(no subject)
Im sick of everyone in my life, Im sick of being treated like complete garbage. I understand why I deserve it Im not the greatest friend in the world but atleast I try. I hate that Im the one always stuck home on a friday night, or stuck alone on their birthday until 8 and then turn into a taxi driver when Im promised parties and fun but in reality wind up screaming all night. Im sick of getting ditched for someone better or cooler. Im sick of being the 2nd hand to the best thing that has ever happened to you. Im sorry Im not him, or her. Im sorry Im not funny and kind of immature I didnt mean to be atleast six months younger then you, six months means a lot of growing up, so a year, so is three. Im sorry Im not pretty enough for you because honestly I wish I was. Im sorry Im not as smart as you and cant hold a good conversation. Im sorry Im awkward around you its because I dont even know who I am or how I act. Im sorry I freeze up around you I cant put my thoughts into words. Im sorry Im repetitive, its because I dont have a lot of memories or storys to tell that are worth telling. Im not proud of who I let myself become, Im not content with who I am. I hate that Im so damn picky when I have no right to be. Im sorry that this is not who I want to be, but I cant help it because this is all I have. this is me. I didnt mean for this to be directed at one person, but the lot of you readers and non.