The Exorcism of Stephanie O.
I'll never be able to truly describe the way I feel when I hang out with Steph but this much I can tell you: There is not another person on this earth that can fill her spot in my heart. She exhibits many characteristics that I wish I could harness and use for myself. I'm not really a stand-up guy and she's a stand-up girl. When I dated her she used that particular feature to her advantage but now that we've been "just friends" for 5 odd years now (and they have been odd, indeed) I respect her ability to not take crap from anyone and to constantly speak her mind in the bluntest terms possible. She is the anti-christ to a periochial school-raised academic such as myself. She uses incorrect grammar and doesn't care. She swears loudly in public about things that displease her and doesn't consider the consequence. She is capable and smart but prefers to act dumb. She's beautiful in an enirely imperfect way. She doesn't represent the sinister opposite to myself but rather the choice to be free. She has no manners but doesn't seem to care. She is, in a sense, apathetically gorgeous; an amoral bombshell of unexpected suprises surrounded by seductive vibes.
So why can't I tell her all this?
A.) She had to ask me what "unoffcial" meant. This means I can't be my usual boring, wordy self.
B.) She has a boyfriend AGAIN. She started dating him this MORNING. If I had just called her back on Saturday instead of Thursday maybe we wouldn't be having this morose monologue.
C.) I don't want to fall into a pit of love because it's been a long time since I've even bothered with THAT can 'o worms. Plus, that pit is filled with scorpions and snakes and spikes. Not fun stuff, I assure you.
D.) I just can't because I'm a grade A wuss.
With the notable exception of C., every sentence I wrote after a certain point starts with "She." That's just poor writing. Unless you're trying to force a point; Unless you're trying to demonstrate the importance of something. I respect the laws of word over the laws of men (don't misuse "good" and "well" around me) but this girl has me so infatuated sometimes that I can actually start to feel my hands slipping on the uptightness I inherited from my parents. She's locked into my sentences like she's locked in my heart. I love that kid.
Looks like I'll have to wait another six months to see her again. In all sincerity, I can hardly wait. 'Till then I'm sure I have a lot of celibacy and lonesome-ness to consider.
So why can't I tell her all this?
A.) She had to ask me what "unoffcial" meant. This means I can't be my usual boring, wordy self.
B.) She has a boyfriend AGAIN. She started dating him this MORNING. If I had just called her back on Saturday instead of Thursday maybe we wouldn't be having this morose monologue.
C.) I don't want to fall into a pit of love because it's been a long time since I've even bothered with THAT can 'o worms. Plus, that pit is filled with scorpions and snakes and spikes. Not fun stuff, I assure you.
D.) I just can't because I'm a grade A wuss.
With the notable exception of C., every sentence I wrote after a certain point starts with "She." That's just poor writing. Unless you're trying to force a point; Unless you're trying to demonstrate the importance of something. I respect the laws of word over the laws of men (don't misuse "good" and "well" around me) but this girl has me so infatuated sometimes that I can actually start to feel my hands slipping on the uptightness I inherited from my parents. She's locked into my sentences like she's locked in my heart. I love that kid.
Looks like I'll have to wait another six months to see her again. In all sincerity, I can hardly wait. 'Till then I'm sure I have a lot of celibacy and lonesome-ness to consider.