Family Future Mothers Day Anthology
Originally written for musemuggers 13/07/2004
Prompt #45 = Write a humorous set of guidelines or call for submissions for an imaginary anthology. Make them funny, clever, ridiculously satirical, whatever, but no longer than 250 actual words long.
Call For Submission
Family Future Press is proud to announce it's fourth annual Mother's Day anthology.
We are looking for short stories, poems and inspirational messages to make the perfect gift for Mothering Sunday.
Submissions should warm the heart and sooth the soul reflecting the nature of a daughter's love (of course, if your mother's anything like mine it'll be, "You think I have time to read after running around after you lot?")
Short stories should be between 1000 and 3000 words in length and we pay professional rates (not that you'd think we were a professional outfit the way she goes on about it. "When are you going to get married and give me grandchildren?" She says, "I can't spoil a career y'know.")
We pay $1 per line for poetry, which should not exceed 30 lines and must rhyme (I just can't deal with another barrage of letters from old biddies who think if it doesn't rhyme it's just words arranged in a funny way.)
Please address submissions to my mother as I'm obviously not capable of making a decent decision for myself. Not that anything you send will be good enough for her anyway. Rather than respond to submissions with a form letter she'll be happy destroy every dream you dared to have.
Manuscripts should be on pink paper in your best copperplate handwriting. I tried to explain to her about courier and double spacing but she just muttered about falling education standards until I had to leave the room.
Prompt #45 = Write a humorous set of guidelines or call for submissions for an imaginary anthology. Make them funny, clever, ridiculously satirical, whatever, but no longer than 250 actual words long.
Call For Submission
Family Future Press is proud to announce it's fourth annual Mother's Day anthology.
We are looking for short stories, poems and inspirational messages to make the perfect gift for Mothering Sunday.
Submissions should warm the heart and sooth the soul reflecting the nature of a daughter's love (of course, if your mother's anything like mine it'll be, "You think I have time to read after running around after you lot?")
Short stories should be between 1000 and 3000 words in length and we pay professional rates (not that you'd think we were a professional outfit the way she goes on about it. "When are you going to get married and give me grandchildren?" She says, "I can't spoil a career y'know.")
We pay $1 per line for poetry, which should not exceed 30 lines and must rhyme (I just can't deal with another barrage of letters from old biddies who think if it doesn't rhyme it's just words arranged in a funny way.)
Please address submissions to my mother as I'm obviously not capable of making a decent decision for myself. Not that anything you send will be good enough for her anyway. Rather than respond to submissions with a form letter she'll be happy destroy every dream you dared to have.
Manuscripts should be on pink paper in your best copperplate handwriting. I tried to explain to her about courier and double spacing but she just muttered about falling education standards until I had to leave the room.