(no subject)
Where to start eh?
It's been forever since I updated this thing I know.
I've been in a serious slump for sometime now, I've tried to BE happy but it kills me that even when I am happy with people after they are gone I just feel sick.
I think the damage of losing mom and then the house has cause *something* in me to die. I try everyday to be cheerful and be like who I was but I am realizing that I _can't_ be that person again.
Its a real downer that I lost a piece of myself cause of a house. << With mom I can stand better, cause I _know_ she would not want me upset/sad and its hard, I won't lie but I was getting better.
Then bro had to fuck up. No I haven't told him to his face its his fault for the house, and I doubt I ever will. I just fill so _empty_ and worthless cause of this shit and he just goes on with his life like everything.is.fine.
God I hate him at times, I really do. I was willing to give him another chance up but noooo he had to screw that up too and run away. >_< Now I am up here trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life.
Part of me wants to live to the fullest but the other part just doesn't see the point. I don't know what to do anymore and hell if I am going to tell my family the problems I'm dealing with. They have enough troubles without me adding to them. >.<
I just want to be normal so badly its not funny. I want a job, and to do/buy things I _want_ but it just seems hopeless.
Though I haven't said anything my cousin has hinted that I need a vacation from life and then the coolest grrl ever told me days later she was going to AFO and with the help of the smexiest guy in the world I am going too! XD
Its moments like these that I remember life takes a little time to get straighten out so I don't need to rush...but damnit it sucks. <.<
Oh another topic I've been watching Tsubasa(dub)...I will be watching the OVAs later this week but it only makes me want to watch FMA: Brotherhood (damn Vic! You and your smexy voice! XD ) and smack some fools for not having Travis play Kurogane....he could of made a good swordman. XDDDDDD
Oh I've been _trying_ to scan a doujinshi all week but every time I try, someone is always coming over(go away! Can't you see I'm scanning porn? XDDD )
Random Fay is sexy and I'm tempted to cosplay him but damn my hair is too long!...Go as girlFay? I say yesssss if I can get my body in shape to pull it off...but I don't have a penny to my name to cosplay and so many people are helping me too to get down there.
Another reason to get a job so I can pay them back(with lots of food, anime and of course YAOI >3 )
Maybe I'll try my luck at the lottery(yea right...)
On another note I just *finish* a new icon for here...its pretty and NeroxDante goodness~ XDD I totally blame Bus Gamer's intro...the characters reminded me of Nero and Dante(two of them anyway). I enjoyed the anime and I hope they bring out more episodes for the series buttttt I think Kazuya Minekura dropped the series so that might be why there was only 3-episodes. XP
Still it was yummy~ and I wouldn't mind seeing more of the characters *coughs*TokixNobuto*coughs*
Now off to play some Facebook games! XDDD;
It's been forever since I updated this thing I know.
I've been in a serious slump for sometime now, I've tried to BE happy but it kills me that even when I am happy with people after they are gone I just feel sick.
I think the damage of losing mom and then the house has cause *something* in me to die. I try everyday to be cheerful and be like who I was but I am realizing that I _can't_ be that person again.
Its a real downer that I lost a piece of myself cause of a house. << With mom I can stand better, cause I _know_ she would not want me upset/sad and its hard, I won't lie but I was getting better.
Then bro had to fuck up. No I haven't told him to his face its his fault for the house, and I doubt I ever will. I just fill so _empty_ and worthless cause of this shit and he just goes on with his life like everything.is.fine.
God I hate him at times, I really do. I was willing to give him another chance up but noooo he had to screw that up too and run away. >_< Now I am up here trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life.
Part of me wants to live to the fullest but the other part just doesn't see the point. I don't know what to do anymore and hell if I am going to tell my family the problems I'm dealing with. They have enough troubles without me adding to them. >.<
I just want to be normal so badly its not funny. I want a job, and to do/buy things I _want_ but it just seems hopeless.
Though I haven't said anything my cousin has hinted that I need a vacation from life and then the coolest grrl ever told me days later she was going to AFO and with the help of the smexiest guy in the world I am going too! XD
Its moments like these that I remember life takes a little time to get straighten out so I don't need to rush...but damnit it sucks. <.<
Oh another topic I've been watching Tsubasa(dub)...I will be watching the OVAs later this week but it only makes me want to watch FMA: Brotherhood (damn Vic! You and your smexy voice! XD ) and smack some fools for not having Travis play Kurogane....he could of made a good swordman. XDDDDDD
Oh I've been _trying_ to scan a doujinshi all week but every time I try, someone is always coming over(go away! Can't you see I'm scanning porn? XDDD )
Random Fay is sexy and I'm tempted to cosplay him but damn my hair is too long!...Go as girlFay? I say yesssss if I can get my body in shape to pull it off...but I don't have a penny to my name to cosplay and so many people are helping me too to get down there.
Another reason to get a job so I can pay them back(with lots of food, anime and of course YAOI >3 )
Maybe I'll try my luck at the lottery(yea right...)
On another note I just *finish* a new icon for here...its pretty and NeroxDante goodness~ XDD I totally blame Bus Gamer's intro...the characters reminded me of Nero and Dante(two of them anyway). I enjoyed the anime and I hope they bring out more episodes for the series buttttt I think Kazuya Minekura dropped the series so that might be why there was only 3-episodes. XP
Still it was yummy~ and I wouldn't mind seeing more of the characters *coughs*TokixNobuto*coughs*
Now off to play some Facebook games! XDDD;