head shaveing parties and pointless kindness
i watched my sister explain to my brother how they found more lumps. she told the story from my brothers lap. i held her son and rocked him back and forth. sweet sway.
i watched my sister in law shave her newly grown hair. we listened to james brown.
the boys all stood around while the buzz took the four inches she had grown from her sick body. we all cried without showing it.
we all stood by her for two years... now we sit beside her again.
the month has been tumultuous. the frailty of life and relationships has been thrown around my world by circumstance. cancer it breaking someone in my family. it is breaking my beautiful family. i am willow branch in wind today.
dear friends, if i have been sensitive of our relationships it is because this week i am facing death with my sister. i am facing death with my nephews and with my father. i am holding on to her hands over the phone lines and i am praying desperatly for her safety.... and i am seeing how i cannot have anything unsaid or misunderstood.... .... i am seeing how i cannot let the sun set on anger or dispute... i am seeking to heal what i can heal. maybe because i cannot heal her. i cannot make her better.
maybe i called you because i needed to hear a kind word. maybe i needed someone to take me out for a drink and ask me how my heart was. maybe i let on over the phone just how sick my heart is... just how much i want to hold on to anything and everything... i will not apologize this time.... maybe i needed you to be a friend and touch my shoulder to disperse a bit of strength there.... and although you never would and do not care... i wanted to think you would. but instead you think i sat around all weekend and thought of you. of course you would.
i watched my sister in law shave her newly grown hair. we listened to james brown.
the boys all stood around while the buzz took the four inches she had grown from her sick body. we all cried without showing it.
we all stood by her for two years... now we sit beside her again.
the month has been tumultuous. the frailty of life and relationships has been thrown around my world by circumstance. cancer it breaking someone in my family. it is breaking my beautiful family. i am willow branch in wind today.
dear friends, if i have been sensitive of our relationships it is because this week i am facing death with my sister. i am facing death with my nephews and with my father. i am holding on to her hands over the phone lines and i am praying desperatly for her safety.... and i am seeing how i cannot have anything unsaid or misunderstood.... .... i am seeing how i cannot let the sun set on anger or dispute... i am seeking to heal what i can heal. maybe because i cannot heal her. i cannot make her better.
maybe i called you because i needed to hear a kind word. maybe i needed someone to take me out for a drink and ask me how my heart was. maybe i let on over the phone just how sick my heart is... just how much i want to hold on to anything and everything... i will not apologize this time.... maybe i needed you to be a friend and touch my shoulder to disperse a bit of strength there.... and although you never would and do not care... i wanted to think you would. but instead you think i sat around all weekend and thought of you. of course you would.