May 10, 2006 03:24
I never write in here, or atleast i havent in a long time but i need to
from kait's livejournal.
"But really, I just need a change. I can't wait to move to LaX and start over and stuff. I need that I think. College here sufficed for a while, but now that it's ending, it's time to move on. I get weird internal itches about things like that. I think there are people I'm leaving here that I'm really going to miss. I already know I'm probably going to die without allyssa cuz when we dont talk for like 2 days I feel like I haven't seen her in months haha. We've spent way too many months of constantly being together to make us so attached like that. I'm lucky to have someone who always makes me feel like I can just be myself and it's okay. I have other friends that I'm really close with and I can trust and be okay with, but at times, I just really feel like I have to be something else to make them happy. I feel like I can't dress the way I want and listen to what I want and do the stupid things I do with them because they aren't like that and I dont want to make them feel uncomfortable. But with Allyssa, she joins in on the stupid things I do and makes it even funnier. I don't know many other people that would dress up in sweet baller outfits and make metal finger movies with me. hahah. I'm thankful for everyone else in my life, especially people like Kasey cuz she always gets me and I can tell her almost anything...but Allyssa just always makes it cool for me to be me and be immature when I need to and just do stupid things, like puzzles and being obsessed with ballin' it up, and rocking out to really horribly commercialized pop"punk" shit from the radio. Not many other people understand the importance in that to us. Plus, she's one of the only people I know that is willing to drive to Green Bay, Appleton, Neenah, Sturgeon Bay, Bailey's Harbor, Madison, and Milwaukee every weekend and risk being caught and arrested in some cases haha. Not to mention, her mumma is my mumma and the fact that her mom trusts me and likes me hanging otu with allyssa just makes it even better. Plus, I love that I can be tight with her mom because I like being able to talk to friend's parents. I hate when I feel like a stranger around them, because then I feel like I'm always doing something wrong, and mumma never makes me feel that way. I don't know what I'd be without her, and I don't know what I'm going to do without her next year. I have a feeling she's going to be spending a lot of time in Lax with me...and I am totally down with that. "
And to be honest its true. there's no one in this worl i would rather have as my best friend than kait. Yeah i have other friends and yeah i love them but kait is there when i need her, im comfortable telling her stuff and recieving her honest opinion on thingsm even if at the time i think its wrong it usually ends up beign shes right because she knows me and whats good for me, and i respect that, i respect kait. Doing stuff, going places, is cool with other people but its not the same as with kait. Weve been friends for a little over a year no wid say but ive bonded severly with her over the past few months and i would not give that for the world because it means too much for me to do. theres no one else id rather come close to getting arrested with or go on random trips with or do stupid things with or ball with or do puzzles with. When i was grounded for like a month kait gave up nights where she could ahve done stuff with other people to come hangout with me even if we couldnt go anywhere, i think that says alot about friends when they do little things like that. Liek watching saw 2 and me getting semi-scared and what not.
There is no one that can possibly replace this girl and i wouldnt even want to replace this girl and what she means to me.
it kindof sounds liek im writing about my boyfriend or soemthing but im not
hahaha
i love kait, my best friend, my family. the end