FAIRYTALE
THIS IS TO MAKE UP FOR THE ANGSTINESS OF SILENCE. this is so cracktastic and whatthehell that i dont even know. what.
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FAIRYTALE
~
Snow White
Once upon a time, there was a kind little boy called Wookie and he had the snow white skin and red lips and beautiful black hair, although Wookie preferred brown hair, but someone always stopped him just before he dyed it muttering something about plot and classics and he really didn’t know. He met new friends one day and was so happy that there were people shorter than him, that he decided to live with them. But then all he could do was clean dishes and mop floors all day and Wookie was secretly glad when his evil stepmother turned up with that funny tasting apple. He laughed scornfully at the supposedly delicious apple- he grew them so much better- and accidentally choked trying to tell her not to buy this apple anymore. His friends hide him in a coffin deep in the forest and there’s no sunlight at all and by the time he finally gets rid of that stupid piece of apple, he really is a thousand times fairer than anyone else in the land.
~
Cinderella
Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful man named Rella and he was forced to live with a wicked stepmother after his father remarried. His stepmother was evil and wanted Rella to do all the housework and make him dress much uglier than his stepbrothers. But Rella was much too hot to dress up in those non-designer branded clothing and cleaning scratched his nails. Plus, he was much more wicked than his stepmother and made his stepbrothers do all the work for him. They plead with him to go to a ball one day just so that he can attract attention to their corner of the room. Rella really had better things to do, but all the glitter on the carriage caught his fancy and he decided to go. There wasn’t really any hot guys there and he had promised to stay till the morning, but Rella figured that it wouldn’t really hurt to leave on midnight, considering it was already morning. He went home and relaxed a bit and read some magazines. Then the creepy guy with the plastic smile turned up the next day and tried to shove some ugly glass shoes on his feet (who the hell wore glass shoes?!). Rella filed a restraining order on yet another stalker and lived happily ever after.
~
Sleeping Beauty
Once upon a time, there lived a gentle prince by the name of Kibum. He was a very smart young man, but he never really had a chance to show his wisdom, because for some reason, his parents had banned him from going anywhere where there were looms and spindles. Like he cared for womanly stuff like that. Still, that meant Kibum had nowhere to go and all he did was talk to himself in the mirror and be emo. He quickly discovered he had quite the flair for acting, but he couldn’t even be seen in front of the cameras that much, because there were sharp things there too. In the end, Kibum was so bored that he decided he’d just disappear somewhere for a long time and sleep off his boredom. But then some random stranger had tried to sexually assult him in his sleep and he decided maybe it was time to wake up. Then he caught sight of himself in the mirror and decided he needed a haircut.
*************
FAIRYTALE
~
Snow White
Once upon a time, there was a kind little boy called Wookie and he had the snow white skin and red lips and beautiful black hair, although Wookie preferred brown hair, but someone always stopped him just before he dyed it muttering something about plot and classics and he really didn’t know. He met new friends one day and was so happy that there were people shorter than him, that he decided to live with them. But then all he could do was clean dishes and mop floors all day and Wookie was secretly glad when his evil stepmother turned up with that funny tasting apple. He laughed scornfully at the supposedly delicious apple- he grew them so much better- and accidentally choked trying to tell her not to buy this apple anymore. His friends hide him in a coffin deep in the forest and there’s no sunlight at all and by the time he finally gets rid of that stupid piece of apple, he really is a thousand times fairer than anyone else in the land.
~
Cinderella
Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful man named Rella and he was forced to live with a wicked stepmother after his father remarried. His stepmother was evil and wanted Rella to do all the housework and make him dress much uglier than his stepbrothers. But Rella was much too hot to dress up in those non-designer branded clothing and cleaning scratched his nails. Plus, he was much more wicked than his stepmother and made his stepbrothers do all the work for him. They plead with him to go to a ball one day just so that he can attract attention to their corner of the room. Rella really had better things to do, but all the glitter on the carriage caught his fancy and he decided to go. There wasn’t really any hot guys there and he had promised to stay till the morning, but Rella figured that it wouldn’t really hurt to leave on midnight, considering it was already morning. He went home and relaxed a bit and read some magazines. Then the creepy guy with the plastic smile turned up the next day and tried to shove some ugly glass shoes on his feet (who the hell wore glass shoes?!). Rella filed a restraining order on yet another stalker and lived happily ever after.
~
Sleeping Beauty
Once upon a time, there lived a gentle prince by the name of Kibum. He was a very smart young man, but he never really had a chance to show his wisdom, because for some reason, his parents had banned him from going anywhere where there were looms and spindles. Like he cared for womanly stuff like that. Still, that meant Kibum had nowhere to go and all he did was talk to himself in the mirror and be emo. He quickly discovered he had quite the flair for acting, but he couldn’t even be seen in front of the cameras that much, because there were sharp things there too. In the end, Kibum was so bored that he decided he’d just disappear somewhere for a long time and sleep off his boredom. But then some random stranger had tried to sexually assult him in his sleep and he decided maybe it was time to wake up. Then he caught sight of himself in the mirror and decided he needed a haircut.