pins and needles.
i never felt so physically and mentally trapped on tuesday night and yesterday.
i went over sarah's moms house because sarah really wanted to spend time with me after our huge fight last week, so i gave in. were driving across the highway and then eric called my cellphone so i answered it on speaker phone then he was like, "hi nikki, i got your fan mail, thanks your a fucking bitch. wheres sarah?" i don't know why he would even think of calling me so i figured he was pretty much asking for it.. i replied back saying, "eric do you understand english or should i translate it into fucking spanish, what part of not talking to me, not looking at me and not having anything to do with me did you not understand?" so turns out eric and sarahs boyfriend were over her moms house so i got see eric but i looked away quick. then he looked at me then whispered something to sarah. so i turned around quick and told him, "eric, don't fucking look at me or else i'd grab your fucking eyeballs out of your head and don't even think of talking about me infront of me, your the one making this whole thing turn really ugly, your the one whos 23 years old and you can't stop talking about me." so i made everyone feel weird, i didn't care. but the fighting didn't stop there no way. sarah and i decided to go into the pool at 2am so david and eric decided to come in with us. then once i walked outside after getting out of the pool eric whispered to david that i looked fat in my bathing suit. so me never letting anyone get the last word in on a fight had say something, i told him that he was just trying to get back at me for saying that he had no dick. so after all that fighting i finally decided that i wasn't going to let that ruin my night with sarah. the boys went home and we just stayed up to watch family guy on dvd.
then yesterday sarah went into the shower so i was talking to her mom. so her mom started talking about a similiar event in her past about child molestation. she said something which i won't repeat it but it made me really want to punch her in the face. i never felt so trapped in my life. i couldn't leave her house since sarah was still in the shower, i couldn't move cause i was having an anxiety attack and i felt so depressed over that comment i couldn't think of anything else but that. so i freaked out told sarah i needed to go wait in the car, so she knew something was up.
today will be a good day.
i went over sarah's moms house because sarah really wanted to spend time with me after our huge fight last week, so i gave in. were driving across the highway and then eric called my cellphone so i answered it on speaker phone then he was like, "hi nikki, i got your fan mail, thanks your a fucking bitch. wheres sarah?" i don't know why he would even think of calling me so i figured he was pretty much asking for it.. i replied back saying, "eric do you understand english or should i translate it into fucking spanish, what part of not talking to me, not looking at me and not having anything to do with me did you not understand?" so turns out eric and sarahs boyfriend were over her moms house so i got see eric but i looked away quick. then he looked at me then whispered something to sarah. so i turned around quick and told him, "eric, don't fucking look at me or else i'd grab your fucking eyeballs out of your head and don't even think of talking about me infront of me, your the one making this whole thing turn really ugly, your the one whos 23 years old and you can't stop talking about me." so i made everyone feel weird, i didn't care. but the fighting didn't stop there no way. sarah and i decided to go into the pool at 2am so david and eric decided to come in with us. then once i walked outside after getting out of the pool eric whispered to david that i looked fat in my bathing suit. so me never letting anyone get the last word in on a fight had say something, i told him that he was just trying to get back at me for saying that he had no dick. so after all that fighting i finally decided that i wasn't going to let that ruin my night with sarah. the boys went home and we just stayed up to watch family guy on dvd.
then yesterday sarah went into the shower so i was talking to her mom. so her mom started talking about a similiar event in her past about child molestation. she said something which i won't repeat it but it made me really want to punch her in the face. i never felt so trapped in my life. i couldn't leave her house since sarah was still in the shower, i couldn't move cause i was having an anxiety attack and i felt so depressed over that comment i couldn't think of anything else but that. so i freaked out told sarah i needed to go wait in the car, so she knew something was up.
today will be a good day.