I love my life here, but I miss home so much.
HORMONAL RANT IS HORMONAL. Or emo. You take your pic there, kids.
So I wrote two emails today to people back home that might get recieved poorly, though they were written with sincere intent. It's come to my mind that something that's been bothering me hasn't been bothering me because I was angry or frustrated or upset, but that perhaps, it is just a tangible reminder that there is a world that my friends in America are experiancing, and I am no longer in it. It's just strange, and it makes me feel uncomfortable, displaced and strange. I want to be ablwe to go home again, but it is something that I don't want to do entirely. I've seen what the distance has done to me and my friends at home, we hardly talk. I have friends in the same country that I hardly talk to anymore (Ami-chan, I am looking at you. ARG, we should try and get together sometime).
So I wonder--if I go home, what will happen? Will I even fit in with my family anymore? I love them so much--really, my family is probably more important to me then anything else in the world--but I dunno if I belong there anymore. Which is STUPID, my family loves me as much as I love them.
This probably means I will spare them from wearing lolita at Christmas. XD But never fear, I will be rocking the frills while home this winter, Ohhhh yes I will. (Just not everyday, as I will be playing with the puppies. Possibly will only rock frills while I am out and about shopping for things to go with them, la de da)
I really want to go to Hot Topic dressed in h.naoto, and look for shoes. HRM< I wonder if I can get to a torrid while I am home and shop for clothes? XDDD
Celeste wants me to come with her to Canada next summer, and I am thinking about it, should the Canadian people be cool with it. I'm not 100% sure, because I have no idea what I am doing next year. I am going to be taking some stuff home with me (Books, mostly, and clothes and such). I don't know if I'm moving, and really, I don't need to be thinking of ANY OF THIS NOW because I know it stresses me out. Mostly, I am not thinking about it, but it did cross my mind today as I was thinking about a lot of things.
Yesyes, I think too much.
In other news, there is a meme I need to do. XDDD I have this feeling my answers to it will consist of three people, mostly.
Randomly: I found out someone wants to be me, and I think that is flattering, and slightly hilarious. Considering I think my life is boring.
Well. . . . it's not when I meet Japanese mother fuckers. (OMG THAT STILL CRACKS ME UP, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
So I wrote two emails today to people back home that might get recieved poorly, though they were written with sincere intent. It's come to my mind that something that's been bothering me hasn't been bothering me because I was angry or frustrated or upset, but that perhaps, it is just a tangible reminder that there is a world that my friends in America are experiancing, and I am no longer in it. It's just strange, and it makes me feel uncomfortable, displaced and strange. I want to be ablwe to go home again, but it is something that I don't want to do entirely. I've seen what the distance has done to me and my friends at home, we hardly talk. I have friends in the same country that I hardly talk to anymore (Ami-chan, I am looking at you. ARG, we should try and get together sometime).
So I wonder--if I go home, what will happen? Will I even fit in with my family anymore? I love them so much--really, my family is probably more important to me then anything else in the world--but I dunno if I belong there anymore. Which is STUPID, my family loves me as much as I love them.
This probably means I will spare them from wearing lolita at Christmas. XD But never fear, I will be rocking the frills while home this winter, Ohhhh yes I will. (Just not everyday, as I will be playing with the puppies. Possibly will only rock frills while I am out and about shopping for things to go with them, la de da)
I really want to go to Hot Topic dressed in h.naoto, and look for shoes. HRM< I wonder if I can get to a torrid while I am home and shop for clothes? XDDD
Celeste wants me to come with her to Canada next summer, and I am thinking about it, should the Canadian people be cool with it. I'm not 100% sure, because I have no idea what I am doing next year. I am going to be taking some stuff home with me (Books, mostly, and clothes and such). I don't know if I'm moving, and really, I don't need to be thinking of ANY OF THIS NOW because I know it stresses me out. Mostly, I am not thinking about it, but it did cross my mind today as I was thinking about a lot of things.
Yesyes, I think too much.
In other news, there is a meme I need to do. XDDD I have this feeling my answers to it will consist of three people, mostly.
Randomly: I found out someone wants to be me, and I think that is flattering, and slightly hilarious. Considering I think my life is boring.
Well. . . . it's not when I meet Japanese mother fuckers. (OMG THAT STILL CRACKS ME UP, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)