Need to Talk
Okay, so I haven't got any fics or icons or owt for anyone...But I just feel really depressed right now coz of a mixture of stuff, some trivial...or stuff that *should* be trivial, and if I don't get this of my chest in one long thing now i'm just gonna feel worse. I'm posting here mainly coz I never use my journal anymore and I kinda think I need confirmation i've not totally lost it by the end, and in this comm I feel relativly safe...
I should probably start from the beginning.
I have ME. This stands for...well...I'd have to look that up on google and I can't be bothered now. But basically it means Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Which probably clears that up. I also have arthritus in my arms, hands, wrists and occasionally my left leg. And I have tonsillitus.
I sound like a right basket case, huh?
Anyway, I feel tired all the time and I could go into a list of things about what else...But I won't coz it will take too long and it can get hard to describe. But apparently the stuff adds up to me being techically disabled...I can't really put into words how I feel about that...So I'm not gonna even try...
...So I was talking to my friend Sy from Norway earlier. I met her through the CSI LJ boards - mostly the David Hodges one, but she loves WLIIA too. She was going to come to Manchester in May and so we could hang out a bit. But she's not sure if she can afford to now coz her economy's taken a bit of a negative plunge, but she's still hoping to be able to come, so I was a bit disappointed in case she can't but not such a big deal - Plenty of time for things to change.
Then was the labbers!meeting - Now I should probably fill some background on this. Labbers is a CSI Role Play group set up by Mica who didn't get on with the owners of the main CSI RP group on LJ.
There's not many of us - me, Mica, Sy then Sporky, Tania, Heather and in the last couple of days a guy called Greg and a friend of Mica's called Clarrisi or something like that has joined.
We all get on well enough, though I'm only friends really with Sy and Mica, then to a lesser extent Sporkie - I only talk to the others during RP or in labbers meetings really.
Anyway. Because Amber, the girl who played David Hodges left. Sy and Mica had been discussing sometime yesterday about Sy taking over David temporarily till someone new was found (Sy already plays Ecklie and an original character called Olga - Ecklie's Grandmother)and so we were asked...Though people got confused in ways I don't understand and Mica got stressed out. Sy managed to clear things up by explaining and we had a vote.
It was decided she would take David over till we found someone else. And then Sy asked Mica to confirm whether labbers!David! was gay or if he could be bi...And Mica got mad saying she knew the rules when she joined and not to question them...etc...
Sy was like "What rules?" - Because she really didn't know. Mica insisted that on joining she had told everyone that Greg and Nick could be bi, Warrick was straight and Tony & David were purely Gay, etc...Though Sy has confirmed she really didn't say that by going over old msn convos.
Anyway Mica got upset and left. I was like "wtf happened?" Sy was like "WTF HAPPENED!?!?" Heather was like "i'm not getting involved" and Tania was acting as Mica's eyes and ears in the convo. I sent a message to Mica asking if she was okay but she didn't reply. Though she had said about doing other things before leaving.
We talk about it for a bit, and Synne's really upset coz she wasn't challenging anything she just basically wanted to know how to play the character. So if anything she was asking what the rules were, not going against them and Mica.
*Sigh* So after a bit I get a bit worried and I go to the convo I'd opened to Mica and just said "Mica?" - To ask if she was there, and suddenly I get a "WHAT?" then she starts going on about how she's closing labbers! - at least to people who don't like her and her rules. That upset me coz I hadn't done anything as far as I knew, and she said no I hadn't done anything but - and I quote: "you are part of her, so if she doesnt like my rules and has to leave, you and sporkie must go too, so as not to fight"
I wouldn't fight - Nothing to fight over I mean it was a giant argument over a misunderstanding and I was barely even involved! And Sporkie wasn't even in the convo! But even though I didn't tell her, that sentence made me angry. because it implies that I am only Sy's friend not her's and also that me and Sporkie can't even think for ourselves and are Sy's minions or something.
Anyway, it's semi sorted out in the sense nobody's leaving or anything like that. But I've apologised for doing nothing. Mica refused to accept she over reacted and Sy has repeated that she isn't challenging Mica till she's blue in the face...Basically it's now being swept under the carpet. But Sy said after she knew a big argument was coming, she just didn't think it would be over something as trivial as asking if David was gay or bi in labbers!
But Mica is very touchy about David, she sees him as being 100% gay so she hates the fact the writers are making him more and more straight and that the rest of us mostly see him as bi.
Plus there's this other problem. Mica doesn't agree with how one of us (not Sy, or me but I don't want to name in case they mirculacly...or however it's spelt, finds this post) plays their character. And basically Mica had this big convo the other day with us, excluding said person, about saying "we'll keep her till we find someone else" which is a bit hypocritical considering she also says everyone in labbers! is like a family.
I don't mind how the girl plays the character, I'm not bothered either way, but I thought it unfair to discuss her behind her back, though I didn't make a big deal of it. Sy was a bit more vocal of that fact and I think that's when things started to break down. Coz Mica sees *any* difference in opinion as an actual act of mutiny.
Anyway. Moving on slightly I felt *extremely* tired by the time the meeting started. after the argument/meeting I felt exhausted and on the verge of tears/passing out, coz I'm slightly hormonal at the minute which doesn't help. But also coz of the argument and randomness of me getting attacked too, I got a migrane and my arthritus got really bad...Still is so probably writing this wasn't the *best* idea in the world...
Though there's other things too - Sess forwarded me an email from someone on whose line slash...again don't think I should mention her name. (let's face it, we're almost all girls)Anyways, she basically was saying how she's planning on leaving the whose line slash comm because of the way it's changed and is becoming overrun by defensive ryan/colin slashers who don't accept other OTP's well and she's feeling unwelcome.
I don't post a lot there but it is quite a bit...unwelcoming - One girl got scared away just because she used a bit of txt speak in a bubbly happy post about meeting the others.
My OTP is Greg/Ryan as some of you will know, but I've barely done anything on them - Partly because of Sess and her brain washing obsession with Brad/Ryan, and partly because I've felt kind of uneasy about writing stuff for them for the slash comm...but when I think about it, it was a bit of an unconsious feeling. Like an inner warning system - That had also something to do with why I stopped writing a Greg and Chip fic - Eventhough both stay straight, but they kiss...It's complicated...I had a feeling it wouldn't be welcome well, and people there seem to really hate Chip - and Chip/Jeff, which is hot so is good in my books.
Anyway, the idea came up in the email to create a more friendly slash place as it were, Sess asked if I'd do it as the girl didn't want to have to do it. I'd thought of making one actually - Well, a Greg/Ryan one, but I'm happy to mod a friendly general OTP WLIIA place instead - for het pairings as well as slash, coz believe it or not there are a few liked het pairings out there and it would make the place more neutal...Probably set it up at some point in the next few days and I'll try to be as up to date and such as I can with it.
Though the email made me a bit more depressed too as it makes me wonder if can't any of my major LJ fandoms stay friends...At least here is still 'safe'.
And there's also the fact my cat Lucy is ill - nothing serious, just the cat equivilent of flu I think, but she threw up a few times then hid under my duvet sleeping all afternoon before venturing out to eat grass and follow my brother around like a little lost lamb.
Okay I think that's everything, I apologise for the really long rant,that probably makes little sense. I just had to get it out. And now I think my right hand is gonna fall off with pain...Or i'll collapse with exhaustion...Or my head will explode from the migrane/confusion...It's hard to say which will happen first...
I should probably start from the beginning.
I have ME. This stands for...well...I'd have to look that up on google and I can't be bothered now. But basically it means Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Which probably clears that up. I also have arthritus in my arms, hands, wrists and occasionally my left leg. And I have tonsillitus.
I sound like a right basket case, huh?
Anyway, I feel tired all the time and I could go into a list of things about what else...But I won't coz it will take too long and it can get hard to describe. But apparently the stuff adds up to me being techically disabled...I can't really put into words how I feel about that...So I'm not gonna even try...
...So I was talking to my friend Sy from Norway earlier. I met her through the CSI LJ boards - mostly the David Hodges one, but she loves WLIIA too. She was going to come to Manchester in May and so we could hang out a bit. But she's not sure if she can afford to now coz her economy's taken a bit of a negative plunge, but she's still hoping to be able to come, so I was a bit disappointed in case she can't but not such a big deal - Plenty of time for things to change.
Then was the labbers!meeting - Now I should probably fill some background on this. Labbers is a CSI Role Play group set up by Mica who didn't get on with the owners of the main CSI RP group on LJ.
There's not many of us - me, Mica, Sy then Sporky, Tania, Heather and in the last couple of days a guy called Greg and a friend of Mica's called Clarrisi or something like that has joined.
We all get on well enough, though I'm only friends really with Sy and Mica, then to a lesser extent Sporkie - I only talk to the others during RP or in labbers meetings really.
Anyway. Because Amber, the girl who played David Hodges left. Sy and Mica had been discussing sometime yesterday about Sy taking over David temporarily till someone new was found (Sy already plays Ecklie and an original character called Olga - Ecklie's Grandmother)and so we were asked...Though people got confused in ways I don't understand and Mica got stressed out. Sy managed to clear things up by explaining and we had a vote.
It was decided she would take David over till we found someone else. And then Sy asked Mica to confirm whether labbers!David! was gay or if he could be bi...And Mica got mad saying she knew the rules when she joined and not to question them...etc...
Sy was like "What rules?" - Because she really didn't know. Mica insisted that on joining she had told everyone that Greg and Nick could be bi, Warrick was straight and Tony & David were purely Gay, etc...Though Sy has confirmed she really didn't say that by going over old msn convos.
Anyway Mica got upset and left. I was like "wtf happened?" Sy was like "WTF HAPPENED!?!?" Heather was like "i'm not getting involved" and Tania was acting as Mica's eyes and ears in the convo. I sent a message to Mica asking if she was okay but she didn't reply. Though she had said about doing other things before leaving.
We talk about it for a bit, and Synne's really upset coz she wasn't challenging anything she just basically wanted to know how to play the character. So if anything she was asking what the rules were, not going against them and Mica.
*Sigh* So after a bit I get a bit worried and I go to the convo I'd opened to Mica and just said "Mica?" - To ask if she was there, and suddenly I get a "WHAT?" then she starts going on about how she's closing labbers! - at least to people who don't like her and her rules. That upset me coz I hadn't done anything as far as I knew, and she said no I hadn't done anything but - and I quote: "you are part of her, so if she doesnt like my rules and has to leave, you and sporkie must go too, so as not to fight"
I wouldn't fight - Nothing to fight over I mean it was a giant argument over a misunderstanding and I was barely even involved! And Sporkie wasn't even in the convo! But even though I didn't tell her, that sentence made me angry. because it implies that I am only Sy's friend not her's and also that me and Sporkie can't even think for ourselves and are Sy's minions or something.
Anyway, it's semi sorted out in the sense nobody's leaving or anything like that. But I've apologised for doing nothing. Mica refused to accept she over reacted and Sy has repeated that she isn't challenging Mica till she's blue in the face...Basically it's now being swept under the carpet. But Sy said after she knew a big argument was coming, she just didn't think it would be over something as trivial as asking if David was gay or bi in labbers!
But Mica is very touchy about David, she sees him as being 100% gay so she hates the fact the writers are making him more and more straight and that the rest of us mostly see him as bi.
Plus there's this other problem. Mica doesn't agree with how one of us (not Sy, or me but I don't want to name in case they mirculacly...or however it's spelt, finds this post) plays their character. And basically Mica had this big convo the other day with us, excluding said person, about saying "we'll keep her till we find someone else" which is a bit hypocritical considering she also says everyone in labbers! is like a family.
I don't mind how the girl plays the character, I'm not bothered either way, but I thought it unfair to discuss her behind her back, though I didn't make a big deal of it. Sy was a bit more vocal of that fact and I think that's when things started to break down. Coz Mica sees *any* difference in opinion as an actual act of mutiny.
Anyway. Moving on slightly I felt *extremely* tired by the time the meeting started. after the argument/meeting I felt exhausted and on the verge of tears/passing out, coz I'm slightly hormonal at the minute which doesn't help. But also coz of the argument and randomness of me getting attacked too, I got a migrane and my arthritus got really bad...Still is so probably writing this wasn't the *best* idea in the world...
Though there's other things too - Sess forwarded me an email from someone on whose line slash...again don't think I should mention her name. (let's face it, we're almost all girls)Anyways, she basically was saying how she's planning on leaving the whose line slash comm because of the way it's changed and is becoming overrun by defensive ryan/colin slashers who don't accept other OTP's well and she's feeling unwelcome.
I don't post a lot there but it is quite a bit...unwelcoming - One girl got scared away just because she used a bit of txt speak in a bubbly happy post about meeting the others.
My OTP is Greg/Ryan as some of you will know, but I've barely done anything on them - Partly because of Sess and her brain washing obsession with Brad/Ryan, and partly because I've felt kind of uneasy about writing stuff for them for the slash comm...but when I think about it, it was a bit of an unconsious feeling. Like an inner warning system - That had also something to do with why I stopped writing a Greg and Chip fic - Eventhough both stay straight, but they kiss...It's complicated...I had a feeling it wouldn't be welcome well, and people there seem to really hate Chip - and Chip/Jeff, which is hot so is good in my books.
Anyway, the idea came up in the email to create a more friendly slash place as it were, Sess asked if I'd do it as the girl didn't want to have to do it. I'd thought of making one actually - Well, a Greg/Ryan one, but I'm happy to mod a friendly general OTP WLIIA place instead - for het pairings as well as slash, coz believe it or not there are a few liked het pairings out there and it would make the place more neutal...Probably set it up at some point in the next few days and I'll try to be as up to date and such as I can with it.
Though the email made me a bit more depressed too as it makes me wonder if can't any of my major LJ fandoms stay friends...At least here is still 'safe'.
And there's also the fact my cat Lucy is ill - nothing serious, just the cat equivilent of flu I think, but she threw up a few times then hid under my duvet sleeping all afternoon before venturing out to eat grass and follow my brother around like a little lost lamb.
Okay I think that's everything, I apologise for the really long rant,that probably makes little sense. I just had to get it out. And now I think my right hand is gonna fall off with pain...Or i'll collapse with exhaustion...Or my head will explode from the migrane/confusion...It's hard to say which will happen first...