Beautiful Thing
Inspired by Junsu's Beautiful Thing...
A/N: ohmygod this took me so long, but i finally finished the hansu! *sobs with relief*
comment is love and stalkers are welcome <3
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BEAUTIFUL THING (Hansu)
No one understands. Your closest bandmates cannot figure out why you spent so long in the shower. Your best friend gapes at you when you grasp the cup so hard it shatters.
They don’t ask and they don’t care. Not right now. They can’t care because there are so many other people who needs more attention, more of their time. But what they don’t know is that you need that comfort too, just as much as anyone else.
The first time you saw him, you truly understood what beautiful was. Beautiful in the way he danced, in the way he smiled. Beautiful in his determination and his kindness. Beautiful in the way he protected and the way he loved.
He loved them all, as friends, brothers, lovers. You tell yourself he loved you too, not in the simple loyal way he loved everybody, but that those smiles meant what you dreamed they would. Because, even though he doesn’t know- no one knows- for you, he gave the word ‘love’ meaning.
But now you watch Yunho dance in the empty practice room of years past, his breathing far too ragged to be from dancing alone. You watch Jaejoong hyung cooking in the kitchen; his back is turned away, but you can hear the pitter patter of silent tears. You hear of shattered picture frames and vases, deathly silent breakfasts, muffled sobs and damp pillows in the Super Junior dorm. You see puffy red eyes, shaking shoulders, the clenched fists and the blank, empty stares. You’ve never been faced with a full out breakdown and you are thankful you were not there to witness what must’ve happened to reduce Kyuhyun’s voice to a raw rasping whisper and Shiwon’s hands into such a heavily bandaged mess.
You bear no scars, save for the slightly puffy eyes, heavy bags and hollow cheekbones that has been bestowed upon them all. But your heart feels like it is about to falter and give up any second now and you are sure you are going to just collapse, free from all your pain, from this world. It was only a matter of time.
No one frowns upon the others, the ones brave enough to make their feelings well know. But you know that was what would happen if you suddenly burst into tears or cracked completely. After all you’re just a dongsaeng. Yet you knew you knew you had just as much right to breakdown as anyone here...because you loved him too.
He was always surrounded by flowers, something about the simple Chinese man was like a magnet that drew in everyone from the iciest, distant princess to the snarky, bad tempered queen to the introverted and cold prince. Even now he was still surrounded by flowers, the soft white lillies and the six eye catching men around him. Jaejoong was an ice statue, unmoving, unblinking, empty of everything inside. He didn’t even seem to notice the tears trailing down his cheek. Yunho moved stiffily, robbed of his usual grace completely. He drifted, like he’d be blown away by a gust of wind, as if someone had taken away his spirit and fire, what grounded him and kept him sane. Heechul’s wide eyes were hidden behind shades but everything about him told of the walls that were falling back into place, never to be breached again. Donghae was unsmiling, barely recognizable without his cute antics and bright expression. There were tears flowing down his cheeks even as he bit his lips and tried to hold them back. They mourned an innocence forever stolen. Kyuhyun stood, impassive and an unyielding statue, but the unnatural brightness of his eyes sang like the most heartwrenching melody written with tears and blood. And Siwon...Siwon was smiling, a ghastly twist of the lips, as if nothing on earth mattered anymore; it was the smile of someone who no longer believed in anything, a person who was challenging death, because he couldn’t care less if it really came to claim him.
You stand off to the side and you watch and you choke back hysterical laughter. You know he shouldn’t be a beautiful person anymore-the months of torture and pain and tests and a cancer that ravaged his body took care of that. But you still saw him in your mind, in your heart, that same beautiful person that stole changed your life without even trying. Now as you watch him finally rest, with the peace and honor he deserves, you know he is still as beautiful as ever.
Once a beautiful man who walked into your heart, now a beautiful thing that took it away.
A/N: ohmygod this took me so long, but i finally finished the hansu! *sobs with relief*
comment is love and stalkers are welcome <3
**************************
BEAUTIFUL THING (Hansu)
No one understands. Your closest bandmates cannot figure out why you spent so long in the shower. Your best friend gapes at you when you grasp the cup so hard it shatters.
They don’t ask and they don’t care. Not right now. They can’t care because there are so many other people who needs more attention, more of their time. But what they don’t know is that you need that comfort too, just as much as anyone else.
The first time you saw him, you truly understood what beautiful was. Beautiful in the way he danced, in the way he smiled. Beautiful in his determination and his kindness. Beautiful in the way he protected and the way he loved.
He loved them all, as friends, brothers, lovers. You tell yourself he loved you too, not in the simple loyal way he loved everybody, but that those smiles meant what you dreamed they would. Because, even though he doesn’t know- no one knows- for you, he gave the word ‘love’ meaning.
But now you watch Yunho dance in the empty practice room of years past, his breathing far too ragged to be from dancing alone. You watch Jaejoong hyung cooking in the kitchen; his back is turned away, but you can hear the pitter patter of silent tears. You hear of shattered picture frames and vases, deathly silent breakfasts, muffled sobs and damp pillows in the Super Junior dorm. You see puffy red eyes, shaking shoulders, the clenched fists and the blank, empty stares. You’ve never been faced with a full out breakdown and you are thankful you were not there to witness what must’ve happened to reduce Kyuhyun’s voice to a raw rasping whisper and Shiwon’s hands into such a heavily bandaged mess.
You bear no scars, save for the slightly puffy eyes, heavy bags and hollow cheekbones that has been bestowed upon them all. But your heart feels like it is about to falter and give up any second now and you are sure you are going to just collapse, free from all your pain, from this world. It was only a matter of time.
No one frowns upon the others, the ones brave enough to make their feelings well know. But you know that was what would happen if you suddenly burst into tears or cracked completely. After all you’re just a dongsaeng. Yet you knew you knew you had just as much right to breakdown as anyone here...because you loved him too.
He was always surrounded by flowers, something about the simple Chinese man was like a magnet that drew in everyone from the iciest, distant princess to the snarky, bad tempered queen to the introverted and cold prince. Even now he was still surrounded by flowers, the soft white lillies and the six eye catching men around him. Jaejoong was an ice statue, unmoving, unblinking, empty of everything inside. He didn’t even seem to notice the tears trailing down his cheek. Yunho moved stiffily, robbed of his usual grace completely. He drifted, like he’d be blown away by a gust of wind, as if someone had taken away his spirit and fire, what grounded him and kept him sane. Heechul’s wide eyes were hidden behind shades but everything about him told of the walls that were falling back into place, never to be breached again. Donghae was unsmiling, barely recognizable without his cute antics and bright expression. There were tears flowing down his cheeks even as he bit his lips and tried to hold them back. They mourned an innocence forever stolen. Kyuhyun stood, impassive and an unyielding statue, but the unnatural brightness of his eyes sang like the most heartwrenching melody written with tears and blood. And Siwon...Siwon was smiling, a ghastly twist of the lips, as if nothing on earth mattered anymore; it was the smile of someone who no longer believed in anything, a person who was challenging death, because he couldn’t care less if it really came to claim him.
You stand off to the side and you watch and you choke back hysterical laughter. You know he shouldn’t be a beautiful person anymore-the months of torture and pain and tests and a cancer that ravaged his body took care of that. But you still saw him in your mind, in your heart, that same beautiful person that stole changed your life without even trying. Now as you watch him finally rest, with the peace and honor he deserves, you know he is still as beautiful as ever.
Once a beautiful man who walked into your heart, now a beautiful thing that took it away.