(no subject)
there are just something i feel i can deal with right now. But there are just some things i can't too. I've been acting really weird lately i know this, the problem i have with it is it feels so right to act this way. It feels like it's the repressed me, like people don't undersatnd it and i know they don't understand it, but i'm just being real to myself. And i've been saying trippy things outta the blue and antagonising people in ways they seem uncomfortable with. I just want to see a real reaction, i want to know why they do the things they do. I just really want to understand. I wouldn't say it was me being a bitch, i can be a bitch and i'll tell you that i'm out of order. But i don't think i want to apologise for asking straight out what's peoples fascination with stuff. Most of the things sound dodgy like sexual frustrated freudian stuff. But i don't feel like i should censor myself over something so natural, i'm not obbsessed by it and to be honest i don't wanna have long conversations about my sex life at all lol. But am just curious some peoples fascination with porn.
Although my work is looking very very freudian , i had 6 people coming into the computer room, screaming that i had put tits and arse on my work, they said i had made an erotic piece. I really hadn't, it was an accident and then it became this really dirty piece originally really made out of zips and wires. Their minds were in the gutter. Apparently they were saying my mind was in the gutter thats y i created it.yeah yeah.. ^_~
The foo fighters are always using the word: noose (i guess it rhymes or something).
I really get what this songs saying, i sooo get it, i really felt like today i let some people get the best of me. This wasn't inspired by the song, this was how i felt today. Someone was getting the best of me; it was just one of those days. I felt like i wasn't good enough to some people. You felt like you had become wall paper because you weren't good enough. Lately i feel like i've been protected so much from that sort of thing, lately in today, to be back in school and feeling like you weren't good enough. It hurts more when their people that you really respect. People that you really want them to like your work and see that you could be special and shiney too. Even tho no matter what anyone says you feel like you've done well and you can wash up well like a shiney penny one day. It's like you're crushed, like if they can't see something you in now, they'll never see it. I don't wanna impresse anyone or earn validation, it's just really really nice if people appreciate you and some of what you do. It's just nice to feel valued. Today it really made me sad and empty to feel like a wallflower, like it tore me up inside for some reason. Alot of things tear me up inside like that, it makes me determined to be the very best at anything i do.
Another thing as i said at the beginning there is something wrong with me, i think all the excitement is like a sugar rush-everything is all together and you are the most powerful creature on the earth, you get too high and later you experience the biggest low ever- the untimely end and you are the most inhibited, squashed individual that you have ever known .
Some people can make feel like you are a piece of crap and not even physically do anything, just by acting like you don't matter.
I read somewhere someone was gonna crush my spirits and that i should trust my own instincts and ignore them and do what i want anyway, cause it'll turn out right.
There was a point where i really didn't care, i was doing what i wanted to do and i was good, but i'm soo tired and crushed but at the same time i'm so excited. Thinking about what i can do to win. I live in a dream world of winning, come into my world of dreams, i get everything i want in my dreams.
Although my work is looking very very freudian , i had 6 people coming into the computer room, screaming that i had put tits and arse on my work, they said i had made an erotic piece. I really hadn't, it was an accident and then it became this really dirty piece originally really made out of zips and wires. Their minds were in the gutter. Apparently they were saying my mind was in the gutter thats y i created it.yeah yeah.. ^_~
The foo fighters are always using the word: noose (i guess it rhymes or something).
I really get what this songs saying, i sooo get it, i really felt like today i let some people get the best of me. This wasn't inspired by the song, this was how i felt today. Someone was getting the best of me; it was just one of those days. I felt like i wasn't good enough to some people. You felt like you had become wall paper because you weren't good enough. Lately i feel like i've been protected so much from that sort of thing, lately in today, to be back in school and feeling like you weren't good enough. It hurts more when their people that you really respect. People that you really want them to like your work and see that you could be special and shiney too. Even tho no matter what anyone says you feel like you've done well and you can wash up well like a shiney penny one day. It's like you're crushed, like if they can't see something you in now, they'll never see it. I don't wanna impresse anyone or earn validation, it's just really really nice if people appreciate you and some of what you do. It's just nice to feel valued. Today it really made me sad and empty to feel like a wallflower, like it tore me up inside for some reason. Alot of things tear me up inside like that, it makes me determined to be the very best at anything i do.
Another thing as i said at the beginning there is something wrong with me, i think all the excitement is like a sugar rush-everything is all together and you are the most powerful creature on the earth, you get too high and later you experience the biggest low ever- the untimely end and you are the most inhibited, squashed individual that you have ever known .
Some people can make feel like you are a piece of crap and not even physically do anything, just by acting like you don't matter.
I read somewhere someone was gonna crush my spirits and that i should trust my own instincts and ignore them and do what i want anyway, cause it'll turn out right.
There was a point where i really didn't care, i was doing what i wanted to do and i was good, but i'm soo tired and crushed but at the same time i'm so excited. Thinking about what i can do to win. I live in a dream world of winning, come into my world of dreams, i get everything i want in my dreams.