Baby fat.
I worked out daily when Auden was in my belly. I was a gym rat before and I wasn’t about to stop during pregnancy, partly because I knew labor would be hard work...especially for a control freak like me. I hate drugs and medical interventions. So I needed to be strong to bring a baby into the world on my own steam. Luckily, circumstances cooperated and I was able to do a water birth for my son. I feel like a total badass knowing that I birthed two babies without pain meds.
Post-baby, I was busy nursing him and recuperating. I pumped milk when I went back to work and that left me no time to hit the gym. I sat around for eight months and focused on other important things like trying to survive on four hours of sleep while working full-time. I was fine with it because there’s a time for everything.
But the time has come to get back to the gym. I’ve been at it now for two weeks. My muscle atrophy is noticeable and I’m about 20 pounds heavier than my healthy pre-baby weight. I have knee joint pain from treadmill running. I used to jump rope for 20 minutes without stopping; now I can barely coordinate my feet to leap over the rope twice. My gym clothes are snug and my feet hurt. It’s frustrating and humbling.
I remind myself constantly that it took months to get this weak and it will take months to get strong again. But I want to run and lift like I used to do because the memory of strength is all I have to compare. I’ve never been this weak in my life. I suddenly feel every one of my forty years.
On the plus side: my arms are still strong. I can still curl a 20-lb barbell. I thank my heavy baby for that. He loves to be bounced and lifted. So there is hope for the rest of my tired, sore body. It's hard to make changes but this little guy is certainly worth it.
Post-baby, I was busy nursing him and recuperating. I pumped milk when I went back to work and that left me no time to hit the gym. I sat around for eight months and focused on other important things like trying to survive on four hours of sleep while working full-time. I was fine with it because there’s a time for everything.
But the time has come to get back to the gym. I’ve been at it now for two weeks. My muscle atrophy is noticeable and I’m about 20 pounds heavier than my healthy pre-baby weight. I have knee joint pain from treadmill running. I used to jump rope for 20 minutes without stopping; now I can barely coordinate my feet to leap over the rope twice. My gym clothes are snug and my feet hurt. It’s frustrating and humbling.
I remind myself constantly that it took months to get this weak and it will take months to get strong again. But I want to run and lift like I used to do because the memory of strength is all I have to compare. I’ve never been this weak in my life. I suddenly feel every one of my forty years.
On the plus side: my arms are still strong. I can still curl a 20-lb barbell. I thank my heavy baby for that. He loves to be bounced and lifted. So there is hope for the rest of my tired, sore body. It's hard to make changes but this little guy is certainly worth it.