为什么如此努力的我是一片狼藉？

[shieldkitten]

100 fic challenge [#100.] Regrets, Zhoumi-centric
Title: 觅觅无敌 (Incomparable Mi Mi) Part 3
Length: 10,748 words
Author: shieldkitten
Beta: cynicalxcharm
Rating: G
Summary: Zhoumi strives to be better than average, because living his life any other way would only fill him with regret.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Author's Notes

Comments

[shieldkitten]

Aw, ♥

I don't think I meant this as a conversion evangelising lmao Siwon you'd be so proud persuasive piece. I wrote it wanting to understand Zhoumi better as a person, like what his motivations might be, what he's been through, how he might react to things now.

I started out as a fierce, insane Only13 - I didn't hate them, I just wanted them to go away and leave Super Junior alone. But the pull of the SJ-M boys speaking in a language I understood was too strong, and after a while I began to seriously like Henry in a way that is still rather insane (I want to... chew on his cheeks? But not literally? Idk, I might just be craving some mocchi). I was still a bit iffy on Zhoumi though, and I didn't want to be iffy on Zhoumi, so I figured the best thing to do was to write Zhoumific and see if I really do like him or not. I didn't expect this to get as big as it did, I just kept writing and wondering and looking for more information, and even as I was writing the last scene I was still surfing around Zhoumi's Baidu bar and only by backtracking to page 60 or something did I find the 觅觅无敌 bit, which presented me with the most adorable fic ending I have ever written, ever.

Thank you for your review!

[tokawaii]

I completely understand how you feel. Every time I see Henry, I have an urge to chew on all his cheeks. XD

Hum, I was being pretty cautious in my original reply because I wasn't very sure about where you stood on the Only13 issue, but now I know I can be a little more verbal about my own take. I basically saw it the same with you did although my reasons for Only13 differ to a great extent from many other Only13 believers. Even the 13 boys see it as a form of devotion from their fans, not attack, yet some people twist it up to be so much harsher then it needs to be.

I honestly don't know very much about ZM besides the basics, but every time someone writes a fic about how he might feel insignificant or inadequate, it's not hard see that sometimes, especially compared to the others, it's more true then not. I wish it wasn't that way, but then that's not being realistic. (Hopefully I don't get my ass pounded in for saying that.) He has his qualities and talents, but it can't be easy to be around people that really really stand out against the crowd. What you did with this fic shows that in a way, and what I really like about it is that it also shows he can raise above it. It's a different approach to getting to the place where he probably wants to be, but it's respectable just the same.

[shieldkitten]

I think it was probably really hard for Zhoumi to come from winning first place in so many things and then being put in a band where he's overshadowed by everyone else, not because they're better, necessarily, but rather because the fans refuse to see his worth.

I have meta about what I see Zhoumi's role in the band as being, but I'm still confused about it myself and can't be coherent, but I think a lot of it comes from his past role as MC. I know people get annoyed that shows keep making ZM MC for them, but I think that's something about him that is necessary, at least until the other boys get better at Mandarin.