Don't Make This Easy (Chapter 24)
Title: Don't Make This Easy
Author: sherrycookies
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/ Jack Barakat
Rating: R
Summary: Alex is the new tutor at a new job in a new place far from home in Victorian England. What happens when he starts to get unwanted feelings toward his new master?
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low, blah blah blah.
“You’ll love it at Morton. It’s a small town in the countryside, you’ll barely notice it. The school itself is the only thing it’s well known for,” Stephen said. He was a really talkative fellow; literally the opposite of Alex. To him, this man was still basically a stranger. He may have told Alex his life story, but Alex hadn’t told him his. The only person who really got to know him was Jack, and he was gone.
“I’m really looking forward to it,” Alex said, smiling. The kid was happy, Alex would give him that. It was refreshing to meet someone who had such a positive and optimistic view on life.
They conversed for the entire trip, which wasn’t that long. Mostly, it was Stephen babbling on about something, with Alex nodding every once in a while. But he didn’t mind; he had always preferred to listen anyways. It was rare that he had anything interesting to say anyways.
“Hey! Alex, we’re here,” the blonde exclaimed once they pulled up in front of the school. It was an old stone building. Ivy grew over the aged slabs of stone and the building poked out from a mass of trees, giving it a quaint and peaceful atmosphere in the bright sunlight.
“It’s beautiful,” Alex breathed.
“Right?” He grinned. “I love this place! Let’s go inside, okay? Oh, and I still don’t know your full name.”
Shit.
“Alexander Gartner,” he lied. There was no way someone from Thornfield would track him down to Morton by using his name.
“Right this way, Mr. Gartner,” he mocked playfully. “I’ll introduce you to the kids!”
Since Morton was a charity school, the kids did not pay to go. The school received funds from private donors. The students themselves had at least one parent dead, and were sent to the school because they had nowhere else to go. The school however was an all-boys school; there was an all-girls charity school a little further away.
The students shared similar stories with Alex. Most of them had no other family to go to, and were often children of the lowest class. Although most of the boys were rowdy and restless, some of them were quite intelligent.
Those students had even taken a liking to him. In total, there were fifty of them, in one classroom. They had to share books, and there were never enough writing boards to go around. Sure, he was used to more supplies and teaching one student at a time and it was difficult to cope with the new setup. When he only had one pupil, he got to know her personally, but with fifty times that, it was more difficult to.
Stephen lived with him in a small cottage on school grounds. Originally, the other man had lived alone, and he was now grateful for Alex’s company. The two men had begun to grow quite close living in such close proximity.
Alex liked him. He was never one to have many friends, and it was difficult to get close to him anyways because he was so guarded mentally. But he enjoyed the attention the other man was giving him and it made him forget about the life he left. Almost.
The following months were passed by slowly. Autumn faded into winter, bringing with it the numbing cold that Alex had gotten used it. It was usually fairly cold in England anyways. The whole world seemed to go into hibernation, and he and Stephen usually spent their evenings reading by the fire together.
It was one of such nights when Alex broke the silence, telling the other man something that had been bothering him for weeks, when he had a sudden epiphany: he didn’t like teaching the kids. To be honest, he thought it was degrading that he had to wake up early just to be mocked by the ignorant children. Some of them weren’t too bad, considering they were often too shy to speak, but the rudeness stood out to him and he didn’t like it. Coming from a higher position, it was jarring to see the differences. It wasn’t that he was snobby and arrogant, but rather that teaching here seemed like a waste of time. Though he didn’t like it there, he couldn’t leave; he had nowhere to go. And it wasn’t like he was just going to ditch his new friend in a place where one could go insane from loneliness.
He said all this while Stephen listened thoughtfully, never taking his bright blue eyes off him.
“I know how you feel. I literally felt the same way when I first worked here, and it isn’t an exciting job, believe me. The pay isn’t that great and the work is degrading. But have some pity on these kids; they’ve been through a lot. An education is probably the last thing on their minds.”
“I know, and like I said, I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.”
But not a day went by that he doesn’t think about Jack.
Jack; the idiot he fell in love with. He had told himself over and over that he’d forget about him; that he’d have to move on. That things were better this way. That he was better off without him.
But he could only lie to himself for so long.
He had nightmares that he couldn’t explain. There was one in particular where he would be running down a long winding road with no end carrying a crying baby. Then he would hear some crying out his name and he was so surprised he dropped the child and then he woke up.
Some nights he went sleepless because he’d rather be exhausted than to experience that dream again. One day, Alex was fighting to stay awake in a chair when Stephen noticed him.
“Hey, something wrong?” He asked, concern showing in his eyes.
“No, uh, well, just tired,” Alex murmured, closing his eyes for a brief moment.
“You should go to bed. Don’t tire yourself out.”
“Hmm. I guess so,” he mumbled, eyes drooping.
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you this. Do you have a copy of Romeo and Juliet? I can’t seem to find mine.”
He did, in fact, have a copy of the play. The one that Jack had given him. He had stuffed it carelessly into his bag that fateful night, thinking it was one of his own. It wasn’t until only a few weeks ago that he rediscovered it, bringing back a slew of painful memories. “Yeah, I have one.” He reached down beside him, retrieving the novel. “Here,” he tossed it carelessly towards his general direction.
“Ooof!” He heard a thud and a groan. “Watch where you’re throwing things!”
Alex smiled slightly with his eyes closed. “You should ’a caught it, ya lazy bum.”
“I did! With my stomach!”
He almost laughed at how childlike his friend sounded. It was adorable. Sure, he did have a certain fondness for the other man, mostly because he was so innocent, yet he was older than Alex. He didn’t exactly feel the way towards him as he did Jack, but it wouldn’t be a stretch to say he had an innocent crush on him. Yeah, he was still broken up over his previous relationship and this was probably his brain’s way of telling him he was lonely, but he didn’t care. All he knew was that Stephen was more of a friend and less of a lover. And he was perfectly okay with that.
Stephen wasn’t exactly gay, but he wasn’t straight. Alex had learned from him that he had only had a few girlfriends, and they weren’t serious. He hadn’t even slept with anyone yet.
Fuck, Alex didn’t like using the words “gay” or “straight.” What did it matter what one’s sexuality was? It’s not like it affected personality. He didn’t like to classify anyone as anything. Weren’t they all just human?
He didn’t tell Stephen anything about his history, either. It’s not that he didn’t trust the boy; it was that he’d rather not talk about it. He was still technically “on the run,” wasn’t he? He didn’t want to risk being recognized as the man who ran away. And he didn’t really know how Stephen would take it, either. Better yet, he should just keep his mouth shut until the time came.
The blonde had opened Alex’s book and look at the inside front cover. He wasn’t bad looking, either. His light hair had taken on a slight amber tone in the dancing firelight, his blue eyes reflecting the flickering flames. His cheeks were a little pudgy, giving him a boyish look and making him seem younger than he really was. He had thick eyebrows just like Alex and a small nose. His lips were curved in a permanent grin.
His eyes suddenly lit up as he scanned over the page. He closed the book and got up quickly. Thinking Alex was asleep, he hurried upstairs and Alex heard the slam of a door.
He was too tired to be concerned for his friend. His mind was already foggy with the effects of staying awake and he soon nodded off, legs thrown over the side of one of the arms of the chair and head leaning against the soft plush of the back.
For the first time in nearly a week, Alex slept soundly.
A/N: Hey guys! Two weeks for this boring update? My apologies, but hey, I've been a little busy with things. I'm on break (yet again) so I'll try to write more, but there's only so much I can do.
ALSO I posted a one shot last week. You should totes read it by clicking here
Crushes are stupid. Like feelings are stupid. The world is stupid. Nothing makes sense. Everything is complicated. Stop it, brain.
I'm going to see ATL, PTV, MP, and YMAS in less than two weeks eeek. Let's see if I can be 3 weeks clean for them.
Parents are pissed because I don't have straight A's. Sorry for that B, ma.
I enjoy posting random entries when I'm feeling down. It really helps. This website rules.
Please comment on this. I love feedback. You're amazing.
Author: sherrycookies
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/ Jack Barakat
Rating: R
Summary: Alex is the new tutor at a new job in a new place far from home in Victorian England. What happens when he starts to get unwanted feelings toward his new master?
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low, blah blah blah.
“You’ll love it at Morton. It’s a small town in the countryside, you’ll barely notice it. The school itself is the only thing it’s well known for,” Stephen said. He was a really talkative fellow; literally the opposite of Alex. To him, this man was still basically a stranger. He may have told Alex his life story, but Alex hadn’t told him his. The only person who really got to know him was Jack, and he was gone.
“I’m really looking forward to it,” Alex said, smiling. The kid was happy, Alex would give him that. It was refreshing to meet someone who had such a positive and optimistic view on life.
They conversed for the entire trip, which wasn’t that long. Mostly, it was Stephen babbling on about something, with Alex nodding every once in a while. But he didn’t mind; he had always preferred to listen anyways. It was rare that he had anything interesting to say anyways.
“Hey! Alex, we’re here,” the blonde exclaimed once they pulled up in front of the school. It was an old stone building. Ivy grew over the aged slabs of stone and the building poked out from a mass of trees, giving it a quaint and peaceful atmosphere in the bright sunlight.
“It’s beautiful,” Alex breathed.
“Right?” He grinned. “I love this place! Let’s go inside, okay? Oh, and I still don’t know your full name.”
Shit.
“Alexander Gartner,” he lied. There was no way someone from Thornfield would track him down to Morton by using his name.
“Right this way, Mr. Gartner,” he mocked playfully. “I’ll introduce you to the kids!”
Since Morton was a charity school, the kids did not pay to go. The school received funds from private donors. The students themselves had at least one parent dead, and were sent to the school because they had nowhere else to go. The school however was an all-boys school; there was an all-girls charity school a little further away.
The students shared similar stories with Alex. Most of them had no other family to go to, and were often children of the lowest class. Although most of the boys were rowdy and restless, some of them were quite intelligent.
Those students had even taken a liking to him. In total, there were fifty of them, in one classroom. They had to share books, and there were never enough writing boards to go around. Sure, he was used to more supplies and teaching one student at a time and it was difficult to cope with the new setup. When he only had one pupil, he got to know her personally, but with fifty times that, it was more difficult to.
Stephen lived with him in a small cottage on school grounds. Originally, the other man had lived alone, and he was now grateful for Alex’s company. The two men had begun to grow quite close living in such close proximity.
Alex liked him. He was never one to have many friends, and it was difficult to get close to him anyways because he was so guarded mentally. But he enjoyed the attention the other man was giving him and it made him forget about the life he left. Almost.
The following months were passed by slowly. Autumn faded into winter, bringing with it the numbing cold that Alex had gotten used it. It was usually fairly cold in England anyways. The whole world seemed to go into hibernation, and he and Stephen usually spent their evenings reading by the fire together.
It was one of such nights when Alex broke the silence, telling the other man something that had been bothering him for weeks, when he had a sudden epiphany: he didn’t like teaching the kids. To be honest, he thought it was degrading that he had to wake up early just to be mocked by the ignorant children. Some of them weren’t too bad, considering they were often too shy to speak, but the rudeness stood out to him and he didn’t like it. Coming from a higher position, it was jarring to see the differences. It wasn’t that he was snobby and arrogant, but rather that teaching here seemed like a waste of time. Though he didn’t like it there, he couldn’t leave; he had nowhere to go. And it wasn’t like he was just going to ditch his new friend in a place where one could go insane from loneliness.
He said all this while Stephen listened thoughtfully, never taking his bright blue eyes off him.
“I know how you feel. I literally felt the same way when I first worked here, and it isn’t an exciting job, believe me. The pay isn’t that great and the work is degrading. But have some pity on these kids; they’ve been through a lot. An education is probably the last thing on their minds.”
“I know, and like I said, I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.”
But not a day went by that he doesn’t think about Jack.
Jack; the idiot he fell in love with. He had told himself over and over that he’d forget about him; that he’d have to move on. That things were better this way. That he was better off without him.
But he could only lie to himself for so long.
He had nightmares that he couldn’t explain. There was one in particular where he would be running down a long winding road with no end carrying a crying baby. Then he would hear some crying out his name and he was so surprised he dropped the child and then he woke up.
Some nights he went sleepless because he’d rather be exhausted than to experience that dream again. One day, Alex was fighting to stay awake in a chair when Stephen noticed him.
“Hey, something wrong?” He asked, concern showing in his eyes.
“No, uh, well, just tired,” Alex murmured, closing his eyes for a brief moment.
“You should go to bed. Don’t tire yourself out.”
“Hmm. I guess so,” he mumbled, eyes drooping.
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you this. Do you have a copy of Romeo and Juliet? I can’t seem to find mine.”
He did, in fact, have a copy of the play. The one that Jack had given him. He had stuffed it carelessly into his bag that fateful night, thinking it was one of his own. It wasn’t until only a few weeks ago that he rediscovered it, bringing back a slew of painful memories. “Yeah, I have one.” He reached down beside him, retrieving the novel. “Here,” he tossed it carelessly towards his general direction.
“Ooof!” He heard a thud and a groan. “Watch where you’re throwing things!”
Alex smiled slightly with his eyes closed. “You should ’a caught it, ya lazy bum.”
“I did! With my stomach!”
He almost laughed at how childlike his friend sounded. It was adorable. Sure, he did have a certain fondness for the other man, mostly because he was so innocent, yet he was older than Alex. He didn’t exactly feel the way towards him as he did Jack, but it wouldn’t be a stretch to say he had an innocent crush on him. Yeah, he was still broken up over his previous relationship and this was probably his brain’s way of telling him he was lonely, but he didn’t care. All he knew was that Stephen was more of a friend and less of a lover. And he was perfectly okay with that.
Stephen wasn’t exactly gay, but he wasn’t straight. Alex had learned from him that he had only had a few girlfriends, and they weren’t serious. He hadn’t even slept with anyone yet.
Fuck, Alex didn’t like using the words “gay” or “straight.” What did it matter what one’s sexuality was? It’s not like it affected personality. He didn’t like to classify anyone as anything. Weren’t they all just human?
He didn’t tell Stephen anything about his history, either. It’s not that he didn’t trust the boy; it was that he’d rather not talk about it. He was still technically “on the run,” wasn’t he? He didn’t want to risk being recognized as the man who ran away. And he didn’t really know how Stephen would take it, either. Better yet, he should just keep his mouth shut until the time came.
The blonde had opened Alex’s book and look at the inside front cover. He wasn’t bad looking, either. His light hair had taken on a slight amber tone in the dancing firelight, his blue eyes reflecting the flickering flames. His cheeks were a little pudgy, giving him a boyish look and making him seem younger than he really was. He had thick eyebrows just like Alex and a small nose. His lips were curved in a permanent grin.
His eyes suddenly lit up as he scanned over the page. He closed the book and got up quickly. Thinking Alex was asleep, he hurried upstairs and Alex heard the slam of a door.
He was too tired to be concerned for his friend. His mind was already foggy with the effects of staying awake and he soon nodded off, legs thrown over the side of one of the arms of the chair and head leaning against the soft plush of the back.
For the first time in nearly a week, Alex slept soundly.
A/N: Hey guys! Two weeks for this boring update? My apologies, but hey, I've been a little busy with things. I'm on break (yet again) so I'll try to write more, but there's only so much I can do.
ALSO I posted a one shot last week. You should totes read it by clicking here
Crushes are stupid. Like feelings are stupid. The world is stupid. Nothing makes sense. Everything is complicated. Stop it, brain.
I'm going to see ATL, PTV, MP, and YMAS in less than two weeks eeek. Let's see if I can be 3 weeks clean for them.
Parents are pissed because I don't have straight A's. Sorry for that B, ma.
I enjoy posting random entries when I'm feeling down. It really helps. This website rules.
Please comment on this. I love feedback. You're amazing.