Let downs and disappointments
I've spent my Saturday lying in bed having dreams and nightmares. My original plan was that Charlie had begged to see me for about a week, making plans, but then as I wrote about before that was changed to spending the day together. So I wake up..thinking that I have plans and can get out of the house. So I wake up, and get online and he says he has been waiting for me, but then he tells me he is sick. Now all week he has not mentioned that he is sick, but now he says he has had a summer cold all week. He says he wants to keep his word, but he feels like he might be better tomorrow. He also "says" he turned down the investigation. What does Crystal think? Bullshit.
So I tell him fine, tomorrow, whatever, not a big deal. So I try to say goodbye and he says hang on talking to my dad, thirty or so minutes go by and I say, hello? He says okay done, I say I am gonna leave now, and he says yeah me too, message you later. So we both sign off. Now I am not gonna lie, I am disappointed. My father used to do this to me all the time, "Yeah honey I'll pick you up at such and such...we'll spend the whole weekend together..." So I would pack my little snoopy bag and bring books, and tons of stuff downstairs only to wait there for hour, after hour, and he would never show up. Sometimes he wouldn't even call...and the times he did I always said it was okay, even though I would hang up and cry for hours on end. Because of the things I have suffered in childhood I can't stand people lying to me, and making promises they can't keep, because that has been hurting me my whole life.
So as I said, I lay in bed and fall asleep and sleep most of the afternoon away. When I finally wake up Grandma has cooked dinner, which was lovely, though I wasn't really hungry. Then I get online...only to have like four messages from him. Saying that his transmission is fucked up. He doesn't think he can come tomorrow. Well he knew there was a problem with it when he had to put tranny fluid in it here...so I don't understand why he wouldn't as his father who is a mechanic to fix it, or at least ghetto rig it until he has a full paycheck to fix it. So I told him, his father should be able to help him at least until he could get a permanent fix. His account signs off, and so I call his house, no answer, no answer no answer. I find it kind of strange with a bad transmission that no one is home around 7:15pm onward. Especially since the investigation started at 8pm.
I was tempted to call the investigation people if only to check and see if he is really lying to me, but because we are no longer dating its not my business if he wants to lie to me. Yet another sign that no matter how much I try to remain some type of friendship it just isn't meant to be. So I think tomorrow I'll just stay in the bed too at this point, there isn't anything to stay awake for, or get up for anymore.
So I tell him fine, tomorrow, whatever, not a big deal. So I try to say goodbye and he says hang on talking to my dad, thirty or so minutes go by and I say, hello? He says okay done, I say I am gonna leave now, and he says yeah me too, message you later. So we both sign off. Now I am not gonna lie, I am disappointed. My father used to do this to me all the time, "Yeah honey I'll pick you up at such and such...we'll spend the whole weekend together..." So I would pack my little snoopy bag and bring books, and tons of stuff downstairs only to wait there for hour, after hour, and he would never show up. Sometimes he wouldn't even call...and the times he did I always said it was okay, even though I would hang up and cry for hours on end. Because of the things I have suffered in childhood I can't stand people lying to me, and making promises they can't keep, because that has been hurting me my whole life.
So as I said, I lay in bed and fall asleep and sleep most of the afternoon away. When I finally wake up Grandma has cooked dinner, which was lovely, though I wasn't really hungry. Then I get online...only to have like four messages from him. Saying that his transmission is fucked up. He doesn't think he can come tomorrow. Well he knew there was a problem with it when he had to put tranny fluid in it here...so I don't understand why he wouldn't as his father who is a mechanic to fix it, or at least ghetto rig it until he has a full paycheck to fix it. So I told him, his father should be able to help him at least until he could get a permanent fix. His account signs off, and so I call his house, no answer, no answer no answer. I find it kind of strange with a bad transmission that no one is home around 7:15pm onward. Especially since the investigation started at 8pm.
I was tempted to call the investigation people if only to check and see if he is really lying to me, but because we are no longer dating its not my business if he wants to lie to me. Yet another sign that no matter how much I try to remain some type of friendship it just isn't meant to be. So I think tomorrow I'll just stay in the bed too at this point, there isn't anything to stay awake for, or get up for anymore.