/love - 2/2 (Merlin - R)
Title: /love
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen/Lancelot on the side
Rating: R
Word Count: 13000
Warnings/Spoilers: A wee bit of sex and gratuitous WoW based jokes.
Summary: A response to a kinkme prompt: Arthur/Merlin, World of Warcraft. Arthur and Merlin meet in-game.
Notes: Shameless modern day AU that my beta, halfnorn, put up with for... um however long it took for me to go from level 45 to level 61 with my Dwarf Paladin.
Continued from...
Because he remembered how much he'd enjoyed things last night. That just would not do for a Pendragon. He was supposed to marry some insipid woman like Morgana and be emotionally distant from his children. Not--be gay for some scrawny bookworm whom he met online.
Arthur very slowly and carefully unpeeled Merlin's arm from its spot wrapped around his waist. At the slightest hint of him waking up, Arthur froze up and waited before ever so carefully replacing himself with a pillow to keep Merlin happy and asleep.
It was just a strategic retreat, he told himself. Not at all a cowardly escape.
Right.
Once free he scrambled around the room in a desperate bid to put some freaking clothing on. Nudity wasn't normally such a vulnerable thing for Arthur, but on this occasion it equated about as high as emotional honesty.
He managed to wriggle back into the too tight jeans and throw on whatever shirt he found nearest to them before rushing to grab his overnight bag. It--had his wallet in it. That was the only reason he was grabbing it.
He needed air before this horrible panic crawled its way up his chest and escaped into some rant that would only make him sound like his father. Air outside the damn hotel preferably.
Shoving his feet--without socks, too much work right now-- into his shoes, he made the mistake of glancing over toward the bed. Very big mistake.
That panic bubbling in his chest suddenly got competition from shame and self-loathing, mixing together to form a lovely cocktail of emotions. It wasn't--he just needed air.
Tearing his eyes away from Merlin, he turned tail and fled out the door before he crawled back into that bed and never left.
The air he needed came in the form of getting a taxi to the airport. From there, it took the form of the first flight back to England with a few lovely lay overs in Chicago and Buffalo. The whole while, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest that wasn't coming from the fact that he'd accidentally taken Merlin's too-small t-shirt.
He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life.
So, after sleeping for maybe four hours total before the next Monday morning of work, he'd managed to come up with a plan to set things right after his less than brave retreat from California.
It started with a very professional e-mail to his secretary, telling her to donate a more than sizeable lump of money to Merlin's department at University of London. This was the Pendragon way, after all. Throw money at it and pretend everything was alright. A tried and true method.
You could imagine his surprise when, at the end of the work day, he was paid a visit by Morgana on the warpath.
"And just what did you do this weekend?" she asked, smiling like a shark as she barged into his office without so much as a knock.
Arthur focused firmly on the numbers on his computer screen, not going to allow himself to be baited on this. "I traveled, as you already know."
"Really?" Morgana asked, taking a seat in the chair across from his desk, smile going far too cruel. "Would you happen to know why the lovely young woman who brings me my coffee is devising plans to cut off your balls? Not that I can blame her."
Arthur froze. He'd managed to forget about Merlin's roommate somewhere along the way. "...haven't a clue."
Morgana leaned back in the chair, quirking an eyebrow in a way that said 'Oh really?'. But he was far too practiced to break at just that. He shot her a look right on back.
She sighed and rested her chin in her hand, elbow on the arm of the chair. "Really, Arthur. Couldn't you have done your experimentations in university like the rest of us?"
Something broke in Arthur's brain at the thought of Morgana doing anything ever. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."
"You look terrible," she said, instead of pushing on that front. Giving him a closer look, Morgana was forced to raise an eyebrow once more. "Have you even slept since you got back?"
Right, that was just what he needed right now. "I slept fine. Just a bit of jet lag."
And a lot of guilt.
Morgana snorted in amusement. "You really care about this Merlin fellow, don't you?"
"What?" Arthur's head shot up and there was no way to pretend to be engrossed in work now. "What on earth are you talking about?"
Just because he'd checked his phone every ten minutes for a text or e-mail since he'd landed in London didn't mean anything. He just wanted to make sure he hadn't left anything in California. Like his pride. And shirt.
"I've never seen you this upset about a fling before," Morgana pointed out with her completely unwanted logic.
"I'm not upset!" Arthur snapped, standing up in hopes that would give her ideas about leaving the office before this got even more uncomfortable. "And don't worry about your coffee needs. I've already fixed it."
Morgana shot him a dubious look, like she was simply forced to ask, "You talked to him, then?"
That was where it got a bit tricky to answer in a way that would get her to leave. It was never fair that she could tell when he lied. "Not as such..."
And that look impugned his ability to feed and clothe himself, let alone fix something messy involving emotions. "What did you do then?"
"I made a small donation to his department at the university," Arthur replied stiffly. The staring and amount spent doing so was wholly unnecessary. "What?"
"You're like a miniature Uther," she said finally, shaking her head.
Arthur straightened up, shoulders back and tense. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Talk to Merlin or I will," Morgana replied, ignoring his question entirely. "You know I will."
"I've taken care of it," Arthur said through gritted teeth. "There's no need for you to poke your newest acquisition from the plastic surgeon into my business."
Normally that sort of insult would send her into a tizzy, but not when he needed it the most, it seemed. "I could've let Gwen castrate you, you know."
Arthur sat back down in his chair with a little too much force. It had the unfortunate side effect of making him look a bit like a child in a sulk. "Why are you still in my office again?"
Standing up gracefully, Morgana shot him one last look before turning for the door at her own pace. "Talk to him, Arthur."
Once the evil Naga queen was gone, Arthur sat back in his chair and stared at the computer screen for a little while longer. Nothing on it was important at this point, but it was better than staring at his phone, willing it to ring. He glanced over at where it was on his desk, hoping to god she wasn't right about this. That Merlin would understand the gesture for what it was. It had to work, right?
Right?
It was late into the evening when he finally got a text from Merlin. Joy didn't even begin to cover the feeling he got at seeing that name on his mobile. That quickly turned to confusion as it seemed Merlin hadn't heard about the donation just yet.
what the hell is wrong with you??
Because that didn't sound like the 'I forgive you, let's go on a raid!' he had been hoping for deep down.
Pardon? he typed back, eying the phone for a moment before deciding against calling his secretary at home to make sure she made the donation early enough in the day that he'd have heard of it.
His phone buzzed again before he could finish punching in her number anyway.
dont worry i wasnt going to tell anyone about blizzcon
A few seconds later another one came through.
so stop trying to buy me off
Buy him off? Well, that might have meant he heard about the donation and got the wrong impression. That was an easy fix, at least. Arthur gave the screen a firm look before typing back a response. I wasn't buying you off
That was a good, solid answer that didn't mean he had to explain it was an apology.
what was it then?? payment for services?
That... stung more than Arthur was willing to admit. He put the phone down, rubbing his eyes to relieve the stress building. This wasn't going according to plan.
The phone buzzed again and he forced himself to pick it back up and read the text. i thought we were friends at least. i was wrong
A brand new form of panic cropped up at that, leaving him unable to do much more than reread the message about ten more times for just a glimmer of hope.
Nothing so far.
He could probably manage to keep this from ending now with just two small words. But that would mean leaving himself open for a sort of rejection that he couldn't deal with, oh... ever. If he actually did apologize and Merlin didn't accept it he really didn't know what he'd do. So, he just put the phone down before this situation could get any worse.
And that was how his internet madness ended. With a pathetic whimper and a dollop of cowardice.
So, life continued on as per usual the weeks after his disastrous conversation with Merlin. Work still needed to be done, he had his... social life. Or lack there of. God help him when he started to look forward to dinner with his father and Morgana if only to have something to do.
It was a Friday night, somewhere around three weeks after everything, when he'd been forced to leave the office by Morgana who claimed he was going to turn into some sort of hermit. Which was ridiculous, but she had refused to leave him alone until he went home. She was a witch of some sort, he was sure of it. And not even the good Jaina kind.
Considering the Indian place he ordered his dinner from didn't even have to let him finish giving his order anymore, it was possible he was... in a bit of a rut. It wasn't like he cooked, though. That was why they had take away.
When there was a knock at his door in the middle of watch Britain's Got Talent--something he'd sooner die than admit to liking--it was a bit of a surprise, but not enough to cause any real alarm. Arthur just sighed and grabbed his money, counting it out as he opened the door. "Doorman let you up then?"
"Your sister, actually," came the vaguely Irish sounding response that sounded nothing like his usual delivery man.
Arthur looked up quickly, swallowing back an emotion he'd rather not categorize at the moment. "Hi," he tried dumbly. Because that was a good response to seeing Merlin again. Merlin at his apartment. Merlin talking to him again.
"Hi." Merlin chewed on his lower lip, peeking around the hallway. "Can I come in?"
"Of course," Arthur replied, remembering how he once had these things called manners. Stepping back to let Merlin in, he craned his head out into the hallway to make sure no madwoman with a sword was lurking there as well.
Once Merlin was inside, the door safely closed behind him, they were left standing in the hallway. Not talking. Merlin looked around, looking more than just a bit out of place. Arthur struggled for something to say that wasn't another repeat of 'You're in my loft' or 'Hi'. It was a good thing that manners really had been drilled into him from a young age. He could defer to them when he had to.
Arthur gestured toward the living room, trying not to stare at Merlin's face again. "Would you like something to drink?" There, that was a good thing to ask a guest, right?
"I'm fine," Merlin replied, going where directed and taking a seat on the edge of a plush leather chair. "I--your sister and I have been talking a lot."
That feeling he could identify easily. That would be panic. "Step-sister," he corrected automatically.
Merlin shot him a look before continuing. "Mostly about you."
Yeah, nothing about that was soothing the panic that was bubbling up in his mind. "Whatever she told you about Space Camp was a lie," he blurted out before he could get everything back under control.
"...Space Camp?"
Arthur cleared his throat. "I'll go get you your drink." Despite Merlin, you know, declining the offer. With that, he fled for the kitchen before Merlin could even begin to question him any further on the matter.
Dear god, when did he turn into some stuttering teenage girl?
Once safely ensconced in the kitchen, he was dialing Morgana's number to yell at her as quietly as humanly possible. This was just a new level of evil on her part. She was going to pay for this--this--this. He didn't even have words in all his panic--rage! It was rage. And, of course, it went straight to bloody voicemail instead of to her.
"Morgana, I swear to god I will murder you in your sleep. What on earth were you thinking bringing Merlin to my loft? Are you insane?" he hissed into the phone, peering out of the kitchen to see if Merlin was listening in. No, he was still in the living room, giving Arthur's TV viewing choices an amused look. Oh God. "And what's this about you talking to him? Can't you mind your own business for once? I will set your entire wardrobe on fire. Is that understood? All of your ridiculous clothing will be gone."
It was a good threat, you know.
Arthur covered the mouthpiece and peered out again to find Merlin wasn't where he left him anymore. Oh god. "This isn't over," he said into the phone one last time before shutting it and going to hunt Merlin down before he--okay, Arthur wasn't sure. Left, perhaps.
"Merlin?" Arthur whispered. Then promptly wondered why he was whispering in his own apartment. "Merlin?"
No answer. So Arthur was left still clutching his Blackberry and moving past the living room and down the hall. Perhaps he needed to use the restroom? That only left him with a dark and open room with no Merlin in it. Which was odd since the only thing left on this half of the house was the linen closest and his computer room--
Arthur took off for the computer room, not at all looking like a madman as he pushed the already open door to find Merlin looking at his collection of figures. He held on to a faint hope that the other man wouldn't at all notice how he'd placed the Draeni Paladin and Nelf Hunter on the most prominent shelf together, while the others were just scattered about. It had been an utterly stupid move on his part, but he hadn't expected Merlin to come to his loft, oh ever.
"I--" Arthur started, trying to get Merlin's attention somewhere less embarrassing.
It only worked in that Merlin was now looking entirely at him. That appraising sort of look he was more used to from Morgana or his father that made him feel like he was found lacking before he'd even had a chance to defend himself. "Do you want me to leave?" he finally asked.
"No!" Arthur immediately regretted blurting that out, trying for calm and collected on the second attempt. "You came all this way, after all."
Merlin bit his lip and looked down at a Murloc plushie, picking it up and squeezing it once. "It was Morgana's idea, you know. I told her it was stupid. You--made your decision in California."
Swallowing back that emotion he wasn't about to think about, Arthur also turned his focus on the stuffed doll. It was safer that way, after all. "I--"
He was afraid of wanting this so badly it almost hurt. Afraid that his father would disapprove. Afraid that Merlin didn't feel the same way about him.
Twitching the corner of his mouth in a failed attempt at a smile, Merlin handed over the toy. "Can we at least be friends again? I--I missed you."
That horrible pressure in his chest seemed to increase the closer to him Merlin got. He accepted the Murloc numbly, staring at Merlin for a moment before he could man up to saying something. He hadn't ever had to come up with an automatic response to this sort of thing before and he couldn't get himself to try and bluster his way through it.
"I missed you too," Arthur admitted, ignoring how his voice cracked a bit. "I didn't--"
Just say it, Arthur. It was just more emotional vulnerability than he'd ever had to engage in before. Be a man and just say it!
"I want you to stay," he said, getting as close as he could. "Please."
He was rewarded with the faintest of smiles from Merlin and the pressure eased just a bit, thank god. Merlin nodded before turning back to the statues. "You have quite the collection."
"Well," Arthur replied, clearing his throat and relaxing just a bit as the conversation was back on something easy as he gently placed the Murloc doll on his desk. "They'll be worth money one day."
Merlin snorted in amusement, picking up the Thrall one, looking over the details. "Only reason, eh?"
And there was that pressure in his gut again. Only this time it was because of the way Merlin looked almost happy to be around him again. This wasn't fair: for everything to pop up like this at something utterly stupid. It was just a smile, nothing special about it.
Arthur took a step closer before he could stop himself, putting his hand on the side of Merlin's face. It was more than just a touch painful to see Merlin giving him a wary look as he got this close. He never wanted to see that aimed at him.
"Arthur...?"
"I want you to stay," Arthur tried again, leaning in closer until he was almost kissing Merlin. Just a bit more courage and he could do this. "With me."
Merlin brought his hand up to cover Arthur's, the wariness giving way to something close to hopeful. It was enough to spur Arthur on to kissing him properly, not caring when Merlin dropped Thrall to kiss him back.
The only thing that broke them apart was the buzz of the intercom alerting Arthur to what he hoped was really the food delivery and not that friend of Merlin's there to cut off his vitals. He was hoping he'd use those a little further down the line. "I've got Indian takeaway if you'd like," Arthur said, looking at Merlin in a way he was utterly certain was just disgustingly sappy. Like a romance novel, it seemed.
Grinning wide and open, Merlin nodded. "I think I'd like that very much."
Arthur cleared his throat, pulling back and--almost tripping on Thrall. "Bugger," he hissed, hopping back on one foot. Sharp plastic angles weren't his friend in an attempt at playing it utterly cool, it seemed.
"Sorry about that," Merlin said, picking the statue up and trying very hard not to laugh at him. "My fault."
"Damn right it is!" Arthur replied sulkily, rubbing his foot before more insistent buzzing got him moving again. "I hope you like chicken tikka masala."
Merlin rolled his eyes and put the statue up in its proper place before rushing Arthur down the hallway. "You're lucky that I do."
And that was how Arthur's internet madness started all over again. Which was good, as he'd hated to have missed out on the expansion.
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen/Lancelot on the side
Rating: R
Word Count: 13000
Warnings/Spoilers: A wee bit of sex and gratuitous WoW based jokes.
Summary: A response to a kinkme prompt: Arthur/Merlin, World of Warcraft. Arthur and Merlin meet in-game.
Notes: Shameless modern day AU that my beta, halfnorn, put up with for... um however long it took for me to go from level 45 to level 61 with my Dwarf Paladin.
Continued from...
Because he remembered how much he'd enjoyed things last night. That just would not do for a Pendragon. He was supposed to marry some insipid woman like Morgana and be emotionally distant from his children. Not--be gay for some scrawny bookworm whom he met online.
Arthur very slowly and carefully unpeeled Merlin's arm from its spot wrapped around his waist. At the slightest hint of him waking up, Arthur froze up and waited before ever so carefully replacing himself with a pillow to keep Merlin happy and asleep.
It was just a strategic retreat, he told himself. Not at all a cowardly escape.
Right.
Once free he scrambled around the room in a desperate bid to put some freaking clothing on. Nudity wasn't normally such a vulnerable thing for Arthur, but on this occasion it equated about as high as emotional honesty.
He managed to wriggle back into the too tight jeans and throw on whatever shirt he found nearest to them before rushing to grab his overnight bag. It--had his wallet in it. That was the only reason he was grabbing it.
He needed air before this horrible panic crawled its way up his chest and escaped into some rant that would only make him sound like his father. Air outside the damn hotel preferably.
Shoving his feet--without socks, too much work right now-- into his shoes, he made the mistake of glancing over toward the bed. Very big mistake.
That panic bubbling in his chest suddenly got competition from shame and self-loathing, mixing together to form a lovely cocktail of emotions. It wasn't--he just needed air.
Tearing his eyes away from Merlin, he turned tail and fled out the door before he crawled back into that bed and never left.
The air he needed came in the form of getting a taxi to the airport. From there, it took the form of the first flight back to England with a few lovely lay overs in Chicago and Buffalo. The whole while, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest that wasn't coming from the fact that he'd accidentally taken Merlin's too-small t-shirt.
He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life.
So, after sleeping for maybe four hours total before the next Monday morning of work, he'd managed to come up with a plan to set things right after his less than brave retreat from California.
It started with a very professional e-mail to his secretary, telling her to donate a more than sizeable lump of money to Merlin's department at University of London. This was the Pendragon way, after all. Throw money at it and pretend everything was alright. A tried and true method.
You could imagine his surprise when, at the end of the work day, he was paid a visit by Morgana on the warpath.
"And just what did you do this weekend?" she asked, smiling like a shark as she barged into his office without so much as a knock.
Arthur focused firmly on the numbers on his computer screen, not going to allow himself to be baited on this. "I traveled, as you already know."
"Really?" Morgana asked, taking a seat in the chair across from his desk, smile going far too cruel. "Would you happen to know why the lovely young woman who brings me my coffee is devising plans to cut off your balls? Not that I can blame her."
Arthur froze. He'd managed to forget about Merlin's roommate somewhere along the way. "...haven't a clue."
Morgana leaned back in the chair, quirking an eyebrow in a way that said 'Oh really?'. But he was far too practiced to break at just that. He shot her a look right on back.
She sighed and rested her chin in her hand, elbow on the arm of the chair. "Really, Arthur. Couldn't you have done your experimentations in university like the rest of us?"
Something broke in Arthur's brain at the thought of Morgana doing anything ever. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."
"You look terrible," she said, instead of pushing on that front. Giving him a closer look, Morgana was forced to raise an eyebrow once more. "Have you even slept since you got back?"
Right, that was just what he needed right now. "I slept fine. Just a bit of jet lag."
And a lot of guilt.
Morgana snorted in amusement. "You really care about this Merlin fellow, don't you?"
"What?" Arthur's head shot up and there was no way to pretend to be engrossed in work now. "What on earth are you talking about?"
Just because he'd checked his phone every ten minutes for a text or e-mail since he'd landed in London didn't mean anything. He just wanted to make sure he hadn't left anything in California. Like his pride. And shirt.
"I've never seen you this upset about a fling before," Morgana pointed out with her completely unwanted logic.
"I'm not upset!" Arthur snapped, standing up in hopes that would give her ideas about leaving the office before this got even more uncomfortable. "And don't worry about your coffee needs. I've already fixed it."
Morgana shot him a dubious look, like she was simply forced to ask, "You talked to him, then?"
That was where it got a bit tricky to answer in a way that would get her to leave. It was never fair that she could tell when he lied. "Not as such..."
And that look impugned his ability to feed and clothe himself, let alone fix something messy involving emotions. "What did you do then?"
"I made a small donation to his department at the university," Arthur replied stiffly. The staring and amount spent doing so was wholly unnecessary. "What?"
"You're like a miniature Uther," she said finally, shaking her head.
Arthur straightened up, shoulders back and tense. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Talk to Merlin or I will," Morgana replied, ignoring his question entirely. "You know I will."
"I've taken care of it," Arthur said through gritted teeth. "There's no need for you to poke your newest acquisition from the plastic surgeon into my business."
Normally that sort of insult would send her into a tizzy, but not when he needed it the most, it seemed. "I could've let Gwen castrate you, you know."
Arthur sat back down in his chair with a little too much force. It had the unfortunate side effect of making him look a bit like a child in a sulk. "Why are you still in my office again?"
Standing up gracefully, Morgana shot him one last look before turning for the door at her own pace. "Talk to him, Arthur."
Once the evil Naga queen was gone, Arthur sat back in his chair and stared at the computer screen for a little while longer. Nothing on it was important at this point, but it was better than staring at his phone, willing it to ring. He glanced over at where it was on his desk, hoping to god she wasn't right about this. That Merlin would understand the gesture for what it was. It had to work, right?
Right?
It was late into the evening when he finally got a text from Merlin. Joy didn't even begin to cover the feeling he got at seeing that name on his mobile. That quickly turned to confusion as it seemed Merlin hadn't heard about the donation just yet.
what the hell is wrong with you??
Because that didn't sound like the 'I forgive you, let's go on a raid!' he had been hoping for deep down.
Pardon? he typed back, eying the phone for a moment before deciding against calling his secretary at home to make sure she made the donation early enough in the day that he'd have heard of it.
His phone buzzed again before he could finish punching in her number anyway.
dont worry i wasnt going to tell anyone about blizzcon
A few seconds later another one came through.
so stop trying to buy me off
Buy him off? Well, that might have meant he heard about the donation and got the wrong impression. That was an easy fix, at least. Arthur gave the screen a firm look before typing back a response. I wasn't buying you off
That was a good, solid answer that didn't mean he had to explain it was an apology.
what was it then?? payment for services?
That... stung more than Arthur was willing to admit. He put the phone down, rubbing his eyes to relieve the stress building. This wasn't going according to plan.
The phone buzzed again and he forced himself to pick it back up and read the text. i thought we were friends at least. i was wrong
A brand new form of panic cropped up at that, leaving him unable to do much more than reread the message about ten more times for just a glimmer of hope.
Nothing so far.
He could probably manage to keep this from ending now with just two small words. But that would mean leaving himself open for a sort of rejection that he couldn't deal with, oh... ever. If he actually did apologize and Merlin didn't accept it he really didn't know what he'd do. So, he just put the phone down before this situation could get any worse.
And that was how his internet madness ended. With a pathetic whimper and a dollop of cowardice.
So, life continued on as per usual the weeks after his disastrous conversation with Merlin. Work still needed to be done, he had his... social life. Or lack there of. God help him when he started to look forward to dinner with his father and Morgana if only to have something to do.
It was a Friday night, somewhere around three weeks after everything, when he'd been forced to leave the office by Morgana who claimed he was going to turn into some sort of hermit. Which was ridiculous, but she had refused to leave him alone until he went home. She was a witch of some sort, he was sure of it. And not even the good Jaina kind.
Considering the Indian place he ordered his dinner from didn't even have to let him finish giving his order anymore, it was possible he was... in a bit of a rut. It wasn't like he cooked, though. That was why they had take away.
When there was a knock at his door in the middle of watch Britain's Got Talent--something he'd sooner die than admit to liking--it was a bit of a surprise, but not enough to cause any real alarm. Arthur just sighed and grabbed his money, counting it out as he opened the door. "Doorman let you up then?"
"Your sister, actually," came the vaguely Irish sounding response that sounded nothing like his usual delivery man.
Arthur looked up quickly, swallowing back an emotion he'd rather not categorize at the moment. "Hi," he tried dumbly. Because that was a good response to seeing Merlin again. Merlin at his apartment. Merlin talking to him again.
"Hi." Merlin chewed on his lower lip, peeking around the hallway. "Can I come in?"
"Of course," Arthur replied, remembering how he once had these things called manners. Stepping back to let Merlin in, he craned his head out into the hallway to make sure no madwoman with a sword was lurking there as well.
Once Merlin was inside, the door safely closed behind him, they were left standing in the hallway. Not talking. Merlin looked around, looking more than just a bit out of place. Arthur struggled for something to say that wasn't another repeat of 'You're in my loft' or 'Hi'. It was a good thing that manners really had been drilled into him from a young age. He could defer to them when he had to.
Arthur gestured toward the living room, trying not to stare at Merlin's face again. "Would you like something to drink?" There, that was a good thing to ask a guest, right?
"I'm fine," Merlin replied, going where directed and taking a seat on the edge of a plush leather chair. "I--your sister and I have been talking a lot."
That feeling he could identify easily. That would be panic. "Step-sister," he corrected automatically.
Merlin shot him a look before continuing. "Mostly about you."
Yeah, nothing about that was soothing the panic that was bubbling up in his mind. "Whatever she told you about Space Camp was a lie," he blurted out before he could get everything back under control.
"...Space Camp?"
Arthur cleared his throat. "I'll go get you your drink." Despite Merlin, you know, declining the offer. With that, he fled for the kitchen before Merlin could even begin to question him any further on the matter.
Dear god, when did he turn into some stuttering teenage girl?
Once safely ensconced in the kitchen, he was dialing Morgana's number to yell at her as quietly as humanly possible. This was just a new level of evil on her part. She was going to pay for this--this--this. He didn't even have words in all his panic--rage! It was rage. And, of course, it went straight to bloody voicemail instead of to her.
"Morgana, I swear to god I will murder you in your sleep. What on earth were you thinking bringing Merlin to my loft? Are you insane?" he hissed into the phone, peering out of the kitchen to see if Merlin was listening in. No, he was still in the living room, giving Arthur's TV viewing choices an amused look. Oh God. "And what's this about you talking to him? Can't you mind your own business for once? I will set your entire wardrobe on fire. Is that understood? All of your ridiculous clothing will be gone."
It was a good threat, you know.
Arthur covered the mouthpiece and peered out again to find Merlin wasn't where he left him anymore. Oh god. "This isn't over," he said into the phone one last time before shutting it and going to hunt Merlin down before he--okay, Arthur wasn't sure. Left, perhaps.
"Merlin?" Arthur whispered. Then promptly wondered why he was whispering in his own apartment. "Merlin?"
No answer. So Arthur was left still clutching his Blackberry and moving past the living room and down the hall. Perhaps he needed to use the restroom? That only left him with a dark and open room with no Merlin in it. Which was odd since the only thing left on this half of the house was the linen closest and his computer room--
Arthur took off for the computer room, not at all looking like a madman as he pushed the already open door to find Merlin looking at his collection of figures. He held on to a faint hope that the other man wouldn't at all notice how he'd placed the Draeni Paladin and Nelf Hunter on the most prominent shelf together, while the others were just scattered about. It had been an utterly stupid move on his part, but he hadn't expected Merlin to come to his loft, oh ever.
"I--" Arthur started, trying to get Merlin's attention somewhere less embarrassing.
It only worked in that Merlin was now looking entirely at him. That appraising sort of look he was more used to from Morgana or his father that made him feel like he was found lacking before he'd even had a chance to defend himself. "Do you want me to leave?" he finally asked.
"No!" Arthur immediately regretted blurting that out, trying for calm and collected on the second attempt. "You came all this way, after all."
Merlin bit his lip and looked down at a Murloc plushie, picking it up and squeezing it once. "It was Morgana's idea, you know. I told her it was stupid. You--made your decision in California."
Swallowing back that emotion he wasn't about to think about, Arthur also turned his focus on the stuffed doll. It was safer that way, after all. "I--"
He was afraid of wanting this so badly it almost hurt. Afraid that his father would disapprove. Afraid that Merlin didn't feel the same way about him.
Twitching the corner of his mouth in a failed attempt at a smile, Merlin handed over the toy. "Can we at least be friends again? I--I missed you."
That horrible pressure in his chest seemed to increase the closer to him Merlin got. He accepted the Murloc numbly, staring at Merlin for a moment before he could man up to saying something. He hadn't ever had to come up with an automatic response to this sort of thing before and he couldn't get himself to try and bluster his way through it.
"I missed you too," Arthur admitted, ignoring how his voice cracked a bit. "I didn't--"
Just say it, Arthur. It was just more emotional vulnerability than he'd ever had to engage in before. Be a man and just say it!
"I want you to stay," he said, getting as close as he could. "Please."
He was rewarded with the faintest of smiles from Merlin and the pressure eased just a bit, thank god. Merlin nodded before turning back to the statues. "You have quite the collection."
"Well," Arthur replied, clearing his throat and relaxing just a bit as the conversation was back on something easy as he gently placed the Murloc doll on his desk. "They'll be worth money one day."
Merlin snorted in amusement, picking up the Thrall one, looking over the details. "Only reason, eh?"
And there was that pressure in his gut again. Only this time it was because of the way Merlin looked almost happy to be around him again. This wasn't fair: for everything to pop up like this at something utterly stupid. It was just a smile, nothing special about it.
Arthur took a step closer before he could stop himself, putting his hand on the side of Merlin's face. It was more than just a touch painful to see Merlin giving him a wary look as he got this close. He never wanted to see that aimed at him.
"Arthur...?"
"I want you to stay," Arthur tried again, leaning in closer until he was almost kissing Merlin. Just a bit more courage and he could do this. "With me."
Merlin brought his hand up to cover Arthur's, the wariness giving way to something close to hopeful. It was enough to spur Arthur on to kissing him properly, not caring when Merlin dropped Thrall to kiss him back.
The only thing that broke them apart was the buzz of the intercom alerting Arthur to what he hoped was really the food delivery and not that friend of Merlin's there to cut off his vitals. He was hoping he'd use those a little further down the line. "I've got Indian takeaway if you'd like," Arthur said, looking at Merlin in a way he was utterly certain was just disgustingly sappy. Like a romance novel, it seemed.
Grinning wide and open, Merlin nodded. "I think I'd like that very much."
Arthur cleared his throat, pulling back and--almost tripping on Thrall. "Bugger," he hissed, hopping back on one foot. Sharp plastic angles weren't his friend in an attempt at playing it utterly cool, it seemed.
"Sorry about that," Merlin said, picking the statue up and trying very hard not to laugh at him. "My fault."
"Damn right it is!" Arthur replied sulkily, rubbing his foot before more insistent buzzing got him moving again. "I hope you like chicken tikka masala."
Merlin rolled his eyes and put the statue up in its proper place before rushing Arthur down the hallway. "You're lucky that I do."
And that was how Arthur's internet madness started all over again. Which was good, as he'd hated to have missed out on the expansion.