(no subject)
so ps seamus reads my ljs, which i dunno i think is weird bc im more than compleatley honest with him-- like, im not keeping any secrets.
today was my dads bday and i called him 3 times but he never picked up the phone or called back. he
may have been busy but i think its more likely he was screening the calls. for me. b/c he pretty much ahtes talking to me. whatever.
ugh dudes im so fucking lonely. i just wish i could start my life over and im only fucking 22. ps i feel so fucking old. b/c of the age but also b/c i just feel like a piece of crap. im at seamus's and hes asleep and im sure his pissed about my last entry but dude its how i feel. i dont want to break up with him bc we havent run our course but i dunno i feel like theres v little room for me to grow. ugh i cant even write in here bc hell read. seamus baby i love you just an fyi but i wish i could have this space for me and my friends and my secrets. id never do anything to hurt you im not like that so just trust me ok?
i think im gonna start another account and not update it here.
its 435 and im barely even tired. wtf is wrong with me? seriously all i want to do is cry pretty much all the time. im so frsutrated and lonely. s, if yer gonna read my ljs, talk to me about it. ask me why im feeling lonely or why im depressed. your reaching out to me in this werid way-- bc you want to know what im thinkning or saying about you. i feel lonely, im scared about being nothing, im depressed and often suicidaland im worried about us but more than that im really worried about me. am i gonna be depressed and unmotivated my whole life? i want to be something and im scared
i need to be spending more nights alone.
every morning i wake up and i love you and i hate myself.
what do you do to me in the night?
today was my dads bday and i called him 3 times but he never picked up the phone or called back. he
may have been busy but i think its more likely he was screening the calls. for me. b/c he pretty much ahtes talking to me. whatever.
ugh dudes im so fucking lonely. i just wish i could start my life over and im only fucking 22. ps i feel so fucking old. b/c of the age but also b/c i just feel like a piece of crap. im at seamus's and hes asleep and im sure his pissed about my last entry but dude its how i feel. i dont want to break up with him bc we havent run our course but i dunno i feel like theres v little room for me to grow. ugh i cant even write in here bc hell read. seamus baby i love you just an fyi but i wish i could have this space for me and my friends and my secrets. id never do anything to hurt you im not like that so just trust me ok?
i think im gonna start another account and not update it here.
its 435 and im barely even tired. wtf is wrong with me? seriously all i want to do is cry pretty much all the time. im so frsutrated and lonely. s, if yer gonna read my ljs, talk to me about it. ask me why im feeling lonely or why im depressed. your reaching out to me in this werid way-- bc you want to know what im thinkning or saying about you. i feel lonely, im scared about being nothing, im depressed and often suicidaland im worried about us but more than that im really worried about me. am i gonna be depressed and unmotivated my whole life? i want to be something and im scared
i need to be spending more nights alone.
every morning i wake up and i love you and i hate myself.
what do you do to me in the night?