-love each other or perish - [public]
so that's lately.
i don't know about you, but the past few days have felt like summer to me. it could be the fact that it's like 80 degrees outside, or that i was wasted during the middle of the day yesterday-who knows- but i like it.
these past few years have felt like lifetimes, and there is no exaggeration in that. i have known enough people to populate a small island, and yet i only have a handful of friends. the truth is this: you start out in the same place with people but everyone takes a different path. there have been many people whom i thought i was born to be with, whom i thought i would fight every battle with the for the rest of our crossed lives. you never really say goodbye to these people. they just fade away. i don't blame anyone though, nor will i say that i am guilty of changing, though i have changed. there is no guilt involved. i am proud of who i have become and the aching fear that i have left behind. nobody will convince me of feeling otherwise. i just feel remorse for the ones who have changed for the wose, and the selves that they have left behind. it is really painful to watch the ones you love, the brilliant stars you thought would one day change the world as they had changed your life, burnt out.
i was talking the other day and said something that i don't think i fully realized until, after the words came out
the people in our lives make us who we are today, and who we were yesterday. if we were expected to always need the people we needed yesterday, we'd still be that person we were yeterday.
or something to that effect, when i said it the first time it was much more clear.
having said that, i need to say this. i don't have the energy to fight this anymore. i don't have the energy to remember why i have reservations with this person, or why i don't confide in that one. i'm aching for that time when life was so simple and all that mattered was the next time we were going to be together. so here we go :
The slate is clean. I'm letting all things go, and all grudges go. From now on, it's just us. I've wasted so much energy on being angry, and being hostile that my life just seems so negative. Anyways, I love you all for life.
ps. i passed the first part of my real estate test with flying colors, wee!
EDIT :
Do this!
Ask me a question about each of the following:
1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Drugs
5. Love
6. LiveJournal
No matter how rude, sexual, or confidential.