FanFic: One Step At A Time
Chapter 1 - A quiet room
Everything was happening so fast. In less than forty-eight hours his world was turned upside down and there was nothing he could do about it. He fought against the sadness and fear threatening to cripple limbs and voice. Silent cries shook bones and left his throat sore. He wanted to make sense of it, to understand what was happening around him. How did it get here? Two days ago they were winning. Thanks to the help of Steffano they had Nick just where they wanted him; backed in a corner with nowhere to go. Checkmate. But they hadn't known about Vargas. They failed to realize that Nick was already a trapped dog ready to gnaw his own leg off.
The sounds of a busy hospital filtered through an open door as a nurse passed through the room. His eyes following her movement from one door to the next, almost sighing with relief that she did not stop to talk to him. He'd had enough bad news to last him a life time. All he wanted now was the quiet; but even that wouldn't last long. He would have to get up from the bench; he would have to leave the room; he would have to try and go on with his life.
Everything had gone according to plan. All the roles had been played to perfection. Then it all fell apart. Nick dealt a card that no one saw coming and dragged everyone down with him. In one swoop he lost a husband, lover, a best friend. A mother and father had to say goodbye to their son and he could do nothing but watch and pray that it was a dream. It didn't matter if he woke up screaming or drenched in sweat; as long as the person he loved most in the world was there to hold him and assure him that it wasn't real.
The door opened once again; exposing him to the sounds of a gurney being wheeled down the hall and a woman crying as she follows behind. When the door closes it shuts them all out again; shielding him from a reality that waits patiently.
"Sir are you ok? Can I help you with anything?" The nurse stood before his bowed head. Concern masking her features as she asked the question with a smile.
"I'm ok. Just waiting." He says while slowing lifting his head. The overhead light sends spots swimming before his vision.
"Are you sure? Is there someone I could call?" The spots obscure her face and make his head spin. The room spins with him and he feels the slow rise of bile in his throat. A sharp gulp of air prevents him from throwing up. "You sure you're ok?"
It takes him awhile to answer. He wasn't ok. He was bruised and lost. "Yes. I'm fine. I just need to wait. I was told to wait here." She smiles and nods a farewell before leaving him alone. The soft click of the door closing echoes through the room and reminds him of why he was sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting area. The thought of what was beyond that door scared him. How will he handle it? The life he pictured was locked behind one door and a blank canvas awaited him behind another.
He looks down at the platinum band circling the ring finger on his left hand. It wasn't even old enough to leave a mark; no tan line beneath it. One week. That was all he got. One week of being a husband to the most amazing guy. One week of using that word over and over -husband. One week to get use to this band on his finger. He laughed at the memory that EJ had been the one to suggest they get married. A suggestion that was followed by the most awkward proposal.
"So what do you…ahm think…should…we?" The words leave Will's lips before he even has a chance to think about what he was saying. They are smiling at each other; no grinning was more like it.
Sonny takes Will's hand in his. "Only if you want to…I mean…it would probably help."
"I don't want to do it just because it will help." Their fingers intertwine. "I want to do it because I love you and…I can't believe we are even having this conversation." They both laugh, neither one breaking eye contact.
"I love you too Will. But you said you weren't sure this was something you would ever want." Sonny thinks back to their conversation in the Town Square.
Will sighs, his own words echoing in his head. "Sonny, I'm not taking this lightly. And back then I had never been in love, I couldn't picture wanting to take that journey with someone."
"And now?" Sonny eagerly waiting for his answer.
Will moves closer, run his hand through Sonny's hair then pulls him into a kiss. "And now; I can't wait to go on that journey with you." Will repeats the kiss; this time making sure Sonny knew exactly what he wants.
"So are you getting married or not?" They both laugh, startled by the question, having forgotten that EJ was still in the room.
His laughter dies away and the white walls of the room returns. The ring feels heavy on his finger and he wonders if he can keep the promises he made. Would anyone blame him if he didn't?
A door opens again and this time it's the one that scares him. A nurse emerges through the opening with a smile on her face; she is followed by another nurse, then another. Despite the smiles on their faces, he can see the concern and pity. As if they are saying 'poor you, how will you carry on'. They know his story, at least the sad parts of it - the parts that caused him to be sitting alone in a hospital waiting room.
"Mr. Kiriakis. Here you go." Sonny stands up and opens his arms to receive Will's daughter. She is so small and barely feels like anything in his arms. She is swaddled in a pink and green blanket, eyes closed and resting softly against him. The wedding band burns his finger, reminding him of the promises he made to Will. He looks down at her; she looks so much like her dad that it takes his breath away and forces him to fight back emotions that threaten to weaken him. "She is freshly changed and fed, so she should be good for another couple of hours."
"We packed a bag for you. There is enough formula, diapers, wipes and onesies to last three days." He looks up from the little girl at the ladies standing before him; one of them holding out a bad to him. On instinct he takes it and places it over his shoulder, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby.
"We are so sorry about everything that happened. Good Luck."
"Thank you." Slowly they leave him in the quiet room with a sleeping baby. A baby that he had no business taking care off, but he had promised Will.
How was he going to do this? Will was wrong to leave his child with him. Sonny looks down again at the sleeping baby and feels completely helpless - which is pretty much how he has felt for the last two days. He couldn't do this. He had never changed a diaper or fed a baby before. Sami was right he was crazy for taking this on. Will's baby should be with her not some guy who was married to her father for one week. He would just find Sami and tell her he couldn't do it. That's what she wanted anyway. Sonny knew she was right outside, waiting for him to come out of this room with her grandchild. All he had to do was walk through that door and hand the baby over to her, it was that simple, and then maybe he could find a way to go on with his life.
"You're going to be fine. Trust me." Sonny almost jumps out of his skin at the sight of Will standing beside him, gently caressing his daughter's head. "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't think you could do it."
It only takes a second for him to calm down. It was Will, his Will and what better place to have him than by his side. "Will, I don't even have a car seat or crib."
"Then you will get one, there is still time." Will flashes a smile that he knows Sonny can never resist. He can't help smiling back at Will. It feels so good to see him, to have him so close. This is what Will had wanted, both of them together raising this little girl.
"Will, I can't do this without you." He leans his forehead against Will's and breathes in that familiar scent.
"Sonny you are the strongest person I know. You can do this. One step at a time. And who says you are alone? I'll be right here with you." Will places a soft kiss on his lips.
"But Sami…" He is cut off before he can finish the plea.
"Do you really want my mother raising our daughter? She would be as messed up as I was." They both laugh. "I love you Sonny."
"I love you too Will."
His eyes drift back to the baby and he thinks maybe he could do this; for Will's sake. "She really does have your nose." He says with a smile and looks up, expecting Will's returned smile but finding nothing but an empty space. He felt the loss of Will all over again, but this time he had hope. Hope that he would see Will again.
"Alright Arianna. I guess it's you and me. " He smiles at her for the first time suddenly knowing that with this baby in his life he would see Will every day. "Ok, one step at a time. One baby step at a time."
To be continued….
The story of what happened with Nick, Gabi, Will etc will unfold in the coming chapters. Comments are welcomed, I would love to know what you think. Should I continue with this story or don't even bother? Let me know.