A little bit of everything. Plus a poll.
Okay, first of all... me not having an extra job for the summer? Fail. Please, God, let me find one. I just want something part time--maybe Saturday and Sunday. I need to be able to pay rent, buy food, and afford my social life.
Went out with Paul and several others tonight. He's growing a beard, and I tease him and said it looked like fur. He's home for the summer, but he lives in Illinois (grad school). I think he's worried about me, because I'm having a crisis of... I don't know. A crisis of faith in my career choice, I guess. I love to teach, and I love to write. But I'm frustrated that I have a Master's degree, and I'm freaking out about where to work for the summer. It pisses me off that I've worked so hard, only to be worried about money all the time.
I'll soon have to start applying to a PhD school, but I've just lost the ambition I had in college and throughout my Master's program. I have to e-mail a couple of professors from grad school, because I haven't kept in touch with them, and I'll need letters from them. I should have been keeping in touch with them, but I didn't really bond with anyone in Wisconsin. That's why I wanted to leave so damn bad. I loathed it there.
You guys have no idea--I was always so driven in college. I graduated Summa Cum Laude, I was in the Honors College, I edited two journals...but now, I'm a disillusioned mess.
Also, feel like I'm letting people down if I don't do great things. One of my old college classmates got into an impressive school, and I just don't feel like competing anymore. I'm so tired.
/emo
I guess I'm going to see Wall-E on Saturday. I can't really afford it, and I'm not sure how good it will be, but Paul's hyped up for it. And it did look cute. I think Ryan and Alex (two guys I went to college with) might come, as well.
Tomorrow, some others and I are supposed to go to the McKinley Museum in Canton. I'm looking forward to that, because I haven't been in a while, and I'm a history geek. I had intended to send some of my writing to Jessica, Charity, and Kelley tonight, but I got home later than I expected. On the up side, though, I haven't gotten anything from them, so I don't feel so bad. ;)
There's also a party this Friday (I think), and talk of a free concert in July. And Michelle and I still have to plan the zoo and that Poison concert, but that might have to wait until I get a job.
1.
Character 1: How do you feel?
Character 2: Groggy, sore, and bad-tempered.
Character 1: Almost your old self. (Classic Doctor Who--it's Five and Tegan)
10.
Look, I don't speak smartass. (Criminal Minds--it's Rossi)
My conversations with my male friends always amuse me.
Two of the guys and I talking about Christian Bale.
Paul: Well, the Dark Knight has Christian Bale, and he's hot.
Me: He's smoking hot.
Paul: Yes, he is.
Ryan: Well, he is really ripped.
Me: *dreamily* Yeah, he is.
Ryan: I kind of wish I ripped like that.
Paul: Shall we continue with the homoeroticism, and I say, "I wish you were, too?"
Paul, telling me about Penis Cookie Party he attended
Me: Penis Party?
Paul: Well, that doesn't sound good. I should tell you it's a Penis Cookie Party.
Me: That doesn't make it sound any better. What is it?
Paul: Basically, we get together, watch Death to Smoochy, and one of the grad students makes penis-shaped cookies.
Paul: Actually, you remember that girl I was interested in before.
Me: Yeah.
Paul: Well, that's where I found out things weren't going to work out.
Me: Wow, sorry.
Paul: When I realized she just wanted to be friends, I decided to drown my sorrows. I figured I'd just give up and eat penises. I think ate four penises.
There were some other things, including a detailed discussion of Halloween costumes, why men wear beards (apparently, it is part of a "fashion matrix"), a conversation over whether or not Heath Ledger will make a good Joker (he will), and a lengthy discussion about whether gazelles are related to deer, antelopes, or birds (don't ask). But I'm about to throw in some dinner and watch TV.
At one point, Paul, who knows me well, looked at me and said, "You should use this in a story." I was like, "Don't worry. I'm planning to. Anything you guys say can and will be fictionalized."
Also, I've decided that since, I've pretty much convinced myself I won't be able to find a job this summer (because I have no self-esteem, I'm cynical, and I fear the worst), and I'll run out of money soon, I thought I needed an incentive to work toward. Something that will force me to stop being all gloom and doom. So, once I get a summer job, what should I buy myself?
Poll What should I get myself?