Tomorrow
What to write after this long a silence?
I honestly don't know and I can't honestly say I have a very good reason to be this slack with this journal. I am not having problems, in fact, my life, expect for Stockholm's ridiculous housing prices is relatively unproblematic compared to the most of my friends. I am also aware of that whatever I vent here at times seem like the rants of a spoiled brat, since well, they're not really problems. A lot of the people I know are dealing with basic problems like rent, unemployment or just trying to find somehwere decent to live. I don't. I am not ashamed of this but it makes me feel a bit like a sap when I word my reflections upon my situation.
I have an apartment, a tiny one granted but it's space with a shower close to downtown and I only need to walk for 25 minutes to my work. A luxury in a city where people have to sit in a cramped metro for one hour to be wherever they need to be. I go to a job, a good job really, which was pretty much handed to me straight out of college because of my school's alumni contacts (w00t for prestige schools). If I sit tight in my position for another months, I'll be made a regular consultant rather than a junior one, meaning that I could actually take on cases on my own rather than being an assistant donkey. This is of course theorethically speaking since regs are usually handed bigger tasks within the hugeass long-termed team projects but it -is- an exciting prospect. I'll no longer be the one who's learning, my apprenticeship as a supply chain consultant is officially up, and so, my pay will go up a bit again. Yay.
I made a new friend. A fantastic friend. Someone I can actually very tirelessly just be with and hang out with without doing the whole social rigamole thing. I'm really surprised at how easy it was for us to just get synched and talk about fun stuff or just be quiet in each other's company. It means a lot to me to be allowed to be quiet, and she -gets- it. She also makes me feel a bit like a lazy bum as she works tirelessly as a GP doctor, runs a small marketing company with her husband and plays ping-pong on a national level at the same time. I have no idea of how she makes it.
I miss my best friend horribly. I am more confident than ever that I can make it on my own but I just miss her. Glasha is my continent and compass. I've been in and out of relationships and loves, but no one has ever supported me and my decisions with such a profound understanding as she. No other has ever held me in such high regard and waded through storm and rain just to tell me that 'yes Lidia, you are a good person.' I miss the person who taught me to believe and I wish that I one day will have the courage to tell her I am what I am today because of her. That so much that is good about me begun with what she didnt know she was teaching me.
I am not really involved with anyone right now save the really excellent salads at a small diner I stop by after picking up my groceries. I draw. I write a little now and then when work hasn't completely blown my mind. I wander through the historical, beautiful streets of Stockholm, picking up books and pieces of stuff and transforms them to parts of my life. I wander, and I wonder: is this me, is this all I am?
I honestly don't know and I can't honestly say I have a very good reason to be this slack with this journal. I am not having problems, in fact, my life, expect for Stockholm's ridiculous housing prices is relatively unproblematic compared to the most of my friends. I am also aware of that whatever I vent here at times seem like the rants of a spoiled brat, since well, they're not really problems. A lot of the people I know are dealing with basic problems like rent, unemployment or just trying to find somehwere decent to live. I don't. I am not ashamed of this but it makes me feel a bit like a sap when I word my reflections upon my situation.
I have an apartment, a tiny one granted but it's space with a shower close to downtown and I only need to walk for 25 minutes to my work. A luxury in a city where people have to sit in a cramped metro for one hour to be wherever they need to be. I go to a job, a good job really, which was pretty much handed to me straight out of college because of my school's alumni contacts (w00t for prestige schools). If I sit tight in my position for another months, I'll be made a regular consultant rather than a junior one, meaning that I could actually take on cases on my own rather than being an assistant donkey. This is of course theorethically speaking since regs are usually handed bigger tasks within the hugeass long-termed team projects but it -is- an exciting prospect. I'll no longer be the one who's learning, my apprenticeship as a supply chain consultant is officially up, and so, my pay will go up a bit again. Yay.
I made a new friend. A fantastic friend. Someone I can actually very tirelessly just be with and hang out with without doing the whole social rigamole thing. I'm really surprised at how easy it was for us to just get synched and talk about fun stuff or just be quiet in each other's company. It means a lot to me to be allowed to be quiet, and she -gets- it. She also makes me feel a bit like a lazy bum as she works tirelessly as a GP doctor, runs a small marketing company with her husband and plays ping-pong on a national level at the same time. I have no idea of how she makes it.
I miss my best friend horribly. I am more confident than ever that I can make it on my own but I just miss her. Glasha is my continent and compass. I've been in and out of relationships and loves, but no one has ever supported me and my decisions with such a profound understanding as she. No other has ever held me in such high regard and waded through storm and rain just to tell me that 'yes Lidia, you are a good person.' I miss the person who taught me to believe and I wish that I one day will have the courage to tell her I am what I am today because of her. That so much that is good about me begun with what she didnt know she was teaching me.
I am not really involved with anyone right now save the really excellent salads at a small diner I stop by after picking up my groceries. I draw. I write a little now and then when work hasn't completely blown my mind. I wander through the historical, beautiful streets of Stockholm, picking up books and pieces of stuff and transforms them to parts of my life. I wander, and I wonder: is this me, is this all I am?