Song Fic - Right Here Waiting
Ok, i'm not sure why i'm posting this coz i've decided that i really hate it. It's kinda pointless and i dont like where it ended up going, but i seem to have lost the ability to write anything, especially EoTL, which is getting really annoying. I've got chapters written but i think they're too bad to be posted. Hopefully i'll get over that soon.
So, yeah. This is a song fic.
Title: Right Here Waiting. Based on the song by Richard Marx
Pairing: Brad/Ryan
Disclaimer: Dont own anything
Notes: Brad's POV. And it's really bad :)
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
The taping ends and we all step out onto the stage. Drew gets up to join us, shaking hands and clapping backs, congratulating everyone on another job well done. Colin and Ryan grin at each other, familiar looks passing between them without the need for words. Wayne jumps up and down on the balls of his feet, still rolling on the high of a perfect performance. I step towards Drew and he pats me on the shoulder, still laughing at a joke I had made earlier in the show. I laugh back, cocking my head to the side in a half shrug of self-modesty, waving off his appraisal.
I turn towards the back to face Wayne, smiling warmly to him as I strike up a conversation. Opposite me I see Ryan do the same, moving backwards while still talking to Colin so that he now stands beside me, his shoulder brushing mine. Neither of us acknowledges the other, as we stand side by side, the feel of his arm brushing mine sending shivers shooting up and down my spine. My skin tingles with every contact. I wish he would turn and talk to me but I don’t dare look at him, and he gives no indication of wanting to start a conversation.
And so I remain, routed to the spot, right at his side, unable to catch my breath.
After the show a few of us go to a bar, cold beer and loud laughter flowing well into the night. We gather outside, in a garden at the back, illuminated by soft lamps and canopies of small twinkling lights. I sit and frown at the bottle in my hand, watching as drops of water snake down the side to collect in the creases of my hand. The noise around me ebbs and flows as people laugh and argue, debating politics and current affairs, books and films. I feel separated from it all, with only a minimal amount of questions being aimed in my direction. Ryan sits opposite me, his long, jean clad legs stretched out towards mine, a beer of his own resting on the table beside him. He’s chatting easily to the others, arms gesturing around himself wildly, heart and soul of the party.
A break in the conversation and Colin gets up to find the bathroom while Drew goes for another round. Ryan, leaning back confidently in his seat, picks up his beer and lifts it to his lips, taking a long drink. Hooded eyes meet mine over the dark green bottle and I find myself unable to avoid his piercing gaze. Seconds pass and I know I’m caught, like a startled deer in headlights, for once unable to conceal the emotions pulsing through my body. My heart starts to race until I can feel it pumping solidly against my rib cage, hard and fast. My breath hitches and a ringing noise begins to build in my ears, peeling away like a bell. My grip tightens and then suddenly loosens and I watch with distracted fascination as my beer bottle falls to the ground and clatters over the stones, spraying amber liquid over my shoes and the bottoms of Ryan’s jeans.
Silence follows and then with a loud popping noise the rest of the world comes rushing back in. Drew, upon returning from the bar with a tray in his hands, laughs at me and asks me how much I’ve had to drink. He rolls his eyes at Ryan as if sharing some unspoken joke and I feel my face heat up in an uncharacteristic blush. Beside me, a returning Colin bends down to pick up the bottle and stands it beside Ryan on the table, shaking his head and grinning at the laughter around him. Before Colin can sit back down however Ryan quickly stands and changes seats, plonking himself next to me. He shoves me playfully with his shoulder and grabs a fresh bottle of beer from Drew’s tray, handing it over to me. As he does his fingers gently brush mine, leaving me feeling light-headed and giddy.
For the rest of the night he doesn’t leave my side.
Ocean's apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
It’s late when we make the drunken stumble back to the hotel. Ryan, swaying slightly on his feet, throws an arm around my shoulder and pulls me along with him, touching my chest with his other hand and leaning towards me to whisper in my ear, his breath, hot and sweet, tickling the side of my neck. I breathe deeply, inhaling his scent, an intoxicating mixture of alcohol, tobacco, cologne, and another smell that I can only describe as distinctly and essentially Ryan. I close my eyes for a moment and wonder how he would taste, allowing a small moan to escape my lips. I open my eyes again to find Ryan starring at me, and I blush for the second time that night, my heart pounding. But he just looks at me knowingly and slips his arm down to settle around my waist.
Together we hold each other up.
Back at the hotel I traverse the never ending corridors, all identical and frustratingly long, as I search for Ryan’s room. It had quickly become a one person operation as Ryan gave into his drunkenness and slumped against me, and I struggled to hold him up. As I neared Ryan’s door I turned to ask the others for help and was surprised to find myself alone. Shaking my head I begin to search Ryan’s pockets for his key-card, finally locating it and sliding it into the lock. As the door clicks open I pull Ryan with me and into the room, kicking the door shut with my foot.
Inside the room it's quiet and warm, and I pause a moment to gaze at the man in my arms. His face is peaceful, his eyes closed, his long lashes gently resting on the down of his cheek. I reach a hand up to touch his face, leaning close to him to whisper his name. At first nothing happens and I’m about to move him towards the bed, when he opens his eyes slowly and stares at me, a small smile on his lips.
‘Brad?’ He asks and I nod, watching as he smiles again and then slowly closes his eyes, becoming dead weight in my arms. I grunt with the sudden effort, but manage to place him gently onto the bed. Then I sit back and look at him, letting the extent of my emotions flow to the surface to engulf me.
He looks so beautiful, lying there, and it takes my breath away. After a moment I look down at the floor, unable to stand the sight any more. I get up and walk across the room, pacing back and forth, unsure of what to do despite having been in this situation so many times before.
Why is it always me Ryan? I want to ask. Why me? Why not Colin, or Greg, or Drew? Why, after the laugher has died down, and the beer has gone warm and flat, and the last of the night has been swept away, do you always end up in my arms?
And why can I never do a single thing about it?
I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Hours later, a stirring in the bed has me opening my eyes. The first rays of sunlight are falling in streaks across the warn carpet and the comforting sounds of a city awakening can be heard faintly beyond the closed windows. My back’s sore from spending the night in the hotel room’s only chair and I grimace slightly and try to stretch. From the other side of the room comes a resounding groan, followed by a few mumbled curses as Ryan sits up and looks around him. He glances down at the clothes he’s wearing and then over at me with a frown.
‘Brad?’ He asks, a repeat of his last word from the night before.
‘Yeah’ I answer him, sitting up with a sigh and running a hand down my face. I look up at Ryan to find him staring right back at me.
‘You stayed here all night?’
The only reply I can manage is a shrug as Ryan continues to stare at me, the expression on his face unreadable.
‘Why?’ He says finally, leaving me to struggle for the right thing to say, to explain why I do this day after day. But he’s never asked before, and even though I’d imagined telling him hundreds of times, I find that in reality I am unable to find the words. I feel my body start to shake and I push myself up and out of the chair so quickly I almost knock it over.
‘I better go.’ I mumble, stumbling to the door, yanking it open and bathing for a moment in the wash of cool air that hits me as I exit the room. Just as I step into the hall however a hand grabs me by the wrist and holds me tight, not pulling me back but not letting me go. I don’t turn around, but instead fix my eyes on the floor, anything to distract myself from the maddening feeling of fingers gently stroking the inside of my wrist.
‘Why are you here Brad?’ Ryan asks me, the stroking turning to a tender caress as he entwines his fingers with mine. I barely dare myself to breath for fear of breaking the spell.
‘I...’ I begin, starting to shake as Ryan pulls me gently backwards, his arm moving across my chest to hold me gently. I still refuse to look at him.
‘You, what?’ Ryan murmurs, his voice gently coaxing me towards him until I feel his breath on the back of my neck. I shiver and he tightens his hold on me. I turn around to face him, finally finding the courage to look him in the eye. I open my mouth, fully intent on telling him everything. Everything I’ve kept to myself all these years.
But then I’m pushing him away, freeing myself from his grasp and forcing my way out into the corridor. I don’t look back as I brake into a run; my only concern is getting out and away as fast as I can.
A part of me hopes that Ryan will follow me, but in my heart I know that he won’t.
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Escaping the confines of the hotel lobby, I walk quickly to the side of the building and lean up against the wall, feeling the roughness of the brick scratch the side of my face. I close my eyes and take steadying breaths, replaying what had just occurred over again and again in my mind, until all I’m left with is one simple, clear image. Am image so potent that I feel my heart break under the weight of it. In my mind I see Ryan, standing alone in the doorway to his hotel room, staring at the empty space in front of him.
I see him standing and waiting, waiting to see if I would have the courage to return to him and say what it was that I needed to say.
All these years I thought that it was me who was waiting for him, waiting for him to notice me and realise how I felt about him. But now I know that all the time I was waiting for him, he had been right here beside me.
I couldn’t believe how much time I’d wasted, waiting.
I didn’t want to waste another minute...
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
THE END
So, yeah. This is a song fic.
Title: Right Here Waiting. Based on the song by Richard Marx
Pairing: Brad/Ryan
Disclaimer: Dont own anything
Notes: Brad's POV. And it's really bad :)
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
The taping ends and we all step out onto the stage. Drew gets up to join us, shaking hands and clapping backs, congratulating everyone on another job well done. Colin and Ryan grin at each other, familiar looks passing between them without the need for words. Wayne jumps up and down on the balls of his feet, still rolling on the high of a perfect performance. I step towards Drew and he pats me on the shoulder, still laughing at a joke I had made earlier in the show. I laugh back, cocking my head to the side in a half shrug of self-modesty, waving off his appraisal.
I turn towards the back to face Wayne, smiling warmly to him as I strike up a conversation. Opposite me I see Ryan do the same, moving backwards while still talking to Colin so that he now stands beside me, his shoulder brushing mine. Neither of us acknowledges the other, as we stand side by side, the feel of his arm brushing mine sending shivers shooting up and down my spine. My skin tingles with every contact. I wish he would turn and talk to me but I don’t dare look at him, and he gives no indication of wanting to start a conversation.
And so I remain, routed to the spot, right at his side, unable to catch my breath.
After the show a few of us go to a bar, cold beer and loud laughter flowing well into the night. We gather outside, in a garden at the back, illuminated by soft lamps and canopies of small twinkling lights. I sit and frown at the bottle in my hand, watching as drops of water snake down the side to collect in the creases of my hand. The noise around me ebbs and flows as people laugh and argue, debating politics and current affairs, books and films. I feel separated from it all, with only a minimal amount of questions being aimed in my direction. Ryan sits opposite me, his long, jean clad legs stretched out towards mine, a beer of his own resting on the table beside him. He’s chatting easily to the others, arms gesturing around himself wildly, heart and soul of the party.
A break in the conversation and Colin gets up to find the bathroom while Drew goes for another round. Ryan, leaning back confidently in his seat, picks up his beer and lifts it to his lips, taking a long drink. Hooded eyes meet mine over the dark green bottle and I find myself unable to avoid his piercing gaze. Seconds pass and I know I’m caught, like a startled deer in headlights, for once unable to conceal the emotions pulsing through my body. My heart starts to race until I can feel it pumping solidly against my rib cage, hard and fast. My breath hitches and a ringing noise begins to build in my ears, peeling away like a bell. My grip tightens and then suddenly loosens and I watch with distracted fascination as my beer bottle falls to the ground and clatters over the stones, spraying amber liquid over my shoes and the bottoms of Ryan’s jeans.
Silence follows and then with a loud popping noise the rest of the world comes rushing back in. Drew, upon returning from the bar with a tray in his hands, laughs at me and asks me how much I’ve had to drink. He rolls his eyes at Ryan as if sharing some unspoken joke and I feel my face heat up in an uncharacteristic blush. Beside me, a returning Colin bends down to pick up the bottle and stands it beside Ryan on the table, shaking his head and grinning at the laughter around him. Before Colin can sit back down however Ryan quickly stands and changes seats, plonking himself next to me. He shoves me playfully with his shoulder and grabs a fresh bottle of beer from Drew’s tray, handing it over to me. As he does his fingers gently brush mine, leaving me feeling light-headed and giddy.
For the rest of the night he doesn’t leave my side.
Ocean's apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
It’s late when we make the drunken stumble back to the hotel. Ryan, swaying slightly on his feet, throws an arm around my shoulder and pulls me along with him, touching my chest with his other hand and leaning towards me to whisper in my ear, his breath, hot and sweet, tickling the side of my neck. I breathe deeply, inhaling his scent, an intoxicating mixture of alcohol, tobacco, cologne, and another smell that I can only describe as distinctly and essentially Ryan. I close my eyes for a moment and wonder how he would taste, allowing a small moan to escape my lips. I open my eyes again to find Ryan starring at me, and I blush for the second time that night, my heart pounding. But he just looks at me knowingly and slips his arm down to settle around my waist.
Together we hold each other up.
Back at the hotel I traverse the never ending corridors, all identical and frustratingly long, as I search for Ryan’s room. It had quickly become a one person operation as Ryan gave into his drunkenness and slumped against me, and I struggled to hold him up. As I neared Ryan’s door I turned to ask the others for help and was surprised to find myself alone. Shaking my head I begin to search Ryan’s pockets for his key-card, finally locating it and sliding it into the lock. As the door clicks open I pull Ryan with me and into the room, kicking the door shut with my foot.
Inside the room it's quiet and warm, and I pause a moment to gaze at the man in my arms. His face is peaceful, his eyes closed, his long lashes gently resting on the down of his cheek. I reach a hand up to touch his face, leaning close to him to whisper his name. At first nothing happens and I’m about to move him towards the bed, when he opens his eyes slowly and stares at me, a small smile on his lips.
‘Brad?’ He asks and I nod, watching as he smiles again and then slowly closes his eyes, becoming dead weight in my arms. I grunt with the sudden effort, but manage to place him gently onto the bed. Then I sit back and look at him, letting the extent of my emotions flow to the surface to engulf me.
He looks so beautiful, lying there, and it takes my breath away. After a moment I look down at the floor, unable to stand the sight any more. I get up and walk across the room, pacing back and forth, unsure of what to do despite having been in this situation so many times before.
Why is it always me Ryan? I want to ask. Why me? Why not Colin, or Greg, or Drew? Why, after the laugher has died down, and the beer has gone warm and flat, and the last of the night has been swept away, do you always end up in my arms?
And why can I never do a single thing about it?
I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Hours later, a stirring in the bed has me opening my eyes. The first rays of sunlight are falling in streaks across the warn carpet and the comforting sounds of a city awakening can be heard faintly beyond the closed windows. My back’s sore from spending the night in the hotel room’s only chair and I grimace slightly and try to stretch. From the other side of the room comes a resounding groan, followed by a few mumbled curses as Ryan sits up and looks around him. He glances down at the clothes he’s wearing and then over at me with a frown.
‘Brad?’ He asks, a repeat of his last word from the night before.
‘Yeah’ I answer him, sitting up with a sigh and running a hand down my face. I look up at Ryan to find him staring right back at me.
‘You stayed here all night?’
The only reply I can manage is a shrug as Ryan continues to stare at me, the expression on his face unreadable.
‘Why?’ He says finally, leaving me to struggle for the right thing to say, to explain why I do this day after day. But he’s never asked before, and even though I’d imagined telling him hundreds of times, I find that in reality I am unable to find the words. I feel my body start to shake and I push myself up and out of the chair so quickly I almost knock it over.
‘I better go.’ I mumble, stumbling to the door, yanking it open and bathing for a moment in the wash of cool air that hits me as I exit the room. Just as I step into the hall however a hand grabs me by the wrist and holds me tight, not pulling me back but not letting me go. I don’t turn around, but instead fix my eyes on the floor, anything to distract myself from the maddening feeling of fingers gently stroking the inside of my wrist.
‘Why are you here Brad?’ Ryan asks me, the stroking turning to a tender caress as he entwines his fingers with mine. I barely dare myself to breath for fear of breaking the spell.
‘I...’ I begin, starting to shake as Ryan pulls me gently backwards, his arm moving across my chest to hold me gently. I still refuse to look at him.
‘You, what?’ Ryan murmurs, his voice gently coaxing me towards him until I feel his breath on the back of my neck. I shiver and he tightens his hold on me. I turn around to face him, finally finding the courage to look him in the eye. I open my mouth, fully intent on telling him everything. Everything I’ve kept to myself all these years.
But then I’m pushing him away, freeing myself from his grasp and forcing my way out into the corridor. I don’t look back as I brake into a run; my only concern is getting out and away as fast as I can.
A part of me hopes that Ryan will follow me, but in my heart I know that he won’t.
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Escaping the confines of the hotel lobby, I walk quickly to the side of the building and lean up against the wall, feeling the roughness of the brick scratch the side of my face. I close my eyes and take steadying breaths, replaying what had just occurred over again and again in my mind, until all I’m left with is one simple, clear image. Am image so potent that I feel my heart break under the weight of it. In my mind I see Ryan, standing alone in the doorway to his hotel room, staring at the empty space in front of him.
I see him standing and waiting, waiting to see if I would have the courage to return to him and say what it was that I needed to say.
All these years I thought that it was me who was waiting for him, waiting for him to notice me and realise how I felt about him. But now I know that all the time I was waiting for him, he had been right here beside me.
I couldn’t believe how much time I’d wasted, waiting.
I didn’t want to waste another minute...
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
THE END