becasue im broken...
so, i dont really know where to begin, how to describe the past 72 hours or so..
survived the hurricane
got kicked out of my house,
stayed w/ mario for 2 days (beast and jon too)
came back home
in the process of dropping out of fiu
and i dont know if i have a job anymore.
i gave up parts of my family this weekend, theres trust lost between both parties that is never to be regained, although im not so sure it was there in the first place.
i love mario so much, i think he is the greatest person i have ever met, the best friend i have ever had, and i dont know, i just hope we never loose our friendship becasue i really dont know what i would do if he wasnt there. i think hes the reason i have stayed in this place as long as i have, he is the one who keeps me somewhat sane.
a good friend of mine told me that going away for a while, away from everything he knew for a couple of days when life itself got really hard, was the best thing that ever happened to him..and i cant stop thinking that going away is the best solution, but at the same time is leaving solving anything, or is it just running away from my problems and inconviences? i dont want to just leave for a couple of days though, i'd like to leave indefinately if at all possible.
mario told me to move out with him, come december or so, and as much as i want to, as much as i know that hes the only person i could see myself living with, without getting annoyed, i dont see it happening. in the end, i dont see him actully wanting to live with me.
i talked to george today for a little while, i was supposed to talk to him tonight but looks like that didnt turn out as planned. its been tow weeks today that were broken up, and i miss him alot. and its getting harder every day. and i keep singing that damn fata song, or just that lyric..
"for as much as i love autumn, im giving myself to ashes."
its lame i know, spare me the comments.
everything is just so confusing right now, its never gotten to this point before where i am really just unable to make any sort of definate decsion without looking at the downside, the pessimistic points.
then again, maybe its just these past few days catching up with me.
im not going to see bleeding through, mario is going to have to work. but their coming to orlando in november, so maybe i'll be able to swing that show. hopefully.
mario came over tonight after his orientation, we watched this show, "Dog the Bounty Hunter" he seemed to like it. i dont know, things were kinda wierd..maybe its just me.
*the fastest served ball in tennis was clocked at 154 miles an hour in 1963.*
survived the hurricane
got kicked out of my house,
stayed w/ mario for 2 days (beast and jon too)
came back home
in the process of dropping out of fiu
and i dont know if i have a job anymore.
i gave up parts of my family this weekend, theres trust lost between both parties that is never to be regained, although im not so sure it was there in the first place.
i love mario so much, i think he is the greatest person i have ever met, the best friend i have ever had, and i dont know, i just hope we never loose our friendship becasue i really dont know what i would do if he wasnt there. i think hes the reason i have stayed in this place as long as i have, he is the one who keeps me somewhat sane.
a good friend of mine told me that going away for a while, away from everything he knew for a couple of days when life itself got really hard, was the best thing that ever happened to him..and i cant stop thinking that going away is the best solution, but at the same time is leaving solving anything, or is it just running away from my problems and inconviences? i dont want to just leave for a couple of days though, i'd like to leave indefinately if at all possible.
mario told me to move out with him, come december or so, and as much as i want to, as much as i know that hes the only person i could see myself living with, without getting annoyed, i dont see it happening. in the end, i dont see him actully wanting to live with me.
i talked to george today for a little while, i was supposed to talk to him tonight but looks like that didnt turn out as planned. its been tow weeks today that were broken up, and i miss him alot. and its getting harder every day. and i keep singing that damn fata song, or just that lyric..
"for as much as i love autumn, im giving myself to ashes."
its lame i know, spare me the comments.
everything is just so confusing right now, its never gotten to this point before where i am really just unable to make any sort of definate decsion without looking at the downside, the pessimistic points.
then again, maybe its just these past few days catching up with me.
im not going to see bleeding through, mario is going to have to work. but their coming to orlando in november, so maybe i'll be able to swing that show. hopefully.
mario came over tonight after his orientation, we watched this show, "Dog the Bounty Hunter" he seemed to like it. i dont know, things were kinda wierd..maybe its just me.
*the fastest served ball in tennis was clocked at 154 miles an hour in 1963.*