Fic: Dreams of Paper-Cuts and Requisition Forms (SGA, Gen, PG)
Title: Dreams of Paper-Cuts and Requisition Forms
Author: sheryden
Rating: PG
Word Count: 675
Characters: Sheppard and Lorne
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Alas, they aren't mine.
Summary: Sometimes Lorne thinks his paperwork is trying to kill him.
Notes: Written for the Theme Week challenge over at stargateland. My claims were "Evan Lorne, paperwork and more paperwork" and "John Sheppard & or / Evan Lorne, how to bribe your 2IC to do your paperwork." I thought they worked well together, so I combined them.
Sometimes Evan Lorne had dreams that his paperwork was trying to kill him. When the dream first started, he’d be sitting at his desk and slugging his way through a stack of requisition forms. Just as he’d dropped the last finished form into the “Done” box, a new stack of paper would fall from the sky and onto his desk. He figured that was pretty standard stuff dream-wise. But then it got weird.
After plowing through a few stacks of forms, Lorne would start to notice requisition forms and duty rosters and mission reports creeping closer and closer to him. Occasionally, one of the forms would bite him. By the end of the dream, the papers would start to bury him, drowning him in a sea of blank documents. Once, the dream ended with Keller saying, "I'm afraid the paper-cut is going to be fatal, Major."
Of course, reality wasn’t much different from his whacked-out dream life. Maybe the paperwork wasn't overtly homicidal, but he was definitely out to get him. Currently, he was sitting behind his desk, trying to make quick work of his last few requisition forms. He was due to go on a milk run with Zelenka later that afternoon. He was a little fuzzy on the details, but apparently, Zelenka was planning to test some kind of contraption he and McKay had built.
Escorting scientists wasn’t so bad. He’d even managed to make friends with a few of them, and he definitely considered Zelenka to be among them.
Just as Lorne was placing the last of the finished forms onto the stack, Sheppard appeared in his doorway. Over the years, Lorne had gotten pretty good at reading his CO, and his new from Sheppard’s current posture and expression that he was up to something.
Sheppard peered at Lorne’s desk. “Paperwork all done? Boy, you’re lucky.”
Lorne grinned. “Yes, sir. And before you ask, the answer is still no.”
They danced this little dance at least once a week. Sheppard would try to pawn off a stack of paperwork on Lorne, and he’d gotten more and more creative with his tactics. He’d tried flattery, roguish charm, and even riddling Lorne with ridiculous and redundant questions in the hope that Lorne would throw up his hands and do the work himself. Through it all and Lorne had stood resolute, refusing to let himself be conned into taking on the extra responsibilities
“Fair enough,” Sheppard said. “You ready for the mission to the mainland?”
“Sure am, sir. It’ll be good to get out of my office.”
Nodding, Sheppard ran a hand through his hair. “So Rodney’s waiting for you. He’s all ready.”
“Rodney, sir?” The words were like a splash of cold water in his face. McKay was a decent enough guy, and Lorne had no real problem with him. But working with the guy… it wasn’t his favorite pastime. “I, uh, thought I was escorting Zelenka.”
Sheppard shoved his hands into his pockets, looking to Lorne like the picture of a guilty child. “Right,”
he said. “Well, I had him reassigned. Sun’s kind of hot, and he burns easily. You know, Rodney’s really looking forward to this. He likes working with you.”
Lorne folded his arms across his chest. “A whole day with Rodney. I can’t wait.”
“More like three days. Rodney says he needs to run the test multiple times to get accurate reading.”
“Three days. With McKay.”
“Yep! Just the two of you.” He slapped Lorne on the shoulder. “You can get to know each other.”
Rubbing his eyes, Lorne sat down on the edge of his desk. “Don’t I have a stack of paperwork to finish, sir?”
“Well, you don’t. I mean, I do.”
“Three days with Rodney. A stack of paperwork.” Letting out a breath, he shook his head. “Well played, sir. I’d love to do your paperwork.”
Sheppard flashed a grin. “It’s on my desk.”
As Lorne trudged toward Sheppard's office to gather up his newest stack of forms, he wondered what his dreams would be like tonight.
Author: sheryden
Rating: PG
Word Count: 675
Characters: Sheppard and Lorne
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Alas, they aren't mine.
Summary: Sometimes Lorne thinks his paperwork is trying to kill him.
Notes: Written for the Theme Week challenge over at stargateland. My claims were "Evan Lorne, paperwork and more paperwork" and "John Sheppard & or / Evan Lorne, how to bribe your 2IC to do your paperwork." I thought they worked well together, so I combined them.
Sometimes Evan Lorne had dreams that his paperwork was trying to kill him. When the dream first started, he’d be sitting at his desk and slugging his way through a stack of requisition forms. Just as he’d dropped the last finished form into the “Done” box, a new stack of paper would fall from the sky and onto his desk. He figured that was pretty standard stuff dream-wise. But then it got weird.
After plowing through a few stacks of forms, Lorne would start to notice requisition forms and duty rosters and mission reports creeping closer and closer to him. Occasionally, one of the forms would bite him. By the end of the dream, the papers would start to bury him, drowning him in a sea of blank documents. Once, the dream ended with Keller saying, "I'm afraid the paper-cut is going to be fatal, Major."
Of course, reality wasn’t much different from his whacked-out dream life. Maybe the paperwork wasn't overtly homicidal, but he was definitely out to get him. Currently, he was sitting behind his desk, trying to make quick work of his last few requisition forms. He was due to go on a milk run with Zelenka later that afternoon. He was a little fuzzy on the details, but apparently, Zelenka was planning to test some kind of contraption he and McKay had built.
Escorting scientists wasn’t so bad. He’d even managed to make friends with a few of them, and he definitely considered Zelenka to be among them.
Just as Lorne was placing the last of the finished forms onto the stack, Sheppard appeared in his doorway. Over the years, Lorne had gotten pretty good at reading his CO, and his new from Sheppard’s current posture and expression that he was up to something.
Sheppard peered at Lorne’s desk. “Paperwork all done? Boy, you’re lucky.”
Lorne grinned. “Yes, sir. And before you ask, the answer is still no.”
They danced this little dance at least once a week. Sheppard would try to pawn off a stack of paperwork on Lorne, and he’d gotten more and more creative with his tactics. He’d tried flattery, roguish charm, and even riddling Lorne with ridiculous and redundant questions in the hope that Lorne would throw up his hands and do the work himself. Through it all and Lorne had stood resolute, refusing to let himself be conned into taking on the extra responsibilities
“Fair enough,” Sheppard said. “You ready for the mission to the mainland?”
“Sure am, sir. It’ll be good to get out of my office.”
Nodding, Sheppard ran a hand through his hair. “So Rodney’s waiting for you. He’s all ready.”
“Rodney, sir?” The words were like a splash of cold water in his face. McKay was a decent enough guy, and Lorne had no real problem with him. But working with the guy… it wasn’t his favorite pastime. “I, uh, thought I was escorting Zelenka.”
Sheppard shoved his hands into his pockets, looking to Lorne like the picture of a guilty child. “Right,”
he said. “Well, I had him reassigned. Sun’s kind of hot, and he burns easily. You know, Rodney’s really looking forward to this. He likes working with you.”
Lorne folded his arms across his chest. “A whole day with Rodney. I can’t wait.”
“More like three days. Rodney says he needs to run the test multiple times to get accurate reading.”
“Three days. With McKay.”
“Yep! Just the two of you.” He slapped Lorne on the shoulder. “You can get to know each other.”
Rubbing his eyes, Lorne sat down on the edge of his desk. “Don’t I have a stack of paperwork to finish, sir?”
“Well, you don’t. I mean, I do.”
“Three days with Rodney. A stack of paperwork.” Letting out a breath, he shook his head. “Well played, sir. I’d love to do your paperwork.”
Sheppard flashed a grin. “It’s on my desk.”
As Lorne trudged toward Sheppard's office to gather up his newest stack of forms, he wondered what his dreams would be like tonight.