what to say?

[shiftyfive]

i am just riding this smooth streak out for the rest of the year, i think it is because this is my moms last year she just is real happy so therefore she does not want to have to get mad at me. i am getting away with lots but am finding myself being so board and kina having an empty life lately. just like what am i living for kina thing, i am tired every day i can hardly get up for school, then i just go to school and go chill after i usually get fucked up i think i have smoked more and drank more in the last month than any other time, like even more than during the summer. but maybe not i dont really remember much of the last month.

i dont really know what the fuck is going on with prom its like its this huge deal and i feel like no matter what i do about it i will fuck it up or fuck up what someone else wanted me to do. its like if i dont go my parents are like why arent you going, and then i would feel bad for all the girls that wanna go but dont have a date, then when i think about asking someone i think they prob have someone they really wanna go with and if i ask they will be forced to say yes even though there is this other guy they wanted to ask them, then i hear about how everyone says oh the girls just wanna go they dont care who askes them, which i think is lame cause i think you should at least have someone in mind you wanna go with i guess its just me being greedy cause i want a girl to really want to go with me not just want to go to the dance and i am the ticket to the dance. i guess i just wish it was not a big deal and i have come to decide that i should just ask who i want to go with so thats why i asked carly, but just my luck now she prob wont be able to go even another reason why i should just not go at all. if i cant go with her i dont think i really want to go at all, well i guess thats a little more than my two cents on PROM.

well i am sick of typing so for any further information call and ask questions peace out.