ahhh
ok so toight i am just one huge ball of confusion...i did a lot of talking tonight with gerge though about my past..and more recent shit...and that was pretty cool...i realized just how many psychotics i attract as i went through each and every scenario in my car in a parking lot..talking about "old times" and friends, and relationships etc ALWAYS makes me confused..wether in a good or bad feeling way..and it makes me nuts..
i have also ben thinking how some of the most important people to me through my life times may have thought at some point or still think that i dont care about thier feelings or what is going on in thier lives...and i can HONESTLY say that this was never my intention...i am just really horrible with time..feelings..telephones..visits etc.. and it is not because i love anyone any less..i also as much as i hate to admit it..am growing up..faster then i really want to...and im starting to feel old...i feel like all i do is work...i guess 9 hrs of work a night will make someone feel that way...so it isnt that abnormal..but i just hate feeling "grown up" it isnt fun and i want to be care free again! i want to be able to be there to support EVERY person i love and sometimes that is a really overwhelming task for me..especially when i dont know what to say..or am nervous or scared of what im going to hear...and because im a pot head and just let things slip my mind all the damn time...and i hate thinking that i may be coming off as "not caring" to some of the most important people in my life...
if you are reading this and i have ever made you feel this was i am from the bottom of my heart DEEPLY sorry about this...i hope you will forgive me and understand even though it is not said or established all of the time...that i truly do mean it..
night
xoxox
*DaNa*
i have also ben thinking how some of the most important people to me through my life times may have thought at some point or still think that i dont care about thier feelings or what is going on in thier lives...and i can HONESTLY say that this was never my intention...i am just really horrible with time..feelings..telephones..visits etc.. and it is not because i love anyone any less..i also as much as i hate to admit it..am growing up..faster then i really want to...and im starting to feel old...i feel like all i do is work...i guess 9 hrs of work a night will make someone feel that way...so it isnt that abnormal..but i just hate feeling "grown up" it isnt fun and i want to be care free again! i want to be able to be there to support EVERY person i love and sometimes that is a really overwhelming task for me..especially when i dont know what to say..or am nervous or scared of what im going to hear...and because im a pot head and just let things slip my mind all the damn time...and i hate thinking that i may be coming off as "not caring" to some of the most important people in my life...
if you are reading this and i have ever made you feel this was i am from the bottom of my heart DEEPLY sorry about this...i hope you will forgive me and understand even though it is not said or established all of the time...that i truly do mean it..
night
xoxox
*DaNa*