A Bizarre Proposal, Part 3B
Title: A Bizarre Proposal, Part 3B
Author: shes_a_geek
Pairing: Holmes/Watson (implied), Moriarty/Moran (discussed)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: These are owned by ACD, with shout outs to Kim Newman's "The Red Planel League" and Not You's "Hunting Tigers".
Warnings: Unbetaed, Americanisms, Alternate History/Politics, Evil Math Geeks
Summary: Holmes has an awkward moment.
Word Count: 718
“Do you remember, Watson, when I told MacDonald about my…ah, visit to the professor’s house?”
How could I forget? Holmes’s obsession with Moriarty was one thing, but to enter the man’s home in a risky attempt to find proof-not to mention, admitting this action to a police inspector-seemed to cross the line.
“Vividly, Holmes. You broke in, rifled through the desk, engaged in some art appreciation, and snuck out before you could be noticed.”
“I must admit, my dear fellow, that it is not quite as simple as I made it appear.”
“You were caught?”
Holmes laughed heartily.
“My dear, dear Watson. Do you really think I would be here in your sitting room today had I been discovered? No, I fear that-were that to have occurred-I would have been the unfortunate victim of an anonymous stabbing in a bad part of town. Either that…or I would have made a crazed attempt on the life of an eminent mathematician, who would have been saved, no doubt, by his dear friend, Sebastian Moran. What Moran was doing on the premises would never have been questioned.”
“Why, Holmes! Surely, a man can visit his friends after a nice evening out.”
“Precisely. Just as we are now doing, perhaps? In my search of the house, I found many interesting things I did not dare tell MacDonald. The bedrooms, for instance. There were two, but only one showed signs of having been used on a regular basis. There was also some…intriguing literature in the bottom right drawer of the desk. Oh, there were certainly incriminating documents in the study, but not something I would necessarily want getting out.”
In his more humorous moments, my friend had sometimes remarked on the uncanny parallels between his archrivals and the two of us.
“You mean to tell me, Holmes, that you believe Moriarty and Moran to be…romantically involved?”
“Oh, this is far more than a belief, Watson. I know. I saw them.”
It was not funny. There was nothing at all laughable about the situation. That being said, the image of Holmes walking in on the two most dangerous men in London sharing a tender embrace or some such thing brought a slight smile to my face.
“Do you really think me such a fool, Watson, that I would attempt to burgle an occupied residence? The house was completely empty when I entered, and my…informant had told me it would remain so for some time. Apparently, Porlock overestimated the length of time Colonel Moran could stand a Royal Astronomical Society lecture. I had just enough time to hide in a closet before the study door was flung open.”
Holmes gave me a stern glare before continuing.
“It seemed that Moran was able to survive as long as he did was through the aid of a flask, for his footsteps seemed tipsy in a manner not commonly associated with astronomy. Although I could not see what was happening, I could hear everything clearly…and the inference was obvious.”
‘Moran, really!’
‘There, there. I really think it’s only fair, considering where we’ve spent the last two hours.”
‘And you wanted…what, exactly? To see loose women wrestle each other in custard?’
‘Would that really have been so bad?’
‘It would have been excruciating. Oh! Oh, dear…Must you always do this when I’m trying to have a conversation with you? It is very, mmm…distracting.’
‘But, darling, I’m just trying to cheer you up after what that horrid Stent said. Although, I must admit, that look on your face during his talk was very…appealing. I wanted very much to drag you away right then and there. ‘
‘Which is, I am sure, exactly why you were staring at Stent the entire time, not to mention laughing at his ridiculous jokes?’
‘I was not staring at Stent. I was…waiting for him to say something ridiculous so that I could see your response. Isn’t that why you wanted me there? So that I could…ah, soothe your mind from the barbs of idiots like that? Because, to be honest, I can’t quite see what other reasons there could be.’
‘Moran…’
“And with that, Watson, the two lovebirds wandered out of the study and upstairs. I left as soon as I was certain there was little chance of me being detected.”