(no subject)
I have to make this entry in order to avoid detention.
[Filtered Private to Self]
This is positively horrible. I've no idea how- It doesn't feel real. I'm so distraught. Mother, she is - was. How am I going to go on? I don't have any idea. It's just Uncle and myself, now.
She's... she's dead, and I never even got to say a proper goodbye. I just kissed her on the cheek, and told her she could do with less rouge. I was so - oh god. What if, when they, she was wearing too much, and that's how she leaves this world, looking like a cheap French prostitute? Oh, dear lord. I never even let her borrow my earrings. I'm so horrid. I mean, they were brand new; it would be insane to do. But now, I wish -
I'm such a horrible person! I'm in such a state of despair. My mother, she's gone, and -
I love her. I haven't a clue what to do now. I'm trying to be strong, to not cry, so that I don't muss my mascara, but I just...
This is unreal. She would tell me that I looked a fright, and shouldn't even leave my bedroom like this. She'd be right. I need to pull myself together. She was so beautiful, and so wise.
And now.
I'm going through such a hard time right now. No one could understand.
It's just so.
[/End Filter]
[Filtered: Private to Samuel Capper]
Sammy.
[/End Filter]
[Filtered Private to Self]
This is positively horrible. I've no idea how- It doesn't feel real. I'm so distraught. Mother, she is - was. How am I going to go on? I don't have any idea. It's just Uncle and myself, now.
She's... she's dead, and I never even got to say a proper goodbye. I just kissed her on the cheek, and told her she could do with less rouge. I was so - oh god. What if, when they, she was wearing too much, and that's how she leaves this world, looking like a cheap French prostitute? Oh, dear lord. I never even let her borrow my earrings. I'm so horrid. I mean, they were brand new; it would be insane to do. But now, I wish -
I'm such a horrible person! I'm in such a state of despair. My mother, she's gone, and -
I love her. I haven't a clue what to do now. I'm trying to be strong, to not cry, so that I don't muss my mascara, but I just...
This is unreal. She would tell me that I looked a fright, and shouldn't even leave my bedroom like this. She'd be right. I need to pull myself together. She was so beautiful, and so wise.
And now.
I'm going through such a hard time right now. No one could understand.
It's just so.
[/End Filter]
[Filtered: Private to Samuel Capper]
Sammy.
[/End Filter]