Catchall post (or: why Vodafone take a lot of my money)
What DO you call an AU of an AU? ...other than 'confusing'. /thought from work
Okay, I need to clear my phone out badly - it keeps trying to make me delete my entire inbox to make room and that's horrifying, so. Stretching back through, like, three fandoms and a lot of random:
Kat: JON STEWART JUST SAID THAT GLEN WAS SLASHING HIS AND MAR'S OSCARS
tshirtgirl: And they share stories about the crazy things their bandmates get up to, and the strange sartorial choices of their lead singers. [this was apropos of Jon Walker and either Bob or Ray. I was driving through Taupo at the time, Allison had control of my phone! :D]
tshirtgirl: Pete is trillian. Totally.1
Kat: I just realised that GSF with girl!Ryan is the same combination as the SGA OT4 and am trying to figure out who'd be who. Though even boy!Ryan would be the alien princess.
Me: I was thinking just now, and I genuinely don't know what to do with this realisation, but- if I was a scientist in the Gateverse? I would be... Dr Lee.
tshirtgirl: Why is there no bandom Canadian shack fic?
Kat: I suppose I can study if Rodney's sex life depends on it.
Kat: I just spent more time than I'm comfortable with looking at the bulge in William Beckett's pants.
Kat: Quote of the day: "I like my lesbians to be actual women." Said in the middle of a conversation about Panic, I love my friends.
Me: I think our plot could be said to exist! ...mostly it is just "Jon and Spencer do cute things", but hey.
Outtakes/excerpts missing from Home Is Not a Place.
Me: Imagine Spencer walking in to work drinking one of those iced coffee in a box drinks, and Jon being all "Philistine!" and "Oh, for god's sake, Spencer!" and grabbing it off him, and it's only the fact that Jon is a really good kisser that keeps him from getting shredded on the spot for interfering with Spencer's caffeine intake. Well, that and the fact he has an iced coffee with real milk in Spencer's hands a minute later, too. Spencer just blinks at him and says "Thanks?" and trudges off towards the staffroom while Brendon hides behind the counter and pretends like he isn't laughing himself sick.
Me: "Take off your pants," Jon says, and Spencer just stares at him for a second, because, yeah, he's been wanting Jon to say that for a while, but he didn't quite expect it to be with his arm flamboyantly covering his eyes and a pair of trackpants dangling from the fingers of his other hand. Spencer shrugs and takes the sweats because, well, he's freezing and Jon has good ideas usually, so he'll just go with it. So he skims off his jeans, slides into Jon's sweatpants, and their differences are readily apparent, now, because they're a little short in the leg, and Spencer has to do up the drawstring for the cause of public decency, and even so the pants hang low on his hips, the fleecy material hugging the curve of his thighs and ass. And when he makes a sound to indicate he's done changing and Jon looks up at him, eyes going dark and hungry, Spencer thinks maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have been so set on jeans all this time. Casual clothing seems to have something with which to recommend itself, too. And Jon just makes a pleased sound in the back of his throat and tugs Spencer closer, hands sliding familiarly into the pockets, rubbing at his hipbone through soft thin fabric, and Jon says huskily, "Warmer?" and Spencer just makes a choked noise and Jon grins.
Stargate/Bandom crossover (v2.0).
[Technically an AU prequel to the Delicate Fucking Flowers girl!verse AU. Technically running in parallel with the Brendon/Vala that Kat wrote a while back. This actually has a plot, not that I've written it yet or that it's the least bit apparent here, heh.]
Me: I was thinking about Jonquil leaning on a bar in Colorado and giggling to herself because Brendon is not just flirting - that's normal - but actually hooking up with a GIRL, and actually Jon's a little jealous, because holy shit, she is really hot, Jon can understand why Brendon's taking a vacation in the land of heterosexuality in this case, but mostly it's just cute and amusing. And then some guy stops right behind her - just fractionally out of the personal space limit that would've been rude - and drawls, "Don't worry, she'll return him how she found him. Probably." and she turns around to joke back, but gets an unexpected eyeful of big blue eyes and a grin that says "I like college basketball, apple pie and old movies, I call my momma every week like clockwork, and if you ask politely I will absolutely fuck your brains out- and make the bed up again with clean sheets after." and Jon decides, shit, maybe it's about time she took a vacation in the land of heterosexuality too. Because jeez that smile and those hands. Maybe military bars weren't such a dumb idea after all.
And because Jon is too classy to hook up with boys in the bathroom of a bar- okay, no, that's a lie, but Zack always yells at her after and also she doesn't really want an audience- she and Mitchell make an escape after a half hour of solid, heart-stoppingly sweet flirting. Jon waves to Ryan and Zack, and Mitchell just strides over to a blonde woman sitting with a guy who looks enough like him that they could be brothers. He murmurs something into each of their ears, nods towards her (Jon smiles demurely), and then presses a fast kiss to the other man's mouth, drink still in hand. So not brothers, then. Jon hopes she hasn't misread this, she hasn't gotten laid in months. The kiss Cam gives her a minute later suggests she hasn't.
[blah blah we go on about this more, Kat points out that Spencer is lonely, I suggest she has a one-night stand with Lindsey Novak that night, and then somehow winds up hooking up with Chuck (the gate tech in Atlantis, for those of you not playing along at home) long-term, although admittedly that suggestion was 10000% more to make Kat flail than about character-based assumptions. :D]
Kat: OMG, imagine the Atlantis grapevine once it gets out that Campbell is dating a genuine rockstar. After all, THE USMC LOVES PANIC.2
Me: Yeah, you know that picture of baby lesbian!Spencer with the white pressed shirt with the fancy collar and kind of visible nipples? Also in this verse, Ryan told her to wear a bra after that, and while she hates being TOLD to do anything, she kind of agreed, because eek. Of course, Chuck is a google ninja and works with people with the social grace of, well, twelve year olds, so he winds up with a couple copies of it. When Spencer finds them on his laptop she puts him on blowjob restriction for two days while she swans around in tiny thin t-shirts and cut-offs that Chuck could swear she must've stolen from Vala out at Cheyenne mountain. As punishments go, it's really a mixed reward/pain scenario, so Chuck just tries to enjoy the view. And then spends some quality time making his apologies directly to her breasts. The next time Chuck gets an email in Pegasus from her, there's a big avi file attached. Of Spencer making out with Jon, and he just knows every single person between there and the SGC has watched it already. [And then I lost the end of this thread, damnit. Kat?]
Random MCR.
Me: I'm thinking about Brian and Bob entertaining themselves by giving each other shit, and Bob's all "You want me to prove I can fit you packed into my kit, Schechter? Because you know you will." and Brian will be all lazy leaning against the wall, and he'll flip Bob off and be all "Oh, just go on and try it, Bryar," and then Frank just can't take it any more and bounces up from where he was sprawled all over Mikey (who is far more comfortable than he looks, which works out well because then Frank's only competition for using Mikey as his own personal pillow is, well, Gee. And Wentz, of course.) to say, "God, seriously, when are you two going to move past all the flirting and pigtail-pulling-" Bob's glare is a thing of beauty, "-and just fuck already."
Bob and Brian give him identical mystified (guilty) looks. "We're not flirting," Brian tries to explain in his best 'talking to idiots' tone (it's a well-practiced one). "Yeah, no, you totally are," Mikey agrees, and Bob just looks betrayed.
"Ray?" he asks, looking for someone as support, because clearly deserting back to Brian's side isn't going to do either of them much good right now.
"All I ask is that you lock the door when you inevitably start doing things I don't want to know about in the back lounge," Ray says long-sufferingly, and then mutters about how he's clearly been in this band too long to be so resigned to this sort of behaviour. Bob just sidles not all that subtly a little further away from Brian and neither of them meet each others' eyes. Frank just slumps back against Mikey's shoulder and thinks about sneaking a nap. Besides, now they've busted up the little cloud of denial those two were living in, he figures he's only got a couple hours peace and quiet left anyway.
Also, some Bob/Jon.
Me: Hey, so, I keep pondering Bob/Jon. Because, think of the pretty. I'm not entirely sure what they'd have in common other than,you know, smoking hot and, I guess, that whole 'coming into a band which was already formed' thing.
tshirtgirl: And the beard growing contests, and the fact that their bands, so GIRLY! So hard, being the only real boy.
Me: TAWG help me, am now imagining a Real Boy club a la the Sweet Little Dudes. And Pete totally wants to join as well (Pete hates missing out on stuff, and he is totally a Real Boy, shut up Andy), but Bob is all "Sorry, wrong fairytale, Peter Pan." And then it's all-out war starting with insulting peoples' noses and terrible, terrible puns about wood and then it graduates into themed pins and t-shirts that are clearly, deliberately, divinely destined straight for Go Fug Yourself (and frankly Bob thinks using the internet as your unofficial reserve force is totally cheating). Bob is stuck wondering why he ever even opened his big mouth in the first place because he knew better, he totally knew better, he didn't live with Patrick and not learn these kinds of things, and then he makes the mistake of saying that out loud and Brian just looks at him and says, with a heartbreaking lack of sincere sympathy, "It's okay, you were just showing off for Jon," and so of course Bob has to get him in a headlock and make him pay.
Bond. James Bond. ...or something.
tshirtgirl: Bob Bryar, secret agent. He accepted the offer to join MCR because he needed to keep an eye on Mikeyway, who's actually an evil genius. He passed all the agency stealth exams with flying colours, too, and also all the ettiquette classes (even though he hated that bit) because secret agents have to be suave. The guys would give him no end of shit if they knew he could ballroom dance though.
Me: *keymash!!*
tshirtgirl: Stuck on that mental image too. Tux. Clean shaven. Brooding in the corner with a glass of champagne in one hand (Joetroh is undercover as a waiter and keeps passing him with a "More champagne, sir?" and Bob can't refuse because it'd be just like Joe to cause a scene and Bob can't have his cover blown just at the moment because that would be BAD, they've been working on this op for months. Joe's a member of FOB to keep an eye on Pete, by the way. They've been watching him for years, they're worried he's trying to take over the world. They recruited Joe to keep an eye on him, made him suggest starting a band, they even found him Patrick, which makes Joe's life a lot easier. Patrick does most of the Pete wrangling for him. And they're not wrong, Pete does want to take over the world, he's just thinking more along the lines of musical empires, not destroying economies. Bob hates Joe, his life is so EASY.
tshirtgirl: In addition to Bob Bryar, Secret Agent, Spencer Smith and Jon Walker a la Mr and Mrs Smith3. Neither of them have any idea that they work for rival agencies, and there's a comedy of errors type plot where they have to deal with have to execute a hit on each other and then escape all the bad guys together.
Some really old SGA AU stuff.
Kat: So maybe John's a WWI aviator who flies through some handwave science anomaly and ends up in the present, and makes it to the SGC who assign Rodney to look after him ("You can't think of a better use for my talents than -tour guide-?") and Rodney wants to hate John but can't, because he's so endearingly wide-eyed about everything. And somehow John ends up seeing teh ghey somewhere and goes off on a rant about how it's a sin and so on and Rodney is morally indignant for a minute until he sees John's FACE and he's all "Wait, John, are you-" and reaches out to touch John's shoulder and there's a moment that's tense and amazing before they kiss, which is sweeter than Rodney knew was possible.
Kat: I was reading crappy paranormal romance and now I'm thinking of Rodney as a disbelieving latent psychic who gets entangled in something Big and John has to teach him to use his powers and it's all very good-vs-evil and magick-with-a-k and sexy. Atths.
And the inevitable Stargate/Star Wars crossover.
Kat: Imagine John as a Wraith4 pilot and Rodney as a scientist under their guard after defecting from the Imps (he was only in it for the science, relaly) and everyone's afraid he's a spy, because he seems like the worst spy ever, which would be a good cover. And who knows what that would do to John - that they're sleeping together is a very open secret.
1That really is way funnier without context, sorry.
2No, true story. That came across the text screens at the Denver HCT date, cueing Kat and I to almost bust something laughing hysterically. And I quote: "USMC loves Panic! Semper fi!" Way funnier than all the Twilight jokes! ;)
3I appear to have lost the initial text, but we definitely agreed that Spencer was Mrs Smith. SORRY SPENCER. :D
4The X Wing squadron! Not the space vampires! Although, hrm, the penchant for putting people on their knees... but I digress. ;)
And now I have only 10 messages in total on my phone, all sentimental stuff and none fic/random silly. YAY PROGRESS. (It holds, um. About 150 - 180 before it starts complaining. NOT A WORD, guys. *shaaaaame*)
Okay, I need to clear my phone out badly - it keeps trying to make me delete my entire inbox to make room and that's horrifying, so. Stretching back through, like, three fandoms and a lot of random:
Kat: JON STEWART JUST SAID THAT GLEN WAS SLASHING HIS AND MAR'S OSCARS
tshirtgirl: And they share stories about the crazy things their bandmates get up to, and the strange sartorial choices of their lead singers. [this was apropos of Jon Walker and either Bob or Ray. I was driving through Taupo at the time, Allison had control of my phone! :D]
tshirtgirl: Pete is trillian. Totally.1
Kat: I just realised that GSF with girl!Ryan is the same combination as the SGA OT4 and am trying to figure out who'd be who. Though even boy!Ryan would be the alien princess.
Me: I was thinking just now, and I genuinely don't know what to do with this realisation, but- if I was a scientist in the Gateverse? I would be... Dr Lee.
tshirtgirl: Why is there no bandom Canadian shack fic?
Kat: I suppose I can study if Rodney's sex life depends on it.
Kat: I just spent more time than I'm comfortable with looking at the bulge in William Beckett's pants.
Kat: Quote of the day: "I like my lesbians to be actual women." Said in the middle of a conversation about Panic, I love my friends.
Me: I think our plot could be said to exist! ...mostly it is just "Jon and Spencer do cute things", but hey.
Outtakes/excerpts missing from Home Is Not a Place.
Me: Imagine Spencer walking in to work drinking one of those iced coffee in a box drinks, and Jon being all "Philistine!" and "Oh, for god's sake, Spencer!" and grabbing it off him, and it's only the fact that Jon is a really good kisser that keeps him from getting shredded on the spot for interfering with Spencer's caffeine intake. Well, that and the fact he has an iced coffee with real milk in Spencer's hands a minute later, too. Spencer just blinks at him and says "Thanks?" and trudges off towards the staffroom while Brendon hides behind the counter and pretends like he isn't laughing himself sick.
Me: "Take off your pants," Jon says, and Spencer just stares at him for a second, because, yeah, he's been wanting Jon to say that for a while, but he didn't quite expect it to be with his arm flamboyantly covering his eyes and a pair of trackpants dangling from the fingers of his other hand. Spencer shrugs and takes the sweats because, well, he's freezing and Jon has good ideas usually, so he'll just go with it. So he skims off his jeans, slides into Jon's sweatpants, and their differences are readily apparent, now, because they're a little short in the leg, and Spencer has to do up the drawstring for the cause of public decency, and even so the pants hang low on his hips, the fleecy material hugging the curve of his thighs and ass. And when he makes a sound to indicate he's done changing and Jon looks up at him, eyes going dark and hungry, Spencer thinks maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have been so set on jeans all this time. Casual clothing seems to have something with which to recommend itself, too. And Jon just makes a pleased sound in the back of his throat and tugs Spencer closer, hands sliding familiarly into the pockets, rubbing at his hipbone through soft thin fabric, and Jon says huskily, "Warmer?" and Spencer just makes a choked noise and Jon grins.
Stargate/Bandom crossover (v2.0).
[Technically an AU prequel to the Delicate Fucking Flowers girl!verse AU. Technically running in parallel with the Brendon/Vala that Kat wrote a while back. This actually has a plot, not that I've written it yet or that it's the least bit apparent here, heh.]
Me: I was thinking about Jonquil leaning on a bar in Colorado and giggling to herself because Brendon is not just flirting - that's normal - but actually hooking up with a GIRL, and actually Jon's a little jealous, because holy shit, she is really hot, Jon can understand why Brendon's taking a vacation in the land of heterosexuality in this case, but mostly it's just cute and amusing. And then some guy stops right behind her - just fractionally out of the personal space limit that would've been rude - and drawls, "Don't worry, she'll return him how she found him. Probably." and she turns around to joke back, but gets an unexpected eyeful of big blue eyes and a grin that says "I like college basketball, apple pie and old movies, I call my momma every week like clockwork, and if you ask politely I will absolutely fuck your brains out- and make the bed up again with clean sheets after." and Jon decides, shit, maybe it's about time she took a vacation in the land of heterosexuality too. Because jeez that smile and those hands. Maybe military bars weren't such a dumb idea after all.
And because Jon is too classy to hook up with boys in the bathroom of a bar- okay, no, that's a lie, but Zack always yells at her after and also she doesn't really want an audience- she and Mitchell make an escape after a half hour of solid, heart-stoppingly sweet flirting. Jon waves to Ryan and Zack, and Mitchell just strides over to a blonde woman sitting with a guy who looks enough like him that they could be brothers. He murmurs something into each of their ears, nods towards her (Jon smiles demurely), and then presses a fast kiss to the other man's mouth, drink still in hand. So not brothers, then. Jon hopes she hasn't misread this, she hasn't gotten laid in months. The kiss Cam gives her a minute later suggests she hasn't.
[blah blah we go on about this more, Kat points out that Spencer is lonely, I suggest she has a one-night stand with Lindsey Novak that night, and then somehow winds up hooking up with Chuck (the gate tech in Atlantis, for those of you not playing along at home) long-term, although admittedly that suggestion was 10000% more to make Kat flail than about character-based assumptions. :D]
Kat: OMG, imagine the Atlantis grapevine once it gets out that Campbell is dating a genuine rockstar. After all, THE USMC LOVES PANIC.2
Me: Yeah, you know that picture of baby lesbian!Spencer with the white pressed shirt with the fancy collar and kind of visible nipples? Also in this verse, Ryan told her to wear a bra after that, and while she hates being TOLD to do anything, she kind of agreed, because eek. Of course, Chuck is a google ninja and works with people with the social grace of, well, twelve year olds, so he winds up with a couple copies of it. When Spencer finds them on his laptop she puts him on blowjob restriction for two days while she swans around in tiny thin t-shirts and cut-offs that Chuck could swear she must've stolen from Vala out at Cheyenne mountain. As punishments go, it's really a mixed reward/pain scenario, so Chuck just tries to enjoy the view. And then spends some quality time making his apologies directly to her breasts. The next time Chuck gets an email in Pegasus from her, there's a big avi file attached. Of Spencer making out with Jon, and he just knows every single person between there and the SGC has watched it already. [And then I lost the end of this thread, damnit. Kat?]
Random MCR.
Me: I'm thinking about Brian and Bob entertaining themselves by giving each other shit, and Bob's all "You want me to prove I can fit you packed into my kit, Schechter? Because you know you will." and Brian will be all lazy leaning against the wall, and he'll flip Bob off and be all "Oh, just go on and try it, Bryar," and then Frank just can't take it any more and bounces up from where he was sprawled all over Mikey (who is far more comfortable than he looks, which works out well because then Frank's only competition for using Mikey as his own personal pillow is, well, Gee. And Wentz, of course.) to say, "God, seriously, when are you two going to move past all the flirting and pigtail-pulling-" Bob's glare is a thing of beauty, "-and just fuck already."
Bob and Brian give him identical mystified (guilty) looks. "We're not flirting," Brian tries to explain in his best 'talking to idiots' tone (it's a well-practiced one). "Yeah, no, you totally are," Mikey agrees, and Bob just looks betrayed.
"Ray?" he asks, looking for someone as support, because clearly deserting back to Brian's side isn't going to do either of them much good right now.
"All I ask is that you lock the door when you inevitably start doing things I don't want to know about in the back lounge," Ray says long-sufferingly, and then mutters about how he's clearly been in this band too long to be so resigned to this sort of behaviour. Bob just sidles not all that subtly a little further away from Brian and neither of them meet each others' eyes. Frank just slumps back against Mikey's shoulder and thinks about sneaking a nap. Besides, now they've busted up the little cloud of denial those two were living in, he figures he's only got a couple hours peace and quiet left anyway.
Also, some Bob/Jon.
Me: Hey, so, I keep pondering Bob/Jon. Because, think of the pretty. I'm not entirely sure what they'd have in common other than,you know, smoking hot and, I guess, that whole 'coming into a band which was already formed' thing.
tshirtgirl: And the beard growing contests, and the fact that their bands, so GIRLY! So hard, being the only real boy.
Me: TAWG help me, am now imagining a Real Boy club a la the Sweet Little Dudes. And Pete totally wants to join as well (Pete hates missing out on stuff, and he is totally a Real Boy, shut up Andy), but Bob is all "Sorry, wrong fairytale, Peter Pan." And then it's all-out war starting with insulting peoples' noses and terrible, terrible puns about wood and then it graduates into themed pins and t-shirts that are clearly, deliberately, divinely destined straight for Go Fug Yourself (and frankly Bob thinks using the internet as your unofficial reserve force is totally cheating). Bob is stuck wondering why he ever even opened his big mouth in the first place because he knew better, he totally knew better, he didn't live with Patrick and not learn these kinds of things, and then he makes the mistake of saying that out loud and Brian just looks at him and says, with a heartbreaking lack of sincere sympathy, "It's okay, you were just showing off for Jon," and so of course Bob has to get him in a headlock and make him pay.
Bond. James Bond. ...or something.
tshirtgirl: Bob Bryar, secret agent. He accepted the offer to join MCR because he needed to keep an eye on Mikeyway, who's actually an evil genius. He passed all the agency stealth exams with flying colours, too, and also all the ettiquette classes (even though he hated that bit) because secret agents have to be suave. The guys would give him no end of shit if they knew he could ballroom dance though.
Me: *keymash!!*
tshirtgirl: Stuck on that mental image too. Tux. Clean shaven. Brooding in the corner with a glass of champagne in one hand (Joetroh is undercover as a waiter and keeps passing him with a "More champagne, sir?" and Bob can't refuse because it'd be just like Joe to cause a scene and Bob can't have his cover blown just at the moment because that would be BAD, they've been working on this op for months. Joe's a member of FOB to keep an eye on Pete, by the way. They've been watching him for years, they're worried he's trying to take over the world. They recruited Joe to keep an eye on him, made him suggest starting a band, they even found him Patrick, which makes Joe's life a lot easier. Patrick does most of the Pete wrangling for him. And they're not wrong, Pete does want to take over the world, he's just thinking more along the lines of musical empires, not destroying economies. Bob hates Joe, his life is so EASY.
tshirtgirl: In addition to Bob Bryar, Secret Agent, Spencer Smith and Jon Walker a la Mr and Mrs Smith3. Neither of them have any idea that they work for rival agencies, and there's a comedy of errors type plot where they have to deal with have to execute a hit on each other and then escape all the bad guys together.
Some really old SGA AU stuff.
Kat: So maybe John's a WWI aviator who flies through some handwave science anomaly and ends up in the present, and makes it to the SGC who assign Rodney to look after him ("You can't think of a better use for my talents than -tour guide-?") and Rodney wants to hate John but can't, because he's so endearingly wide-eyed about everything. And somehow John ends up seeing teh ghey somewhere and goes off on a rant about how it's a sin and so on and Rodney is morally indignant for a minute until he sees John's FACE and he's all "Wait, John, are you-" and reaches out to touch John's shoulder and there's a moment that's tense and amazing before they kiss, which is sweeter than Rodney knew was possible.
Kat: I was reading crappy paranormal romance and now I'm thinking of Rodney as a disbelieving latent psychic who gets entangled in something Big and John has to teach him to use his powers and it's all very good-vs-evil and magick-with-a-k and sexy. Atths.
And the inevitable Stargate/Star Wars crossover.
Kat: Imagine John as a Wraith4 pilot and Rodney as a scientist under their guard after defecting from the Imps (he was only in it for the science, relaly) and everyone's afraid he's a spy, because he seems like the worst spy ever, which would be a good cover. And who knows what that would do to John - that they're sleeping together is a very open secret.
1That really is way funnier without context, sorry.
2No, true story. That came across the text screens at the Denver HCT date, cueing Kat and I to almost bust something laughing hysterically. And I quote: "USMC loves Panic! Semper fi!" Way funnier than all the Twilight jokes! ;)
3I appear to have lost the initial text, but we definitely agreed that Spencer was Mrs Smith. SORRY SPENCER. :D
4The X Wing squadron! Not the space vampires! Although, hrm, the penchant for putting people on their knees... but I digress. ;)
And now I have only 10 messages in total on my phone, all sentimental stuff and none fic/random silly. YAY PROGRESS. (It holds, um. About 150 - 180 before it starts complaining. NOT A WORD, guys. *shaaaaame*)