Don't Make This Easy (Chapter 7)
Title: Don't Make This Easy
Author: sherrycookies
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/ Jack Barakat
Rating: R
Summary: Alex is the new tutor at a new job in a new place far from home in Victorian England. What happens when he starts to get unwanted feelings toward his new master?
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low, blah blah blah.
The following week was a living hell for Alex. It’s not that he hated everybody, or even what he did, it was just that he missed Jack. It was then he realized how much of a role Jack played in Alex’s life, and how much control he had over his feelings. Alex was still offended that his master didn’t even tell him that he was leaving; he didn’t even say goodbye.
“Alex, is something wrong?” Cassadee asked him one morning.
“No, I’m fine,” he replied indifferently.
“Something’s wrong, I’m sure of it. You’re acting as if somebody died. Does it have to do with Mr. Barakat?”
“I-“he began, but thought better of it. There was no use in lying to Cassadee; she saw right through it.
“Yes, it has to do with Mr. Barakat. He’s not here,” he pouted.
“Is that all? He’s hardly here as it is! He stays home less than thirty days out of a year. Honestly, I was surprised that he even remained at Thornfield for as long as he did. It has to do with you; I’m sure of it. I’ve never seen him fond of anybody else, much less as interested. He’ll be back soon, don’t worry. As long as he knows you’re here, he’ll return.”
“But, he didn’t even say goodbye.”
“So? All the things that he does are sudden and abrupt. He literally left a few minutes before you woke up. Even when he comes back, he’ll probably only give a few hours’ notice. He didn’t forget about you, don’t worry. He most likely didn’t want to disturb you, and he himself didn’t know that he would leave when you two spoke last night.”
Alex was slightly comforted by her words, and he knew she was right. “Thanks, Cass,” he mumbled before he headed for the library. He felt her eyes bore into his back, but he decided not to look back. There was no use, he decided.
“Good morning, Wendy,” he greeted his student when he walked in.
“Hi, Mr. Gaskarth! How are you?” She chirped happily.
“Fine, thanks.” Then he noticed the corner of a piece of paper tucked under a textbook on her desk. “Wendy, what’s that?”
“Oh, this?” She tugged out the piece of paper, but didn’t show it to him. Instead, she observed it. Then she smiled. “I drew you this. I heard that you were missing my Uncle Jack, so I wanted to make you something to remember him for.” Finally, she turned around the drawing so that it was facing Alex.
It was a surprisingly accurate drawing of Jack. Somehow, an eight-year-old-girl managed to capture Mr. Barakat’s strong profile in a drawing. No, it wasn’t perfect; some lines weren’t straight and it wasn’t realistic, but it was adorable that Wendy cared that much about her tutor.
“Wow, Wendy, this is really nice. H-how did you know about your uncle and me?”
She grinned knowingly. “Sir, everybody in this house knows about you and Uncle Jack. Really, it’s no secret. I just thought I’d make you something to remember him. Do you like it?”
“Y-yes. I love it. Thanks, Wendy,” he said, still in shock.
Cheerfully, she handed him the portrait and he carefully put it on his own desk to take upstairs to his room later. “Alright, so, do you have the homework I gave you yesterday?”
That night, Alex lay in his bed, staring at Wendy’s depiction of Jack. It was too early to go to bed, but too late to do anything else. He had no plans for the night, as his master was gone. He gave a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his brown locks. He hasn’t been this lonely since he left his family.
Suddenly, he sat up. No, he decided, he would find somebody to talk to tonight. He ran through his mental checklist of people in the house. Cassadee would most likely be with Wendy, so she was ruled out. Rian would probably be sleeping by now. Maria was always finding excuses; saying that she was busy or had other things to do, so she was ruled out too. Zack would be his best bet.
He sat up heavily and rubbed his eyes. He made his way to his small mirror and considered his appearance. No, Alex never had high self-esteem or self-confidence for that matter. Look in a mirror with him and he’d find a million things wrong with himself. He never told anybody about this, but he struggled through anxiety and depression ever since his brother died. He hated the fact that he needed to fake a smile and push through every day like it was a fucking battle that he was losing. What he liked most about Jack was that he at least let him forget. He made Alex forget about his issues and insecurities. Sure, Mr. Barakat never really praised him directly, because he simply did not know what Alex went through all the time, but he did make him escape from his hellhole of a brain for just a few hours every day. Maybe, that’s what he missed most about his friend. At least Jack and the rest of the servants made him feel like he was good enough.
He decided that there was nothing he could do about his appearance and headed out of his room. He concluded that Zack would, most likely, be in his room, which wasn’t far from his own. His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he approached Zack’s room.
He cautiously knocked on the door. He paused. A gruff “enter” came from inside, so he pushed open the door. Inside, Zack was sitting at a desk, glasses perched on his nose, and a small book open on his lap. “Do you need something, Alex?”
“Y-yeah. I just wanted to talk. It’s really lonely in my room,” he said.
“Well, come in. Have a seat,” he pointed to his bed. “Sorry, I only have one chair in here.”
Alex shut the door and sat down carefully on the bed and crossed his legs. “What are you reading?”
“Oh, this?” He turned the book over and showed Alex the cover. “Just Romeo and Juliet. You’ve read Shakespeare, haven’t you?”
“Yes. I’ve read a few of his works. Great playwright.”
“Brilliant playwright. Anyways, what can I do for you?”
“I was just feeling a little lonely, that’s all.”
“You miss Mr. Barakat?”
“Yes.”
Zack sighed, obviously, a little annoyed with having to deal with Alex about his feelings. “I’ve told you, Alex, he’ll be back soon.”
“Where did he go, again? I know he went to Millcote, but what’s he doing there?”
“Attending a gathering.”
“And…?”
“Okay, he’s there to see a few friends. I would assume the lovely Holly Madison would be there as well.”
“Who’s Holly Madison?”
“Oh, one of Mr. Barakat’s sweethearts. They’ve been friends for a long time; it wouldn’t surprise me if they did get married.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Oh, she’s stunning. She has beautiful long blonde hair and a flawless complexion. Yes, she’s a really stunning woman, perfect for Mr. Barakat. She’s of high status as well. Yes, they should be married. Mr. Barakat has been single for far too long, and Ms. Madison is single.”
Alex was dumfounded. Jack had never told him about this woman, Holly Madison. The immediate rush of anger and hatred for this woman almost knocked Alex over, leaving him breathless. He was surprised he could even hate someone so much, despite the fact that they had never met before. He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to relax and not draw any attention to himself.
Unfortunately, Zack did notice Alex’s obvious discomfort. “Are you all right?”
“Y-yeah. Just tired. I think I’ll go to bed now. Goodnight, Zack.”
“Goodnight, Alex. Try not to overthink anything.”
Alex got to his room as quickly as possible, before any tears leaked from his eyes. “Now, why the fuck are you crying, you child? Calm down,” he muttered to himself.
Finally alone, he collapsed onto his bed. He allowed a few drops to slip down his cheeks before he messily wiped them away. He sniffed, brushing his sleeve over his nose.
Gingerly, he approached his dresser, with a mirror perched on the top. He closed his eyes, imagining a woman based on Zack’s detailed description. What he imagined was a flawless, stunning, beautiful woman. He then opened his eyes and stared at his own reflection. He frowned at his plain brown hair and dark eyes. His stubble was starting to grow out again-he had not shaved in a few days. His eyebrows were too big. He lacked the natural gracefulness of a woman. No way would he ever amount to what he just pictured in his head.
What scared him the most was that he had no idea why he was overwrought over finding out that Jack may marry a woman. He saw this coming, didn’t he? Or did he secretly hope that he wouldn’t; allowing Alex to keep him all to himself. No, that’s absurd. Jack was destined to marry someone; a beautiful and wealthy woman.
And the hatred he felt for this, this alien, threatened to engulf him. It surprised him, considering he usually thought of himself as a person who loved everybody. But this woman, he had never even met her, let alone found a reason to loathe her as much as he did now. This feeling, however, was not new too much to him. He had felt it when a classmate did better on a test, or when a friend had a present from family, when he had never gotten one of his own. When some friends didn’t include him in a plan or a joke; when everybody seemed against him. What he felt, was it jealousy? Was he jealous of this woman, who seemed to have captured Mr. Barakat’s heart? Never, in his life, had he ever felt envy as strong as he did now. What was the source, the reason, for this resentment against Holly Madison?
Then it hit him like a ton of bricks: he was in love with Jack.
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been posting too much; I'm back in school now. The comments are getting less and less, and I feel like no one is reading this! D: I hope you all are having a nice day and are seeing All Time Low, Pierce The Veil, You Me At Six, and Mayday Parade on the Spring Fever Tour this spring! I'm jealous if you get to meet any of them, seriously. Comment please! <3
Author: sherrycookies
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/ Jack Barakat
Rating: R
Summary: Alex is the new tutor at a new job in a new place far from home in Victorian England. What happens when he starts to get unwanted feelings toward his new master?
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low, blah blah blah.
The following week was a living hell for Alex. It’s not that he hated everybody, or even what he did, it was just that he missed Jack. It was then he realized how much of a role Jack played in Alex’s life, and how much control he had over his feelings. Alex was still offended that his master didn’t even tell him that he was leaving; he didn’t even say goodbye.
“Alex, is something wrong?” Cassadee asked him one morning.
“No, I’m fine,” he replied indifferently.
“Something’s wrong, I’m sure of it. You’re acting as if somebody died. Does it have to do with Mr. Barakat?”
“I-“he began, but thought better of it. There was no use in lying to Cassadee; she saw right through it.
“Yes, it has to do with Mr. Barakat. He’s not here,” he pouted.
“Is that all? He’s hardly here as it is! He stays home less than thirty days out of a year. Honestly, I was surprised that he even remained at Thornfield for as long as he did. It has to do with you; I’m sure of it. I’ve never seen him fond of anybody else, much less as interested. He’ll be back soon, don’t worry. As long as he knows you’re here, he’ll return.”
“But, he didn’t even say goodbye.”
“So? All the things that he does are sudden and abrupt. He literally left a few minutes before you woke up. Even when he comes back, he’ll probably only give a few hours’ notice. He didn’t forget about you, don’t worry. He most likely didn’t want to disturb you, and he himself didn’t know that he would leave when you two spoke last night.”
Alex was slightly comforted by her words, and he knew she was right. “Thanks, Cass,” he mumbled before he headed for the library. He felt her eyes bore into his back, but he decided not to look back. There was no use, he decided.
“Good morning, Wendy,” he greeted his student when he walked in.
“Hi, Mr. Gaskarth! How are you?” She chirped happily.
“Fine, thanks.” Then he noticed the corner of a piece of paper tucked under a textbook on her desk. “Wendy, what’s that?”
“Oh, this?” She tugged out the piece of paper, but didn’t show it to him. Instead, she observed it. Then she smiled. “I drew you this. I heard that you were missing my Uncle Jack, so I wanted to make you something to remember him for.” Finally, she turned around the drawing so that it was facing Alex.
It was a surprisingly accurate drawing of Jack. Somehow, an eight-year-old-girl managed to capture Mr. Barakat’s strong profile in a drawing. No, it wasn’t perfect; some lines weren’t straight and it wasn’t realistic, but it was adorable that Wendy cared that much about her tutor.
“Wow, Wendy, this is really nice. H-how did you know about your uncle and me?”
She grinned knowingly. “Sir, everybody in this house knows about you and Uncle Jack. Really, it’s no secret. I just thought I’d make you something to remember him. Do you like it?”
“Y-yes. I love it. Thanks, Wendy,” he said, still in shock.
Cheerfully, she handed him the portrait and he carefully put it on his own desk to take upstairs to his room later. “Alright, so, do you have the homework I gave you yesterday?”
That night, Alex lay in his bed, staring at Wendy’s depiction of Jack. It was too early to go to bed, but too late to do anything else. He had no plans for the night, as his master was gone. He gave a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his brown locks. He hasn’t been this lonely since he left his family.
Suddenly, he sat up. No, he decided, he would find somebody to talk to tonight. He ran through his mental checklist of people in the house. Cassadee would most likely be with Wendy, so she was ruled out. Rian would probably be sleeping by now. Maria was always finding excuses; saying that she was busy or had other things to do, so she was ruled out too. Zack would be his best bet.
He sat up heavily and rubbed his eyes. He made his way to his small mirror and considered his appearance. No, Alex never had high self-esteem or self-confidence for that matter. Look in a mirror with him and he’d find a million things wrong with himself. He never told anybody about this, but he struggled through anxiety and depression ever since his brother died. He hated the fact that he needed to fake a smile and push through every day like it was a fucking battle that he was losing. What he liked most about Jack was that he at least let him forget. He made Alex forget about his issues and insecurities. Sure, Mr. Barakat never really praised him directly, because he simply did not know what Alex went through all the time, but he did make him escape from his hellhole of a brain for just a few hours every day. Maybe, that’s what he missed most about his friend. At least Jack and the rest of the servants made him feel like he was good enough.
He decided that there was nothing he could do about his appearance and headed out of his room. He concluded that Zack would, most likely, be in his room, which wasn’t far from his own. His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he approached Zack’s room.
He cautiously knocked on the door. He paused. A gruff “enter” came from inside, so he pushed open the door. Inside, Zack was sitting at a desk, glasses perched on his nose, and a small book open on his lap. “Do you need something, Alex?”
“Y-yeah. I just wanted to talk. It’s really lonely in my room,” he said.
“Well, come in. Have a seat,” he pointed to his bed. “Sorry, I only have one chair in here.”
Alex shut the door and sat down carefully on the bed and crossed his legs. “What are you reading?”
“Oh, this?” He turned the book over and showed Alex the cover. “Just Romeo and Juliet. You’ve read Shakespeare, haven’t you?”
“Yes. I’ve read a few of his works. Great playwright.”
“Brilliant playwright. Anyways, what can I do for you?”
“I was just feeling a little lonely, that’s all.”
“You miss Mr. Barakat?”
“Yes.”
Zack sighed, obviously, a little annoyed with having to deal with Alex about his feelings. “I’ve told you, Alex, he’ll be back soon.”
“Where did he go, again? I know he went to Millcote, but what’s he doing there?”
“Attending a gathering.”
“And…?”
“Okay, he’s there to see a few friends. I would assume the lovely Holly Madison would be there as well.”
“Who’s Holly Madison?”
“Oh, one of Mr. Barakat’s sweethearts. They’ve been friends for a long time; it wouldn’t surprise me if they did get married.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Oh, she’s stunning. She has beautiful long blonde hair and a flawless complexion. Yes, she’s a really stunning woman, perfect for Mr. Barakat. She’s of high status as well. Yes, they should be married. Mr. Barakat has been single for far too long, and Ms. Madison is single.”
Alex was dumfounded. Jack had never told him about this woman, Holly Madison. The immediate rush of anger and hatred for this woman almost knocked Alex over, leaving him breathless. He was surprised he could even hate someone so much, despite the fact that they had never met before. He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to relax and not draw any attention to himself.
Unfortunately, Zack did notice Alex’s obvious discomfort. “Are you all right?”
“Y-yeah. Just tired. I think I’ll go to bed now. Goodnight, Zack.”
“Goodnight, Alex. Try not to overthink anything.”
Alex got to his room as quickly as possible, before any tears leaked from his eyes. “Now, why the fuck are you crying, you child? Calm down,” he muttered to himself.
Finally alone, he collapsed onto his bed. He allowed a few drops to slip down his cheeks before he messily wiped them away. He sniffed, brushing his sleeve over his nose.
Gingerly, he approached his dresser, with a mirror perched on the top. He closed his eyes, imagining a woman based on Zack’s detailed description. What he imagined was a flawless, stunning, beautiful woman. He then opened his eyes and stared at his own reflection. He frowned at his plain brown hair and dark eyes. His stubble was starting to grow out again-he had not shaved in a few days. His eyebrows were too big. He lacked the natural gracefulness of a woman. No way would he ever amount to what he just pictured in his head.
What scared him the most was that he had no idea why he was overwrought over finding out that Jack may marry a woman. He saw this coming, didn’t he? Or did he secretly hope that he wouldn’t; allowing Alex to keep him all to himself. No, that’s absurd. Jack was destined to marry someone; a beautiful and wealthy woman.
And the hatred he felt for this, this alien, threatened to engulf him. It surprised him, considering he usually thought of himself as a person who loved everybody. But this woman, he had never even met her, let alone found a reason to loathe her as much as he did now. This feeling, however, was not new too much to him. He had felt it when a classmate did better on a test, or when a friend had a present from family, when he had never gotten one of his own. When some friends didn’t include him in a plan or a joke; when everybody seemed against him. What he felt, was it jealousy? Was he jealous of this woman, who seemed to have captured Mr. Barakat’s heart? Never, in his life, had he ever felt envy as strong as he did now. What was the source, the reason, for this resentment against Holly Madison?
Then it hit him like a ton of bricks: he was in love with Jack.
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been posting too much; I'm back in school now. The comments are getting less and less, and I feel like no one is reading this! D: I hope you all are having a nice day and are seeing All Time Low, Pierce The Veil, You Me At Six, and Mayday Parade on the Spring Fever Tour this spring! I'm jealous if you get to meet any of them, seriously. Comment please! <3