i saw a gorgeous boy with prostetic legs.
today i had work and it was pretty alright. my discount sucks. but the people working there are pretty nice so i can't complain. i did see the guy with fake legs, he was rather goodlooking and you could tell that before whatever accident that occured that he was a tall man. its kind of late so i really should be going to bed. i have this thing for speech due tomorrow. something that i havent really done so im waking up early and going to school early...a freaking pain in the butt. oh man i am seriously saving most of my money for the keyboard. and quite possibly this cannon rebel eos that i saw at work. it was nicccceeee.... i need to learn and explore new things. i'm off work on tuesday so that's pretty kick ass. i can feel that this target thing isnt going to last very long. although im going to give it time. mostly because i really need the money right now. ha. okay i think im going to go to bed. wake up. read some poetry. then go to school and what not. i really need a reason to laugh. i was thinking about life today and how people don't really notice or take the time to see eachother. i would elaborate but i clearly dont have the time. speech class tomorrow. then homeworrrkkkk....gosh.
"my days are starting to all run together like a twilight zone marathon, only seperated by commercial breaks. I felt myself growing more and more apathetic and I hated myself for it. I hated myself for everyone that could feel the distance that i was building around myself like a small moat surrounding a castle. I often put the televison of life on mute, occasionally i turn the sound on, but real low and listen to the dial tone of Aidan's voice. One morning i was making a small pot of coffee and got lost in the tangled forest of thought, the one window of the tiny kitchen was fused shut and i felt the heat from the maker's steam. I tried to open it carefully, then wedging my fingers inbetween the groove of the window and the frame, i got completely lost in this task. The blood that had gathered from beneath each of the active fingers slowly walked me back to reality, the coffee was burnt and the frame stained. I didn't have the energy to clean up the mess, just leave it there, as some type of fucked up monument to the loss of time and the concept of wasted things. I'm not sad or depressed. Just numb and frozen in the paralysis of suburban teenage life, submurged in the mundanity of track homes and shopping centers. soccer moms and emaciated kids that think that they're cultured. I tried to find some lesson in this. Something to cling onto for dear life and believe in,something to tell me that, 'it is better to feel nothing at all than to feel immense happiness then eternal pain.'
"my days are starting to all run together like a twilight zone marathon, only seperated by commercial breaks. I felt myself growing more and more apathetic and I hated myself for it. I hated myself for everyone that could feel the distance that i was building around myself like a small moat surrounding a castle. I often put the televison of life on mute, occasionally i turn the sound on, but real low and listen to the dial tone of Aidan's voice. One morning i was making a small pot of coffee and got lost in the tangled forest of thought, the one window of the tiny kitchen was fused shut and i felt the heat from the maker's steam. I tried to open it carefully, then wedging my fingers inbetween the groove of the window and the frame, i got completely lost in this task. The blood that had gathered from beneath each of the active fingers slowly walked me back to reality, the coffee was burnt and the frame stained. I didn't have the energy to clean up the mess, just leave it there, as some type of fucked up monument to the loss of time and the concept of wasted things. I'm not sad or depressed. Just numb and frozen in the paralysis of suburban teenage life, submurged in the mundanity of track homes and shopping centers. soccer moms and emaciated kids that think that they're cultured. I tried to find some lesson in this. Something to cling onto for dear life and believe in,something to tell me that, 'it is better to feel nothing at all than to feel immense happiness then eternal pain.'