Don't let yourself get excited
Oh my gosh, I cannot even BEGIN to describe how stressful things have been. So Wednesday or Thursday, Josh came home and told me about how he discovered he could get another bachelor's degree with only a few more credits. So this is worrying me because if he does this: 1) We might not move back to Springfield, 2) If we do move to Springfield, he might stay with someone in Joplin for 3 nights a week every week for a semester, 3) He is thinking about dropping a class now so he doesn't graduate next month, because if he did, he wouldn't get the Pell grant for the other bachelor's degree, 4) I REALLY don't want to stay in Joplin. Also, the stinky thing is, he has to decide by TUESDAY.
I was so excited about moving back, because I want to be close to my family, especially my sister and her family, because I haven't lived in the same town with her since I was 9. Also, I took the substitute teacher job thinking I would only do it for a month or two before we moved back. I don't think that would support me if we stayed here for another year.
Also, other bad things have been happening. While they haven't made a decision about the job interview I had Monday, it looks like they could very possibly hire someone else. There are a couple people they are interviewing for that position that are in house employees that are losing their jobs, and they said they have to consider them first. This makes me SO MAD because I WAS an in house employee and I DID lose my job, so that should give me just as much of a chance as them. ARGGGGH. So I won't know if I get the job until Tuesday, which is stinky because it doesn't help in Josh's decision making process.
Also, MORE bad news. Last night my friend with the house for rent called me and said she told her roommate that she was going to rent the house to us, and her roommate had an emotional breakdown and started crying to her about "Where I am gonna go? I can't go live with my parents again, boo-hoo hoo!!" So now my friend is not sure she wants to kick her out. This makes me SO stinkin mad because she already offered us the house. This roommate is SO FREAKIN immature! Okay, there are so many apartments she can rent in this town, I do not understand what the problem is. Also, she does not need a big house just for herself!! And my friend would still have to pay half of everything even though she won't be living there. So this is so frustrating for me because I was so excited about moving in there, and I really felt like it was a God thing. So she is going to think and pray about it and let us know next week what she is going to do.
I cannot begin to express how stressful this has been, especially in light of the past six months of constant job searching, application filling, resume sending, interviewing, and STILL. NO. PERMANENT. JOB. Also, we have been finding WAY more brown recluses in our house, which is so scary, and once again, on top of EVERYTHING ELSE, is super stressful. I really really really want to move out.
I guess basically to sum up the way I have been feeling is this: it's like, last August we got thrown off of this truck we were riding in because we hit this huge bump which was: losing our jobs. I feel like ever since then we have been running and running and trying so hard to catch up, and sometimes it has been just barely in reach, and I can even touch it with my fingers, and we feel like we are going to get on again, but then we trip and fall and we can never get back on. It has been so emotionally draining for me. I am so tired of not being able to buy allergy medicine because we can't afford it, not being able to buy a new sink stopper because we can't afford it, not being able to buy Josh new shoes that he needs because we can't afford it...I just wonder when is this ever going to end?
But things aren't all bad: Josh's parents came and stayed with us, and they were SO nice...they took us to Wal-mart and said, "Okay, what do you need for groceries?" This was really hard for me, because I feel like we have been accepting help for way too long, but they bought us groceries, so that was EXTREMELY nice and helpful. Also, we just got a tax refund check in the mail which came just at the right time!!! Now we will be able to pay all of our bills. Even though sometimes I feel like God isn't concerned about us, I know He is and He continues to show us in little ways like this.
I was so excited about moving back, because I want to be close to my family, especially my sister and her family, because I haven't lived in the same town with her since I was 9. Also, I took the substitute teacher job thinking I would only do it for a month or two before we moved back. I don't think that would support me if we stayed here for another year.
Also, other bad things have been happening. While they haven't made a decision about the job interview I had Monday, it looks like they could very possibly hire someone else. There are a couple people they are interviewing for that position that are in house employees that are losing their jobs, and they said they have to consider them first. This makes me SO MAD because I WAS an in house employee and I DID lose my job, so that should give me just as much of a chance as them. ARGGGGH. So I won't know if I get the job until Tuesday, which is stinky because it doesn't help in Josh's decision making process.
Also, MORE bad news. Last night my friend with the house for rent called me and said she told her roommate that she was going to rent the house to us, and her roommate had an emotional breakdown and started crying to her about "Where I am gonna go? I can't go live with my parents again, boo-hoo hoo!!" So now my friend is not sure she wants to kick her out. This makes me SO stinkin mad because she already offered us the house. This roommate is SO FREAKIN immature! Okay, there are so many apartments she can rent in this town, I do not understand what the problem is. Also, she does not need a big house just for herself!! And my friend would still have to pay half of everything even though she won't be living there. So this is so frustrating for me because I was so excited about moving in there, and I really felt like it was a God thing. So she is going to think and pray about it and let us know next week what she is going to do.
I cannot begin to express how stressful this has been, especially in light of the past six months of constant job searching, application filling, resume sending, interviewing, and STILL. NO. PERMANENT. JOB. Also, we have been finding WAY more brown recluses in our house, which is so scary, and once again, on top of EVERYTHING ELSE, is super stressful. I really really really want to move out.
I guess basically to sum up the way I have been feeling is this: it's like, last August we got thrown off of this truck we were riding in because we hit this huge bump which was: losing our jobs. I feel like ever since then we have been running and running and trying so hard to catch up, and sometimes it has been just barely in reach, and I can even touch it with my fingers, and we feel like we are going to get on again, but then we trip and fall and we can never get back on. It has been so emotionally draining for me. I am so tired of not being able to buy allergy medicine because we can't afford it, not being able to buy a new sink stopper because we can't afford it, not being able to buy Josh new shoes that he needs because we can't afford it...I just wonder when is this ever going to end?
But things aren't all bad: Josh's parents came and stayed with us, and they were SO nice...they took us to Wal-mart and said, "Okay, what do you need for groceries?" This was really hard for me, because I feel like we have been accepting help for way too long, but they bought us groceries, so that was EXTREMELY nice and helpful. Also, we just got a tax refund check in the mail which came just at the right time!!! Now we will be able to pay all of our bills. Even though sometimes I feel like God isn't concerned about us, I know He is and He continues to show us in little ways like this.