(no subject)
I am going crazy. Im freaking out. Im having serious second thoughts. As of 16 minutes ago, i leave tomorrow. I leave for two months. Am i making the biggest mistake of my life? No. I know that this will be the best experience i could ever hope for. If i backed down from this, i would hate myself for it. The stress is overwhelming. I feel like i am ditching so many people. I know that everyone is totally behind my departure(some for reasons more selfish than others) but at this point in time, there are certain individuals that i would be abandoning, certain ones that i would be running from, and certain ones that i will cry on the plane for. Those are the ones that i want to talk to so badly right now but feel that in order for me to really take this trip and leave, i simply cannot call.
There are so many things that i need to say to people before i leave. I know that people are making fun of me right now as I am not moving forever but only for 2 months. I know that is ridiculous but i, along with most of my friends, am in a huge transition period right now and it really doesnt feel right to leave. The things that need to be said before i leave are things that i should have said earlier on in the week. They are things that will cause a lot of discussion and frankly, i dont have time for discussion. There are so many things that have really hurt me recently that i have just stood by and let happen and now, for some reason, i have so much ambition to scream it all out. My timing sucks. I am so busy with so many last minute preparations that i really have NO time to myself. I want to see all my friends and say bye but i really dont know when i can. I hate this. I know that this will be a time that i will deeply grow as a person and mature but i am scared to death. i dont know what to do.
Clearly my mind is in 1000 different directions. I am freaking writing in my LJ... it's something that i just dont do. I am ridiculously tired but SO many thoughts are keeping me awake. On that note, goodnight (or goodbye depending on who you are) and all airplane notes are more than welcome... it's a long flight.
-sar
There are so many things that i need to say to people before i leave. I know that people are making fun of me right now as I am not moving forever but only for 2 months. I know that is ridiculous but i, along with most of my friends, am in a huge transition period right now and it really doesnt feel right to leave. The things that need to be said before i leave are things that i should have said earlier on in the week. They are things that will cause a lot of discussion and frankly, i dont have time for discussion. There are so many things that have really hurt me recently that i have just stood by and let happen and now, for some reason, i have so much ambition to scream it all out. My timing sucks. I am so busy with so many last minute preparations that i really have NO time to myself. I want to see all my friends and say bye but i really dont know when i can. I hate this. I know that this will be a time that i will deeply grow as a person and mature but i am scared to death. i dont know what to do.
Clearly my mind is in 1000 different directions. I am freaking writing in my LJ... it's something that i just dont do. I am ridiculously tired but SO many thoughts are keeping me awake. On that note, goodnight (or goodbye depending on who you are) and all airplane notes are more than welcome... it's a long flight.
-sar