so this is growing up
its finally about to happen. im going to live in an apartment. completely independent from friends giving me a place to stay, from family helping me with free rent. moving at the end of this month. i think living between najdas and kyles just gave me more motivation to live in my own place.
where i can decorate it how i like. where i can do what i want. where i can have anyone i please over and not give a damn who. ill beliving off 17th and simms. so its really not that far away. thats where my tax money will be going to. the money i make at work will be put away in savings and go for the rest of my needs. including furniture since im lacking bigtime on that one.
as far as the boy situation. im starting to get over it. i do love him to death. but trying to focus on someone else all the time AND keep my life going is completely draining mentally and physically. we're not together. we're just whatever. and im ok with that, but then im not. i need confirmation with him ALL OF THE TIME. and since i probably am too chicken shit to see what the deal is? instead i will just grin and bare it. i guess im also ok with being in a "its complicated"relationship. he's one of my best friends. someone who i can always talk to and rely on, same goes for him. and whatever WE are. is happy. thats satisfying enough. he has his own life to deal with and so im just going to go with the flow. seems to be the neautral thing to do now a days. im done trying to force shit. dead ends are dead ends. i have wierd thoughts i know.
anyways. my life is going all right now. thanks to me.
im surprised and proud of myself.
off for another day of work.
where i can decorate it how i like. where i can do what i want. where i can have anyone i please over and not give a damn who. ill beliving off 17th and simms. so its really not that far away. thats where my tax money will be going to. the money i make at work will be put away in savings and go for the rest of my needs. including furniture since im lacking bigtime on that one.
as far as the boy situation. im starting to get over it. i do love him to death. but trying to focus on someone else all the time AND keep my life going is completely draining mentally and physically. we're not together. we're just whatever. and im ok with that, but then im not. i need confirmation with him ALL OF THE TIME. and since i probably am too chicken shit to see what the deal is? instead i will just grin and bare it. i guess im also ok with being in a "its complicated"relationship. he's one of my best friends. someone who i can always talk to and rely on, same goes for him. and whatever WE are. is happy. thats satisfying enough. he has his own life to deal with and so im just going to go with the flow. seems to be the neautral thing to do now a days. im done trying to force shit. dead ends are dead ends. i have wierd thoughts i know.
anyways. my life is going all right now. thanks to me.
im surprised and proud of myself.
off for another day of work.