mad plea
Please,
I need you to be mad at me. I can't be mad enough at myself. I need you to make up for the lack of punishment. I need you.
Tonight I lament, for I have hurt those whom I most wished to help. I wanted you to enjoy free life, I wanted you to have love unstained, and I wanted you to fly where I could no longer soar. I want the world for you.
But my unconscious needs are biting through me to nip at you. I'm sorry!!! Still... I cannot battle back these needs, I am not sufficient. I try to fury up my mind, I try to set aflame a guilt which could repent my past: yet questions of unsure guilt gnaw until my brain is reduced to pulp. Then the grey pulp splatters on your hopeful faces. Your once brilliant dreams have been faded by my turmoil. They have been marred by the demons who anonymously pursue my past memories. Memories that should never have been mine. I am ashamed.
I am more ashamed that I still need you.
I need you to be mad at me. I can't be mad enough at myself. I need you to make up for the lack of punishment. I need you.
Tonight I lament, for I have hurt those whom I most wished to help. I wanted you to enjoy free life, I wanted you to have love unstained, and I wanted you to fly where I could no longer soar. I want the world for you.
But my unconscious needs are biting through me to nip at you. I'm sorry!!! Still... I cannot battle back these needs, I am not sufficient. I try to fury up my mind, I try to set aflame a guilt which could repent my past: yet questions of unsure guilt gnaw until my brain is reduced to pulp. Then the grey pulp splatters on your hopeful faces. Your once brilliant dreams have been faded by my turmoil. They have been marred by the demons who anonymously pursue my past memories. Memories that should never have been mine. I am ashamed.
I am more ashamed that I still need you.