Posty post post
It has been ages since I last posted. Right now I am struggling a bit and finding things pretty boring. I am finally working for myself, which is awesome. But I don't have a lot of resources financially to do mush else - i spend most of my money on visits to various medical people and on healthy food, supplements and chinese medicine.
I'm a bit pissed off with my body - I have been on a slow upward spiral of progressing health for the past few years. In the past had 2 years I have had 2 periods of 6 months without any major colds, flus or chest infections (which is the longest I have been without a major illness since age 11).
I have been banned from intense exercise for the next 6-12 months to help me recover fully from chronic fatigue. This makes sense, and hopefully the next 6-12 months will be the last little bit in the story for my getting healthy before I can begin to function like a relatively normal person who just has a chronic illness which flares up occasionally.
Even with my no sugar diet though, I am slowly putting on weight :( I struggle to lose weight even with pretty intense exercise - doing capoeira 2-3 times per week, it took me about 2 years to drop one size of clothing. Intellectually I don't have a problem with the idea of weighing more, but my clothes are beginning to get uncomfortable, and I don't have money for a new wardrobe.
Once I get over a certain weight I start to feel really uncomfortable in my body. It only takes a couple of kilos - my stomach gets slightly bigger, my boobs feel heavier and i can feel that my back and stomach muscles aren't as strong as they used to be.
It's hard for me to find shirts that fit at the best of time - when I gain even a little weight all of my tops become midriffs and I end up slouching slightly to compensate for my bigger boobs, which makes me feel pretty crap.
Also, I keep thinking about the amount of time it is going to take for me to shift it all off again - a break for 6-12 months represents a possible 2 years of exercise and dieting to get back to where I was.
I feel silly as a feminist for being so focused on my weight, but at the same time, because I am so prone to putting on weight on my stomach and have difficulty shifting it because of my hormone issues it really is a problem for me.
Mopey post is mopey.
I'm a bit pissed off with my body - I have been on a slow upward spiral of progressing health for the past few years. In the past had 2 years I have had 2 periods of 6 months without any major colds, flus or chest infections (which is the longest I have been without a major illness since age 11).
I have been banned from intense exercise for the next 6-12 months to help me recover fully from chronic fatigue. This makes sense, and hopefully the next 6-12 months will be the last little bit in the story for my getting healthy before I can begin to function like a relatively normal person who just has a chronic illness which flares up occasionally.
Even with my no sugar diet though, I am slowly putting on weight :( I struggle to lose weight even with pretty intense exercise - doing capoeira 2-3 times per week, it took me about 2 years to drop one size of clothing. Intellectually I don't have a problem with the idea of weighing more, but my clothes are beginning to get uncomfortable, and I don't have money for a new wardrobe.
Once I get over a certain weight I start to feel really uncomfortable in my body. It only takes a couple of kilos - my stomach gets slightly bigger, my boobs feel heavier and i can feel that my back and stomach muscles aren't as strong as they used to be.
It's hard for me to find shirts that fit at the best of time - when I gain even a little weight all of my tops become midriffs and I end up slouching slightly to compensate for my bigger boobs, which makes me feel pretty crap.
Also, I keep thinking about the amount of time it is going to take for me to shift it all off again - a break for 6-12 months represents a possible 2 years of exercise and dieting to get back to where I was.
I feel silly as a feminist for being so focused on my weight, but at the same time, because I am so prone to putting on weight on my stomach and have difficulty shifting it because of my hormone issues it really is a problem for me.
Mopey post is mopey.