If I ever wanted to piss off my family, here's how i'd do it....
So. yeah. I made a list.
1.) My mom said to me a couple weeks ago when I went back for thanksgiving break. "Stephanie. You better not become a lesbian." I was like "wut?" and she was all worried because one of my good friends at college has a girlfriend back at home. and I wuz like... "ok" .... and then I was like "Why, whats wrong with gay people?"
and she was like "your dad will kill you."
and I was like... "mmmk..."
and then later during my vacation I hung out w/ my older sister Michelle and she was like... "you'd better not become a lesbian" when I brought up wut mom said. And I was like "Wtf Im not." And she was like. "Just don't. I would still love you but dad will kill you."
So I've decided that Plan One of pissing off my family would be pretending to be a lesbian and watching my dad pop an artery. Ha. teach him to be racist against gay people :P...
sadly im not permenantly one, though. I like gaymansex too much *sigh*
2.) step 2 of pissing my family off would be becoming a wiccan and praying with a pentagram and practicing with tarot cards and all that. My kin is devotely catholic, but i think they are more scared of that stuff than anything. This one isn't as cool as the first, because I'd feel bad when faced in front of all my little cousins and my grandma. And though it would teach my dad a lesson or two, I don't really like that stuff anyway.
3.) step 3 of pissing amy family off would be to vote democratic.
I don't think that requires explanation.
4.) I could marry a black person, or a person who's been in jail... or someone with ADD. Or I could marry a devotely jewish libral professor from Harvard. Now THAT would piss them off.
So in general, marry someone I love but they don't like.
5.) Become my mother. The Nolan side of the family would hate me. I would have to do girly things like let my grandmother invite everyone to my house and then get pissed off at the last minute when no one brings dip. yes. she's done that.
6.)Convince them that I'm a bad writer. I AM a bad writer... but no one within miles of my mother knows this. I would have to PROVE how bad of a writer I am with evidence and specific examples. It will actually make me feel good knowing how shocked she would be.
7.)Don't become rich. Don't pay for them when they get old. Don't move out of their basement till I'm at least thirty. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.
8.) Move to NYC and don't talk to them for months and months.
9.) Convince my aunt into becoming a lesbian. she's been having dating trouble after all.
(hahaha that would never work)
10.) Waste my education. Fail out. (this is only if it is WAR and I'm REALLY DESPARATE!)
11.)Start Smoking. And smoke in the house on vacation.
12.) AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Is my family racist or is this all good advice they've been giving me? Oh well... back to knitting.
1.) My mom said to me a couple weeks ago when I went back for thanksgiving break. "Stephanie. You better not become a lesbian." I was like "wut?" and she was all worried because one of my good friends at college has a girlfriend back at home. and I wuz like... "ok" .... and then I was like "Why, whats wrong with gay people?"
and she was like "your dad will kill you."
and I was like... "mmmk..."
and then later during my vacation I hung out w/ my older sister Michelle and she was like... "you'd better not become a lesbian" when I brought up wut mom said. And I was like "Wtf Im not." And she was like. "Just don't. I would still love you but dad will kill you."
So I've decided that Plan One of pissing off my family would be pretending to be a lesbian and watching my dad pop an artery. Ha. teach him to be racist against gay people :P...
sadly im not permenantly one, though. I like gaymansex too much *sigh*
2.) step 2 of pissing my family off would be becoming a wiccan and praying with a pentagram and practicing with tarot cards and all that. My kin is devotely catholic, but i think they are more scared of that stuff than anything. This one isn't as cool as the first, because I'd feel bad when faced in front of all my little cousins and my grandma. And though it would teach my dad a lesson or two, I don't really like that stuff anyway.
3.) step 3 of pissing amy family off would be to vote democratic.
I don't think that requires explanation.
4.) I could marry a black person, or a person who's been in jail... or someone with ADD. Or I could marry a devotely jewish libral professor from Harvard. Now THAT would piss them off.
So in general, marry someone I love but they don't like.
5.) Become my mother. The Nolan side of the family would hate me. I would have to do girly things like let my grandmother invite everyone to my house and then get pissed off at the last minute when no one brings dip. yes. she's done that.
6.)Convince them that I'm a bad writer. I AM a bad writer... but no one within miles of my mother knows this. I would have to PROVE how bad of a writer I am with evidence and specific examples. It will actually make me feel good knowing how shocked she would be.
7.)Don't become rich. Don't pay for them when they get old. Don't move out of their basement till I'm at least thirty. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.
8.) Move to NYC and don't talk to them for months and months.
9.) Convince my aunt into becoming a lesbian. she's been having dating trouble after all.
(hahaha that would never work)
10.) Waste my education. Fail out. (this is only if it is WAR and I'm REALLY DESPARATE!)
11.)Start Smoking. And smoke in the house on vacation.
12.) AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Is my family racist or is this all good advice they've been giving me? Oh well... back to knitting.