Cant be a cinderella, have to settle as a pumpKin. =P
Juz nOw on msn saw G...lina's fren. We had a conversation starting with things like..how's life etc..i said life sucks as usual haha and she counter with a she not feeling good too. Then i said, heard that she's attached, shld be okie, unlike me who is alone. And shit i hit the wrong topic! She suddenly become v sad then started to pour out her troubles. Sigh....feel real sad for her...consoled her but think im not really good at it...partly oso im not very close with her....wouldnt wan to kpO so much. She started to ask me bot horoscope...asking me wat can i say/advise bot Virgo males and Cancer gers, coz she heard from lina that i read those. (-__-)''' Im not pro leh....wah lauz...shld i be proud of this...fren's frens acutally come ask me for advice bot horoscope...wahahaha! But i told her frankly i half a bucket, true i read those, Linda GOodman's Sun signs...they are true to certain extent but there are always exceptions. Like wat JY said...the world cant be only having 12 diff kinds of ppl. Told G so...but she's really down...ask me to msg her if i know anything...hmmm.....think i will read the book again bot V males and C gers...i read them b4 la..but who can rem rite.....but generally speaking i kinda know how their character is like la..but r/s wise........hmmmmmm.........maybe have to yan jiu the "Relationship Signs" book...now no $$ buy lah..so broke...after my exam then say.......God Bless her....
Chatted with W on msn too....feel so disappointed and shitty all at once..
Actually seldom i will feel pissed off or disappointed with wat frens say. Coz basically i don expect much from them. Or in a way, i don really care wat they say bot me unless they're toking bot their things. U can say im short im fat im ugly, its really okie! The words don bite. U oso wont grow taller, become slimmer nor become prettier each time u say me. Some ppl juz enjoy critisizing ppl...if i were to mind every thorn which pierced me..woah...then i will be very busy. =P So long as they feel shuang3 after saying me..then i chin chai la...doesnt cost me a cent. =D
Not that im self-centered....but i got my own set of opinions bot certain things in open discussions...i wont argue with u bot certain points and rather let u hav ur say coz i like peace. Diff ppl hav diff views isnt it? Terribly sensitive to clashes of opinions when having discussion during chill-out sessions. Its farni...some ppl like to express their views and doesnt like ppl's views clashing with theirs....will become unhappy and will argue till they win.
(-__-)''' Its juz a sharing of opinions..not a debate..no nid so serious right? When i sense something is wrOng...i will juz shutdap. Mentally declared..."kk u win". Really.......if u cant accept oppositions....then don start a open discussion..e.g. which jobs in the market are good etc etc. Sometimes, the insensitive me will curb my tongue too late, incurring displeasure of some frens...but seriously...i don give a damn. Y shld u care? I mean...y shld u be displeased juz becoz our views differ(on a general topic, not abot things which happened on us)? True...maybe sometimes my mind change too fast and began shooting ur points down before i take note of ur face colour...but again...its dui shi bu dui ren...u really don hav to take it to heart. On my side, i will be curious at how u arrived at ur conclusions and the view from ur perspective. U hav ur own right to remain true to ur view..which is usually wat i do. But sometimes i changes my mind too if i feel "hey...wat u say oso makes sense..hmm...ur theory is better" etc.
Dono how to say lah.... feel abit sianz with W and another fren C. But again..i tell myself...they're not my very good frens...how can i expect them to support me in wat i do? Now...this is not a clash of views in a open discussion. Ther's a difference coz now IM involved in the situation. U generally curb ur tongue more when ur frens are in the picture. Unlike a open discussion with an open topic where nobody is "inside the circle". For e.g...when ur fren is depressed over her bf who is a jerk..u wont start going.."hey wake up....hey come on...told u so...etc" That's annoying, Yeah i know, like wat jess always say. This time ard...i experienced wat she feel...how she always feel. Interesting...its like the 1st time im bothered by wat my frens say...maybe becoz im at the stage where i nid support most unlike my usual, confident self. THaTs wHY i will be bothered. Hate myself for that... I desperately nid ur support...i don get it....but i get cold water instead.....buckets of cold water....if u knw wat i mean. Sigh.... But again! I always tell myself not to expect so much of ppl....they're not my very close frens...cant expect so much.....
Im used to being relied on, depended...till im sO used to it that i cant change back. Jus nOw updating my friendster profile, quite awhile nv update liaoz....under "who u wan to mit"...a sudden wry smile twist my lips...typed in..."anyone who can make me feel like a woman..wahahaha".
haha...really...its a long time since i feel like a woman, where i can feel ther's someone whom i can depend on...someone who is stronger than me...who can touch a soft spot in me. Hmm....the last one is F. But maybe he too MAN liaoz then we 2 clashed. lol. MCP. =P Its sad that kav is unable to giv me that feeling...i still feel like a guy beside him that time no matter how much protection and how much he says bot being my man..being my support etc. He never really understand me..which makes me wOnder before wat he really see in me that time...he only saw my super bo-chup and attitude exterior but he nv sees my interior. Yeah he sees a block of ice, wan to melt her, giv her a cup to serve as its container..home..but he actually doesnt know wat is the composition of the ice....and it.......sighs..don melt easily. Though she very much wanted to melt lah.....
There was one time when i kinda bo chup him coz he's not remorseful bot wat he obviously said which bothered me. Im not angry lah...juz..bo chuP lor...that time we chat on the fone...again i forgot bot that thing and continued chat as if nothin happens. Im oso so frustrated with my work at Transpec that i started pouring out the disputes i had with boss and that im unable to respect both my directors, thomas, becoz of his spiteful and lecherous character , and mike, becoz of his arrogance, inexperience and dumbness(sorry but i really feel he's kinda dumb despite the great Switz loOks). Further elaborated how i reached all those conclusions. Kav was dumbstruck. He always thought though im icy...im actually fragile becoz nobody is there for me to rely on....but its not. Its quite the opposite...im unable to find someone for me to rely on coz i haven yet mit someone who is strong enuff for me to rely on. In other words...it actually means a guy ..who can make me feel like a woman...who is strong and able to make me feel attached to him..and pout...sa jiaO...act unreasonable like a little girl...
After that fonecall conversation..he suddenly throw out 1 sentence..something like.."hmm....suddenly sees another side of u....kinda shocked me...and the thing in the afternoon..u can like this bo chup and yet forgot bot it now....at first i tot im unable to "handle" u....now i doubt so..." And suddenly all the magic ended. Its like...no matter how much i wan to be cinderella.....i will still turn back into a pumpkin at nitefall.... haiz....thinking back its considered a consolation to myself that at least i "looked" fragile with my short height and small frame...attract those guys who like to "take care" of small-sized gers...keke...arbO is really bo lang ai liaoz. =P
Yest and today's exam passed.
*phew*
Expelled out a loud breath the 2 times i pressed the "submit" button. Wei...the passing mark not 50% k...
Thur's one is 75%....i HENG HENG pass....result being "75 and above"
Today one is easier, 70%....but still i was afraid...heng got a "88 and above"...pass liao...happy liaoz...but Mon still got another one...very unwilling to tell ppl bot wat im studying and wat im doing now...
"U already failed already"
"Common...get real lah...no life one leh"
I had enuff........
Rain is so sweet, so is ping.
Few days ago i din mit her coz im busy studying, then she send me a msg. Sometimes like this..kinda forget.
"Mama, rain mis u. First time 1 whole week nv see u. Jia yoU!! I will be ur first customer. =D" Real msg is longer ah..but i lazy to type =P
That is so sweet......perhaps if u're smart enuff...will already know wat im doing...not diff to guess lah.
Ping know i broke..then offer buy me dinner. Though it consists of loti...eh..donno wat is that..quite a famous loti with fillings of coffee smell...she queued very long for it. Eventually i nv eat it coz i had my dinner before she told me she already bought my share liaoz. Im too full for it, morever i cant stand coffee smell.....but i already feel the sweetness liaoz...
These are frensz......true frens....
Juz a simple act..i will feel touched liaoz...keke...silly hor...
I appreciate all these little things...especially when frens offer to buy me dinner. Not restaurant those kind...but those where they buy..and bring it to ur hse give u...that is so sweet...of coz i don mean i don appreciate frens who buy me things/presents....to me they're all my frens....i wont treat a fren better juz becoz one spend a $500 on me while another only spend $5 bucks. Its all about sincerity, isnt it?
Keke.......feeling silly and romantic at the same time....
Sigh.....getting sick again....feel so heaty..headache.....must be too little sleep and rest...sianz
Chatted with W on msn too....feel so disappointed and shitty all at once..
Actually seldom i will feel pissed off or disappointed with wat frens say. Coz basically i don expect much from them. Or in a way, i don really care wat they say bot me unless they're toking bot their things. U can say im short im fat im ugly, its really okie! The words don bite. U oso wont grow taller, become slimmer nor become prettier each time u say me. Some ppl juz enjoy critisizing ppl...if i were to mind every thorn which pierced me..woah...then i will be very busy. =P So long as they feel shuang3 after saying me..then i chin chai la...doesnt cost me a cent. =D
Not that im self-centered....but i got my own set of opinions bot certain things in open discussions...i wont argue with u bot certain points and rather let u hav ur say coz i like peace. Diff ppl hav diff views isnt it? Terribly sensitive to clashes of opinions when having discussion during chill-out sessions. Its farni...some ppl like to express their views and doesnt like ppl's views clashing with theirs....will become unhappy and will argue till they win.
(-__-)''' Its juz a sharing of opinions..not a debate..no nid so serious right? When i sense something is wrOng...i will juz shutdap. Mentally declared..."kk u win". Really.......if u cant accept oppositions....then don start a open discussion..e.g. which jobs in the market are good etc etc. Sometimes, the insensitive me will curb my tongue too late, incurring displeasure of some frens...but seriously...i don give a damn. Y shld u care? I mean...y shld u be displeased juz becoz our views differ(on a general topic, not abot things which happened on us)? True...maybe sometimes my mind change too fast and began shooting ur points down before i take note of ur face colour...but again...its dui shi bu dui ren...u really don hav to take it to heart. On my side, i will be curious at how u arrived at ur conclusions and the view from ur perspective. U hav ur own right to remain true to ur view..which is usually wat i do. But sometimes i changes my mind too if i feel "hey...wat u say oso makes sense..hmm...ur theory is better" etc.
Dono how to say lah.... feel abit sianz with W and another fren C. But again..i tell myself...they're not my very good frens...how can i expect them to support me in wat i do? Now...this is not a clash of views in a open discussion. Ther's a difference coz now IM involved in the situation. U generally curb ur tongue more when ur frens are in the picture. Unlike a open discussion with an open topic where nobody is "inside the circle". For e.g...when ur fren is depressed over her bf who is a jerk..u wont start going.."hey wake up....hey come on...told u so...etc" That's annoying, Yeah i know, like wat jess always say. This time ard...i experienced wat she feel...how she always feel. Interesting...its like the 1st time im bothered by wat my frens say...maybe becoz im at the stage where i nid support most unlike my usual, confident self. THaTs wHY i will be bothered. Hate myself for that... I desperately nid ur support...i don get it....but i get cold water instead.....buckets of cold water....if u knw wat i mean. Sigh.... But again! I always tell myself not to expect so much of ppl....they're not my very close frens...cant expect so much.....
Im used to being relied on, depended...till im sO used to it that i cant change back. Jus nOw updating my friendster profile, quite awhile nv update liaoz....under "who u wan to mit"...a sudden wry smile twist my lips...typed in..."anyone who can make me feel like a woman..wahahaha".
haha...really...its a long time since i feel like a woman, where i can feel ther's someone whom i can depend on...someone who is stronger than me...who can touch a soft spot in me. Hmm....the last one is F. But maybe he too MAN liaoz then we 2 clashed. lol. MCP. =P Its sad that kav is unable to giv me that feeling...i still feel like a guy beside him that time no matter how much protection and how much he says bot being my man..being my support etc. He never really understand me..which makes me wOnder before wat he really see in me that time...he only saw my super bo-chup and attitude exterior but he nv sees my interior. Yeah he sees a block of ice, wan to melt her, giv her a cup to serve as its container..home..but he actually doesnt know wat is the composition of the ice....and it.......sighs..don melt easily. Though she very much wanted to melt lah.....
There was one time when i kinda bo chup him coz he's not remorseful bot wat he obviously said which bothered me. Im not angry lah...juz..bo chuP lor...that time we chat on the fone...again i forgot bot that thing and continued chat as if nothin happens. Im oso so frustrated with my work at Transpec that i started pouring out the disputes i had with boss and that im unable to respect both my directors, thomas, becoz of his spiteful and lecherous character , and mike, becoz of his arrogance, inexperience and dumbness(sorry but i really feel he's kinda dumb despite the great Switz loOks). Further elaborated how i reached all those conclusions. Kav was dumbstruck. He always thought though im icy...im actually fragile becoz nobody is there for me to rely on....but its not. Its quite the opposite...im unable to find someone for me to rely on coz i haven yet mit someone who is strong enuff for me to rely on. In other words...it actually means a guy ..who can make me feel like a woman...who is strong and able to make me feel attached to him..and pout...sa jiaO...act unreasonable like a little girl...
After that fonecall conversation..he suddenly throw out 1 sentence..something like.."hmm....suddenly sees another side of u....kinda shocked me...and the thing in the afternoon..u can like this bo chup and yet forgot bot it now....at first i tot im unable to "handle" u....now i doubt so..." And suddenly all the magic ended. Its like...no matter how much i wan to be cinderella.....i will still turn back into a pumpkin at nitefall.... haiz....thinking back its considered a consolation to myself that at least i "looked" fragile with my short height and small frame...attract those guys who like to "take care" of small-sized gers...keke...arbO is really bo lang ai liaoz. =P
Yest and today's exam passed.
*phew*
Expelled out a loud breath the 2 times i pressed the "submit" button. Wei...the passing mark not 50% k...
Thur's one is 75%....i HENG HENG pass....result being "75 and above"
Today one is easier, 70%....but still i was afraid...heng got a "88 and above"...pass liao...happy liaoz...but Mon still got another one...very unwilling to tell ppl bot wat im studying and wat im doing now...
"U already failed already"
"Common...get real lah...no life one leh"
I had enuff........
Rain is so sweet, so is ping.
Few days ago i din mit her coz im busy studying, then she send me a msg. Sometimes like this..kinda forget.
"Mama, rain mis u. First time 1 whole week nv see u. Jia yoU!! I will be ur first customer. =D" Real msg is longer ah..but i lazy to type =P
That is so sweet......perhaps if u're smart enuff...will already know wat im doing...not diff to guess lah.
Ping know i broke..then offer buy me dinner. Though it consists of loti...eh..donno wat is that..quite a famous loti with fillings of coffee smell...she queued very long for it. Eventually i nv eat it coz i had my dinner before she told me she already bought my share liaoz. Im too full for it, morever i cant stand coffee smell.....but i already feel the sweetness liaoz...
These are frensz......true frens....
Juz a simple act..i will feel touched liaoz...keke...silly hor...
I appreciate all these little things...especially when frens offer to buy me dinner. Not restaurant those kind...but those where they buy..and bring it to ur hse give u...that is so sweet...of coz i don mean i don appreciate frens who buy me things/presents....to me they're all my frens....i wont treat a fren better juz becoz one spend a $500 on me while another only spend $5 bucks. Its all about sincerity, isnt it?
Keke.......feeling silly and romantic at the same time....
Sigh.....getting sick again....feel so heaty..headache.....must be too little sleep and rest...sianz