(no subject)

May 01, 2006 01:56

I feel like I'm in high school, lol. I am just so girly-crush over this man, it's sickening. I get butterflies in my stomach when he calls, and when I see his face it just makes things better. I really didn't even think I was going to like him, but I gave it a chance...and I am SO glad I did. He is the greatest thing that's happened to me and Ashton in a long time. He plays with Ashton for hours, and talks about how he is going to take him fishing and camping and how he is going to fix up his first car with him. It makes me melt. It's hard for someone to understand unless you are a single parent, what it does to you when someone steps up and fills the shoes of a step parent. Ashton might as well not even have a Dad, so for Art to even act the way he does towards him makes me feel so good. It's been a month since we have seen Eli, and 3 weeks since we have heard from him. I know he is not staying with that one girl anymore, but I'm sure he's moved on to another one. It feels so strange to not care about him on that level anymore. To not even flinch at the thought of him being with another girl. In all honesty, I hope he finds a decent woman who will make him realize that he NEEDS TO BE A GODDAMN FATHER TO HIS SON. And I hope she will be good to him too, like Art is to Ashton. If not, that's okay too. I talked to Eli's mom on the phone a couple times, and she claims that she has not heard from him either. She "cannot believe" that he has not saw his son in a month, but I can. I told her that he is just tired of being a daddy, and it's time to move on to funner shit. Not that he ever was a real fucking daddy anyway. Hard to be someone's dad when you're always in jail. Bastard. I think that I will be with Art for a long time to come....or hell, atleast I hope so. He is so not my type, and maybe that's what really attracts me to him. He's so country...but fuck IT'S SEXY. Hell yeah it is. He stayed the night last night and Dustin and my sister came over for a little bit and drank a few beers, then they went home. It feels so right laying next to him. Shit, I just really like this boy. Hopefully it's not just a rebound thing...and even if it is, I'm having a damn good time doing it!
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