mommys little dancer
its been down and out recently. cant sleep. i only drink, its temporary solution to a depressed conscience. i stay up reading wikipedia. ask me something A-Z, any peticular detail youre interested in? how about the world? the moon and acidity in the back of our throats? the ocean shells? - lets talk about it.
i feel terrible.i lead people on.and i dont have the balls to tell people otherwise so i stay on the outside of situations and suffer. and make them suffer because they have NO idea how i work. im complex. i am broke. i am lonely. im sick. confused. oblivious maybe? ive been drinking free beer at the leisure of others. thank lord for kindness and friends willing to share their alcholic supply with a friend in need.
yesterday jen, ian and i went to a party some guy invited me to.
i invited some friends and they were like kicked out.because they are too scene. if they were all girls im sure it wouldnt have been a problem. fuck that.
ive been drunk for probably the last 5 days and that is pathetic. its come to the point where i dont want to be around people. like i said once, ill repeat. OVERWHELMED. i get like this alot and end up hurting peoples feelings. close friends can account for that. i dont think i have ever recieved this much attention ever. but i can barely taste it. i think this attention needs to be sadly overlooked. such a characteric curve to my normality i know. but its a waste of my energy because i think it is fake, insincere and unworthy of my time. boys im not half as beautiful as you might think. so unless you want a girl who will keep you up all nite talking about tomorrow morning and how to pronounce words. fuck off. because that is beauty.
with that said im walking to southside. i need my camera. i need escape. i need to be by myself. familiar faces are good, but before i can be around people i need to be able to wake up and be satisfied looking at myself again.
mannnnn i just need out. i want things to be fucking simple and real. simple and real.
i could hitch a ride out of town, go to south dakota and sell watermelons on the side of the road.
im getting married to music( and anna) and then there would be fewer questions.
i feel terrible.i lead people on.and i dont have the balls to tell people otherwise so i stay on the outside of situations and suffer. and make them suffer because they have NO idea how i work. im complex. i am broke. i am lonely. im sick. confused. oblivious maybe? ive been drinking free beer at the leisure of others. thank lord for kindness and friends willing to share their alcholic supply with a friend in need.
yesterday jen, ian and i went to a party some guy invited me to.
i invited some friends and they were like kicked out.because they are too scene. if they were all girls im sure it wouldnt have been a problem. fuck that.
ive been drunk for probably the last 5 days and that is pathetic. its come to the point where i dont want to be around people. like i said once, ill repeat. OVERWHELMED. i get like this alot and end up hurting peoples feelings. close friends can account for that. i dont think i have ever recieved this much attention ever. but i can barely taste it. i think this attention needs to be sadly overlooked. such a characteric curve to my normality i know. but its a waste of my energy because i think it is fake, insincere and unworthy of my time. boys im not half as beautiful as you might think. so unless you want a girl who will keep you up all nite talking about tomorrow morning and how to pronounce words. fuck off. because that is beauty.
with that said im walking to southside. i need my camera. i need escape. i need to be by myself. familiar faces are good, but before i can be around people i need to be able to wake up and be satisfied looking at myself again.
mannnnn i just need out. i want things to be fucking simple and real. simple and real.
i could hitch a ride out of town, go to south dakota and sell watermelons on the side of the road.
im getting married to music( and anna) and then there would be fewer questions.