DVD commentary-Things That Go Bump in the Night (SGA)
thegrrrl2002 gave me the excuse to do another commentary. Except she requested Gifts Unasked For or on one several of my PWP's; Gifts has been in the works for a while, and will be in the works for a while. I'm not sure how interesting commentary will be on a PWP, but I'll try. :)
Wow. I really want to do this one, because it was so well received and it's one of my very favorites. But it was written so long ago that I can barely remember anything about it.
The story was prompted by the voyeur challenge on sga_flashfic. At the time, I had been mired in working on Gifts, and it wasn't looking like I was going to be finished with it any time soon. I was feeling a real urge to write something else, to get something else out there to share with people, so that I could keep my excitement going as I worked on my personal epic. Flashfic seemed the perfect place to do that, but voyeurism doesn't usually do much for me.
Or so I thought. *g*
I had planned to write something rather metaphorical, twisting the meaning of voyeur in some way that wasn't sexual. But then I got this flash of an idea--what if the team was involved somehow, and they couldn't let each other know?
One minute John was sleeping the sleep of the blissfully unaware, the next he was wide awake, trying to make out the source of the muffled noises nearby. He slid his hand slowly out from beneath the heavy blanket, ready to grab his gun if he needed to.
That was when Teyla moaned.
Actually, it wasn't really a moan, or he might have assumed that she was in pain. It was more of a high-pitched gasping for breath, abruptly cut off and clearly not an unhappy sound. John clenched his hand around the softness of the blanket, wondering what the hell was going on. Was she...and his brain sort of shorted out at the idea that Teyla might be touching herself, in the same room as the three of them. Nothing could stop his hard-on after that thought. Suddenly the blanket was much too warm, but he didn't want to move it aside, didn't want to make any noise that might alert her to his awareness.
I wanted to start with Teyla, because it would be the most natural for a guy who thought of himself as heterosexual to be both protective at first and then curious and aroused when he hears a woman moaning. And I do go with the idea that John was attracted to Teyla when they first met in Rising--he might have buried it under professionalism, but it would be kind of hard to ignore in the middle of the night with her sexuality practically in his face.
Then someone else grunted. Very definitely a male someone else. He stared upwards, toward the blackness of the ceiling beams, swallowing at the graphic images his mind's eye was providing. Who was it? Was it one of the villagers? He'd never known Teyla to take a lover among their trading partners before, but then again, as the sound of more heavy breathing forced its way into his ears, he was beginning to think he didn't know Teyla very well at all. John slowly turned his head to the right, where Teyla's bed lay along the far side of the hut. He could just make out movement in the shadows.
He could also tell that the bed between hers and his own was empty. Christ, Teyla and Ford were getting it on.
I made a little leap there. I have no idea why Teyla and Ford would go so far as to have sex in the same room as their team mates. I don't really ship Teyla and Ford, except for thinking that Ford might have a little thing for Teyla, and thinking that she thinks he's cute. But I needed them to be occupied, and needed them to be doing something naughty, so that I could get John and Rodney interacting. Maybe it was good old-fashioned Aliens Made Them Do It, with something slipped into their dinner. Who knows? I think it works well enough that it doesn't break the story, though.
He wanted to flop over onto his side and huff in irritation, but now he really, really didn't want to draw attention to himself. No, he didn't want them to know he knew-not until the moment when he killed Ford. Because damn it, this was definitely one of those things you were not supposed to do. Sleeping with teammates was a big no-no. Doing it where your other teammates could hear was just dumb.
Not to mention a little cruel. The little thump that might have been bodies shifting against the muffling bedding just reinforced the thought.
*g* I wanted to bring out the conflicting emotions and thoughts that human beings have regarding sex and propriety in this story. So this whole passage is about John thinking about what the right thing is, and the consequences of Teyla and Ford's action, and being pissed about that, while still having this whole jumble of jealousy and arousal and need. What I enjoy about writing John is that I think that he's pretty self-aware, even though he hides a lot of stuff, so I could let him think those thoughts and acknowledge the humor and contradiction and just plain absurdity of the situation.
Oh, yeah. He was definitely going to kill Ford. After John made him clean all of Atlantis, starting with the used Petri dishes in the bio labs.
And what the hell was Teyla thinking? He really thought she had more common sense. John started the slow process of shifting silently onto his left side as another breathy squeak came from his right. He ignored the petty part that was mourning the thing he thought Teyla had for him. A lot of people liked that line. *g* I like it because it reflects John's streak of vanity and competitiveness that we've seen glimpses of over and over again throughout the show. He's a sweet, caring, heroic guy, but he's not without ego!
The rest of his brain reminded his ego that it wasn't right to think about his teammates that way.
Too bad his dick wasn't getting the message.
He finally eased into a somewhat comfortable position, letting out a slow, careful breath. That was when he noticed Rodney. Rodney's bed was less than two feet away from his own, and John could see his eyes wide open, the pale blue reflecting moonlight like a mirror. Belatedly he realized that the covers had been shifting in a very tell-tale way until Rodney had noticed him watching. Damn. The breathing behind him seemed even louder, echoing around the small room as he met Rodney's eyes. John should really look away now. He should close his eyes at least, let Rodney get on with what he had been doing. Except then every single one of his team would be getting some except for himself, and that just wasn't fair.
And there is discovery. They're both aware of what's going on on the other side of the room, and they're both having the same reaction. And now they both know it. Normally, this would be a moment of embarrasment followed by pretending nothing had happened. But it's the middle of the night, and they can't do anything about what's going on with Teyla and Aiden without creating a big scene, and John just finds himself drawn into something he never would have dreamed of otherwise.
Teyla stifled another cry. Rodney licked his lips.
John opened his mouth, finding it hard to get enough air through his nose. He was sweating, even though the air was chilly. He should really look away, because this was kind of weird. He was hard, listening to Teyla and Ford get it on. He was hard staring at Rodney, and he knew that Rodney had to be hard, too. But he just kept looking, and Rodney stared right back at him.
There's this bit of inappropriate sexual arousal, because wow, Rodney's a guy, and even though John's turned on because of the het porn in the background, there's still a sense of connection with Rodney here. So it's inappropriate, but John's not really feeling the urge to make it go away. Or at least that's what I was trying to get across. *g*
Then there was a loud, low grunt. John held his breath as all of the sound died down behind him. Rodney's eyes flicked up past John's shoulder, like he was trying to see what was going on even though it was impossible. John's lungs started to get tight, and he had just decided that the couple had given up when he heard Teyla murmur something. It was such a low sound he shouldn't have heard it at all, except every one of his senses was strained to the limit, searching for the stimulation he was denying himself.
When they suddenly kicked into high gear, panting and moaning like they didn't care about being heard, it felt like somebody had grabbed onto his dick and pulled. Rodney's mouth dropped open, and John could imagine the rush of air that matched his own gasping breaths. John licked his lips. He'd never been so turned on in his life, and only part of it was from hearing Teyla and Ford. Rodney's eyes were locked on his, except for when they flicked down to his lips. It was driving him insane.
And wow, look at that, John has his revelation. Whoo!
Rodney closed his eyes finally, and John took a deep breath. The spell was broken; he could turn away now, close his own eyes and pretend none of this ever happened. He didn't act quickly enough, however, because Rodney had his hand out of the covers now, and was licking his palm.
I wanted to make Rodney complicit in this, so that it wasn't just John getting turned on by his teammates. It's Rodney and John deciding to act on something together, even though they don't touch.
Oh God.
John knew what that meant, knew what Rodney was going to do next, and he couldn't stop watching. Rodney opened his eyes again, and John understood that he wasn't supposed to stop watching. As the blankets started to shift, John had to close his eyes. It was too much. But it wasn't enough.
When he opened his eyes again, Rodney had stopped moving, his eyebrows peaked in that concerned curiosity John remembered from the first time they had met. There was only one thing to do. He lifted his hand to his mouth, wet it quickly, and went to work.
And not only is Rodney complicit, he wants John to be involved. He doesn't want to do this if John doesn't.
Christ, it was so good he almost came at the first touch. But he wanted it to last, he wanted to keep time with Rodney. John panted as he stared across the small space between them. Rodney didn't look worried anymore. His eyes were drifting shut, but he kept forcing them open to look at John. John picked up Rodney's rhythm from the fluttering beat of his blanket, matching it stroke for stroke. It was killing him to stay still and quiet, when he wanted to thrust and moan and let loose.
Um. So anyway, I wanted to get across how putting limits on sex in any way can be exciting. It's like bondage without any physical restraints. Again, there's that dichotomy between what's wanted and what's appropriate, and it creates extra tension, this time in a good way.
He could hear a bed creaking, and he hoped to hell it was Teyla and Ford but he didn't care enough to make sure it wasn't him. It was so fucking good, even though his wrist was aching and his breath was too tight and he thought he might get a cramp in his groin if it went on much longer. Then Rodney's tongue darted out again, and all John could think about was deep wet kisses from masculine lips. He slapped his other fist to his mouth as he came, biting down just a little as he allowed himself a silent scream. Rodney's eyelids dipped as his mouth opened wide, and John swore he could feel the heat in the room crank up another notch. They were coming together, and it was almost as good as being touched. Almost.
So whee! I managed to write John/Rodney porn without them speaking or touching, yet they still had a very definite connection. I was extremely please with that, and it made me consider voyeurism in a new light.
John kept his hand over his mouth as he tried to pull in silent breaths. Blood was pounding through his ears, making it impossible to hear anything but his own pulse. His mouth was so dry his tongue was stuck, and he'd made a mess of his shorts and the fancy blanket.
He was sure Rodney was feeling the very same things, and so help him if another shot of lust didn't hit his cock at the thought. He squeezed it one last time, then wiped his hand on his pants. Rodney was still watching him, looking a little uncertain again. So John smiled. Rodney's lips twitched up, but instead of stopping at that smug little smirk he was expecting, they lifted into a full grin. John almost laughed, but he remembered that he was trying to be quiet.
I could have gone the angst route here--"OMG, now that our dicks aren't taking over our brains, what have we done?"--but I really wanted this to be a beginning for them. And Rodney's never good at hiding what he's feeling, which is pure delight and satisfaction at what they've done.
Then a snore cut through the night.
Can't forget about the other half of the team. My only quibble with this is that it seemed a little too sudden for Ford to fall asleep, but hey, Alien!drugs or something. Mostly I just wanted the funny, something to lighten the tension even more, and give John the ability to physically relax.
John snickered, keeping it contained behind his hand. He hoped Ford had gotten business done before he had fallen asleep, or John wouldn't be surprised if he was missing a second in command come morning. Rodney was still grinning, though his eyelids were drooping. John felt on top of the world. As sleep started to overtake him, he pushed his arm out from under the covers, stretching into the space between the beds.
When Rodney's fingers brushed his own, he decided that maybe he'd only make Ford clean the toilets.
Yes, I'm a big ol' sap. This finger-brushing accomplished a lot of things in my mind. One, it set them up for a continued relationship. Two, it was a final, definite way of saying that it wasn't a misunderstanding, that John and Rodney both knew what they were doing and that they wanted it. And three, that tiny physical connection is so much more weighty because there was a complete absence of touch while they were getting off. Sex doesn't have to involve emotion--but by sharing a completely asexual touch, they're showing each other that it did.
I wrote this story completely off the cuff in about two or three hours. I shipped it off to bluestarmuse, who reassured me that it was passably interesting. ;) In other words, I know that it lacks a little in grammar and elegance of prose. But over all I'm very satisfied with the story, because I managed to really do something different with a first time sex story.
I said in the fic in review meme that I'm not sure if hardcore McKay/Sheppard shippers have bothered to read the story because of the mention of Teyla/Aiden. Honestly, I think the het pairing is pretty much transparent in this story, more of a device than anything. Whether that's good writing or bad, I don't know, but it was my intent. Tastes vary, though, so I realize people might just want McKay/Sheppard, pure and undiluted.
Hmm. Is there anything you want to know about this story? There's not a lot of story there, but I'm willing to talk about it all day long.
Wow. I really want to do this one, because it was so well received and it's one of my very favorites. But it was written so long ago that I can barely remember anything about it.
The story was prompted by the voyeur challenge on sga_flashfic. At the time, I had been mired in working on Gifts, and it wasn't looking like I was going to be finished with it any time soon. I was feeling a real urge to write something else, to get something else out there to share with people, so that I could keep my excitement going as I worked on my personal epic. Flashfic seemed the perfect place to do that, but voyeurism doesn't usually do much for me.
Or so I thought. *g*
I had planned to write something rather metaphorical, twisting the meaning of voyeur in some way that wasn't sexual. But then I got this flash of an idea--what if the team was involved somehow, and they couldn't let each other know?
One minute John was sleeping the sleep of the blissfully unaware, the next he was wide awake, trying to make out the source of the muffled noises nearby. He slid his hand slowly out from beneath the heavy blanket, ready to grab his gun if he needed to.
That was when Teyla moaned.
Actually, it wasn't really a moan, or he might have assumed that she was in pain. It was more of a high-pitched gasping for breath, abruptly cut off and clearly not an unhappy sound. John clenched his hand around the softness of the blanket, wondering what the hell was going on. Was she...and his brain sort of shorted out at the idea that Teyla might be touching herself, in the same room as the three of them. Nothing could stop his hard-on after that thought. Suddenly the blanket was much too warm, but he didn't want to move it aside, didn't want to make any noise that might alert her to his awareness.
I wanted to start with Teyla, because it would be the most natural for a guy who thought of himself as heterosexual to be both protective at first and then curious and aroused when he hears a woman moaning. And I do go with the idea that John was attracted to Teyla when they first met in Rising--he might have buried it under professionalism, but it would be kind of hard to ignore in the middle of the night with her sexuality practically in his face.
Then someone else grunted. Very definitely a male someone else. He stared upwards, toward the blackness of the ceiling beams, swallowing at the graphic images his mind's eye was providing. Who was it? Was it one of the villagers? He'd never known Teyla to take a lover among their trading partners before, but then again, as the sound of more heavy breathing forced its way into his ears, he was beginning to think he didn't know Teyla very well at all. John slowly turned his head to the right, where Teyla's bed lay along the far side of the hut. He could just make out movement in the shadows.
He could also tell that the bed between hers and his own was empty. Christ, Teyla and Ford were getting it on.
I made a little leap there. I have no idea why Teyla and Ford would go so far as to have sex in the same room as their team mates. I don't really ship Teyla and Ford, except for thinking that Ford might have a little thing for Teyla, and thinking that she thinks he's cute. But I needed them to be occupied, and needed them to be doing something naughty, so that I could get John and Rodney interacting. Maybe it was good old-fashioned Aliens Made Them Do It, with something slipped into their dinner. Who knows? I think it works well enough that it doesn't break the story, though.
He wanted to flop over onto his side and huff in irritation, but now he really, really didn't want to draw attention to himself. No, he didn't want them to know he knew-not until the moment when he killed Ford. Because damn it, this was definitely one of those things you were not supposed to do. Sleeping with teammates was a big no-no. Doing it where your other teammates could hear was just dumb.
Not to mention a little cruel. The little thump that might have been bodies shifting against the muffling bedding just reinforced the thought.
*g* I wanted to bring out the conflicting emotions and thoughts that human beings have regarding sex and propriety in this story. So this whole passage is about John thinking about what the right thing is, and the consequences of Teyla and Ford's action, and being pissed about that, while still having this whole jumble of jealousy and arousal and need. What I enjoy about writing John is that I think that he's pretty self-aware, even though he hides a lot of stuff, so I could let him think those thoughts and acknowledge the humor and contradiction and just plain absurdity of the situation.
Oh, yeah. He was definitely going to kill Ford. After John made him clean all of Atlantis, starting with the used Petri dishes in the bio labs.
And what the hell was Teyla thinking? He really thought she had more common sense. John started the slow process of shifting silently onto his left side as another breathy squeak came from his right. He ignored the petty part that was mourning the thing he thought Teyla had for him. A lot of people liked that line. *g* I like it because it reflects John's streak of vanity and competitiveness that we've seen glimpses of over and over again throughout the show. He's a sweet, caring, heroic guy, but he's not without ego!
The rest of his brain reminded his ego that it wasn't right to think about his teammates that way.
Too bad his dick wasn't getting the message.
He finally eased into a somewhat comfortable position, letting out a slow, careful breath. That was when he noticed Rodney. Rodney's bed was less than two feet away from his own, and John could see his eyes wide open, the pale blue reflecting moonlight like a mirror. Belatedly he realized that the covers had been shifting in a very tell-tale way until Rodney had noticed him watching. Damn. The breathing behind him seemed even louder, echoing around the small room as he met Rodney's eyes. John should really look away now. He should close his eyes at least, let Rodney get on with what he had been doing. Except then every single one of his team would be getting some except for himself, and that just wasn't fair.
And there is discovery. They're both aware of what's going on on the other side of the room, and they're both having the same reaction. And now they both know it. Normally, this would be a moment of embarrasment followed by pretending nothing had happened. But it's the middle of the night, and they can't do anything about what's going on with Teyla and Aiden without creating a big scene, and John just finds himself drawn into something he never would have dreamed of otherwise.
Teyla stifled another cry. Rodney licked his lips.
John opened his mouth, finding it hard to get enough air through his nose. He was sweating, even though the air was chilly. He should really look away, because this was kind of weird. He was hard, listening to Teyla and Ford get it on. He was hard staring at Rodney, and he knew that Rodney had to be hard, too. But he just kept looking, and Rodney stared right back at him.
There's this bit of inappropriate sexual arousal, because wow, Rodney's a guy, and even though John's turned on because of the het porn in the background, there's still a sense of connection with Rodney here. So it's inappropriate, but John's not really feeling the urge to make it go away. Or at least that's what I was trying to get across. *g*
Then there was a loud, low grunt. John held his breath as all of the sound died down behind him. Rodney's eyes flicked up past John's shoulder, like he was trying to see what was going on even though it was impossible. John's lungs started to get tight, and he had just decided that the couple had given up when he heard Teyla murmur something. It was such a low sound he shouldn't have heard it at all, except every one of his senses was strained to the limit, searching for the stimulation he was denying himself.
When they suddenly kicked into high gear, panting and moaning like they didn't care about being heard, it felt like somebody had grabbed onto his dick and pulled. Rodney's mouth dropped open, and John could imagine the rush of air that matched his own gasping breaths. John licked his lips. He'd never been so turned on in his life, and only part of it was from hearing Teyla and Ford. Rodney's eyes were locked on his, except for when they flicked down to his lips. It was driving him insane.
And wow, look at that, John has his revelation. Whoo!
Rodney closed his eyes finally, and John took a deep breath. The spell was broken; he could turn away now, close his own eyes and pretend none of this ever happened. He didn't act quickly enough, however, because Rodney had his hand out of the covers now, and was licking his palm.
I wanted to make Rodney complicit in this, so that it wasn't just John getting turned on by his teammates. It's Rodney and John deciding to act on something together, even though they don't touch.
Oh God.
John knew what that meant, knew what Rodney was going to do next, and he couldn't stop watching. Rodney opened his eyes again, and John understood that he wasn't supposed to stop watching. As the blankets started to shift, John had to close his eyes. It was too much. But it wasn't enough.
When he opened his eyes again, Rodney had stopped moving, his eyebrows peaked in that concerned curiosity John remembered from the first time they had met. There was only one thing to do. He lifted his hand to his mouth, wet it quickly, and went to work.
And not only is Rodney complicit, he wants John to be involved. He doesn't want to do this if John doesn't.
Christ, it was so good he almost came at the first touch. But he wanted it to last, he wanted to keep time with Rodney. John panted as he stared across the small space between them. Rodney didn't look worried anymore. His eyes were drifting shut, but he kept forcing them open to look at John. John picked up Rodney's rhythm from the fluttering beat of his blanket, matching it stroke for stroke. It was killing him to stay still and quiet, when he wanted to thrust and moan and let loose.
Um. So anyway, I wanted to get across how putting limits on sex in any way can be exciting. It's like bondage without any physical restraints. Again, there's that dichotomy between what's wanted and what's appropriate, and it creates extra tension, this time in a good way.
He could hear a bed creaking, and he hoped to hell it was Teyla and Ford but he didn't care enough to make sure it wasn't him. It was so fucking good, even though his wrist was aching and his breath was too tight and he thought he might get a cramp in his groin if it went on much longer. Then Rodney's tongue darted out again, and all John could think about was deep wet kisses from masculine lips. He slapped his other fist to his mouth as he came, biting down just a little as he allowed himself a silent scream. Rodney's eyelids dipped as his mouth opened wide, and John swore he could feel the heat in the room crank up another notch. They were coming together, and it was almost as good as being touched. Almost.
So whee! I managed to write John/Rodney porn without them speaking or touching, yet they still had a very definite connection. I was extremely please with that, and it made me consider voyeurism in a new light.
John kept his hand over his mouth as he tried to pull in silent breaths. Blood was pounding through his ears, making it impossible to hear anything but his own pulse. His mouth was so dry his tongue was stuck, and he'd made a mess of his shorts and the fancy blanket.
He was sure Rodney was feeling the very same things, and so help him if another shot of lust didn't hit his cock at the thought. He squeezed it one last time, then wiped his hand on his pants. Rodney was still watching him, looking a little uncertain again. So John smiled. Rodney's lips twitched up, but instead of stopping at that smug little smirk he was expecting, they lifted into a full grin. John almost laughed, but he remembered that he was trying to be quiet.
I could have gone the angst route here--"OMG, now that our dicks aren't taking over our brains, what have we done?"--but I really wanted this to be a beginning for them. And Rodney's never good at hiding what he's feeling, which is pure delight and satisfaction at what they've done.
Then a snore cut through the night.
Can't forget about the other half of the team. My only quibble with this is that it seemed a little too sudden for Ford to fall asleep, but hey, Alien!drugs or something. Mostly I just wanted the funny, something to lighten the tension even more, and give John the ability to physically relax.
John snickered, keeping it contained behind his hand. He hoped Ford had gotten business done before he had fallen asleep, or John wouldn't be surprised if he was missing a second in command come morning. Rodney was still grinning, though his eyelids were drooping. John felt on top of the world. As sleep started to overtake him, he pushed his arm out from under the covers, stretching into the space between the beds.
When Rodney's fingers brushed his own, he decided that maybe he'd only make Ford clean the toilets.
Yes, I'm a big ol' sap. This finger-brushing accomplished a lot of things in my mind. One, it set them up for a continued relationship. Two, it was a final, definite way of saying that it wasn't a misunderstanding, that John and Rodney both knew what they were doing and that they wanted it. And three, that tiny physical connection is so much more weighty because there was a complete absence of touch while they were getting off. Sex doesn't have to involve emotion--but by sharing a completely asexual touch, they're showing each other that it did.
I wrote this story completely off the cuff in about two or three hours. I shipped it off to bluestarmuse, who reassured me that it was passably interesting. ;) In other words, I know that it lacks a little in grammar and elegance of prose. But over all I'm very satisfied with the story, because I managed to really do something different with a first time sex story.
I said in the fic in review meme that I'm not sure if hardcore McKay/Sheppard shippers have bothered to read the story because of the mention of Teyla/Aiden. Honestly, I think the het pairing is pretty much transparent in this story, more of a device than anything. Whether that's good writing or bad, I don't know, but it was my intent. Tastes vary, though, so I realize people might just want McKay/Sheppard, pure and undiluted.
Hmm. Is there anything you want to know about this story? There's not a lot of story there, but I'm willing to talk about it all day long.