I am a bad person.

[shesellseashell]

Tonight I feel bad. I spent most of it with my favorite couple which I liked alot. I feel bad for envying them. But they are just so damn cute and good for each other. I don't know why I don't have that.....Yes I do. I don't allow myself to have it. I'm selfish and a bitch about so many things to some many people. I ruin things and mess with people's heads and say mean things to those who I care about immensely. I don't hear my phone and I forget plans and I make bad choices. I try to make myself feel better, even though in the end I know I will feel worse. I fall into patterns and thrive on normalcy. Then I wish and hope for spontaneity and adventure. I get mad and express myself by yelling and wanting to punch someone. (Good thing I am a wimp and never actually get the guts to take a swing.)I ask for people's advice and then don't listen to it. I want everything and nothing at the same time.

Even though the beginning was good, I'm having a really bad night. Call me.

ps- I am stressed out.