Still not able to properly think this through

[shermarama]

Is there such a thing as a consulting feminist? Because I feel like I need to talk to one, on how I got to where I am, and where indeed I actually am, on gender issues. I don't spend a lot of time reading around the topic, and I'm not likely to either, but things come up where I find my experiences of being female, and of being a female that does

Comments

[shermarama]

Interesting to hear you say that. This is one of several things I see as not necessarily anything to do with sexism, but I'm often reluctant to say so because it feels like I'm questioning people's experiences if I do. Which is why I'd like to know more about what's going on, to see if it happens to me less, or if I'm less likely to notice it, or less likely to think of it in terms of sexism, and just generally to be able to discuss things like this in a sensible way.

I do wonder if people think I do this to them, and I've just never noticed. (One of the benefits of usually wearing trousers is being able to sit with my legs apart because it's comfy; I can still hear my mum telling me it's not ladylike.) I'm about the same height as you, although I've got relatively more leg than most men of the same height, so the thing I'm most likely to notice getting evils for is sitting across from someone in a four-seat configuration. People seem to think I'm sticking my knees out too far forwards when in fact I'm usually sitting as upright as I can comfortably manage.

[steer]

I'm often reluctant to say so because it feels like I'm questioning people's experiences if I do

It may well be that there are some men who do do it in an aggressive "I'm going to take up space" way but I've never encountered this and it seems you haven't ever. I just hope that I've never been interpreted as doing that because I genuinely have not. But I have behaved exactly as described in the "evil men who sit iwht their legs apart" rants.

the thing I'm most likely to notice getting evils for is sitting across from someone in a four-seat configuration

Oh yes...this entirely. It's horrible really. The kind of furtive under the table knee rearrangement on trains. It's much more socially uncomfortable IMHO. Also those "shared" armrests which are only big enough for one arm...