On the tenth day of Sherlockmas... "Five Christmas Traditions at 221B + One," a gift for mahmfic
Author: [redacted]
Title: Five Christmas Traditions At 221B + One
A gift for: mahmfic
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock/John
Category: Slash
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Sex, mentions of mpreg.
Summary: A 5+1 about the Christmas season at Baker Street, featuring John, Sherlock, and Hamish. And a short nod to red pants, because how could I not?
Author's Notes: I originally tried to write you a retelling of The Little Mermaid, but then it got out of control. I’ll probably post it on AO3 eventually, but I knew I wouldn’t finish it in time for this, so I shelved it. Sorry! But here, have some really super fluffy parent!lock.
1. Seeing Father Christmas
“Your brother’s got us tickets for next Saturday,” John says from the doorway.
It seems to be a continuation of a conversation Sherlock isn’t sure he was initially part of, but he somehow manages to get it all together quickly enough. There are only a handful of things that John could be referencing in relation to Mycroft, and just a single one of these involves difficult-to-acquire tickets.
Sherlock hates it when John lets Mycroft do favors.
The doctor is leaning against the threshold holding two mugs of steaming tea. It’s a bargaining chip if Sherlock has ever seen one. He knows instantly that if he utters even the quietest word of complaint, his lover will likely return to the kitchen and dump the fresh-brewed cup down the sink. And he’s been dearly looking forward to his tea as a reward for getting through whatever crap show John has had droning in the background for the last hour.
Though perhaps it’s best to not mention that he didn’t pay attention to a minute of it. Instead, he settles for: “Three weeks before Christmas. He’s losing his edge.”
Last year, Mycroft had cleared the Christmas Grotto three days before the holiday so that his nephew could have Father Christmas all to himself rather than being herded through a line. Sherlock holds his tongue and doesn’t say another word about how difficult it’s going to be to get through Harrods on a Saturday in December, even if the Grotto will be theirs alone.
John reaches out, offering the tea. When Sherlock accepts it, the doctor settles onto the couch, wiggling his toes so they’re warm under his lover’s thighs. “You know how excited Hamish will be to see Father Christmas again. This is the first year he really understands it. He's got the holiday spirit.”
Sherlock huffs. “He’s going to figure it all out sooner or later.”
But for now, the detective supposes he’ll have to deal with the fact that his son has visions of flying sleighs in his little blond head. Not a single sensible thought is given to physics or the biological makeup of reindeer. No one else at Baker Street seems to remember that one man--especially one who looks like a pre-gastric bypass Mycroft Holmes--could ever fit down the chimneys of every child in the world in a single night.
“He’s four, Sherlock,” John says, almost as if he can see the nonsense spinning in Sherlock’s head. His eyes glint from the fairy lights twinkling on the mantlepiece as he pokes Sherlock’s bum with his big toe, making the younger man crinkle his nose. “He’s not going to figure it out for a few more good years. Let him keep believing in magic.”
Sherlock can’t remember a time when he didn’t know that the big man in red was a fraud. He blames Mycroft.
“Has he written his list yet?” Sherlock asks, deflecting. He’s certain that whatever Hamish asks for will be wrapped and waiting under their theoretical little tree on Christmas, but last year all he’d wanted was a toy train. All his other (more expensive, mind) gifts had gone ignored once he’d torn away the glinting green paper from his wooden train set.
“I thought we could all do that together tomorrow afternoon.”
John’s face has always been expressive. The openness of his face is one of the things that drew Sherlock to him in the first place. He’s readable. But when he’s especially happy about something he’s concocted in his head--particularly in relation to family activities--there’s a special set of lines in his cheeks that crease with the smile. Those very lines, Sherlock thinks, are only reserved for himself and their son. And he sees them now. He wouldn't dare decline.
“Is this another one of those traditions you’re so fond of?” Concocting wishes for Father Christmas simply sounds like a daunting task. Hamish doesn’t have the most advanced motor skills for a four year old, but he has a certain flair for perfectionism that means he has to start everything over if he messes up a single letter.
To Hamish Holmes, there is no such thing as an eraser.
“It’ll be fun.” John reaches for the remote and flicks the telly back to life, settling onto the couch and letting his feet burrow further under Sherlock’s bottom. “And now, Love, Actually.”
*
2. Letters to Father Christmas
Hamish is sitting cross-legged on the rug, tapping at the floor with his pencil just as he has been for the last twenty minutes. His crayons are strewn about, along with a half dozen broken nibs. There was a short tantrum about six minutes ago, and the light blue and red crayons are not likely to make any sort of recovery.
“Do you want to have lunch and then we’ll think about it later?” John asks from where he’s sat in his chair. He’d been sitting on the floor until Hamish told him to stop bothering him.
At that moment, Sherlock had had the sense to hide his smirk, but it had been short lived, since he’d been banished a moment later by the tot for “putting him off.” Now, he’s situated at the table reading John's finished list upside down.
John’s Christmas lists tend to be practical. For instance, the one he’s done today is a simple list of eleven items penned in his uncommonly tidy doctor’s scrawl. Nothing flashy or expensive. He’s never been one for much flair. It’s brief. To the point:
1. Electric kettle
2. Socks
3. Bond night
4. Blender
5. New duvet
6. Pants
7. Family portrait
8. New jumpers
9. Old phone
10. New mugs
11. Nuisance Coupons
Sherlock doesn’t need to ask why about any of the items; some are merely things that need to be replaced due to his own experimentation and carelessness (duvet, pants, blender, kettle, and mugs in that exact order). The others are just... John. Particularly “old phone,” which is John’s not-a-bit subtle way of telling Sherlock he doesn’t appreciate the shiny new iPhone from his birthday and instead wants his old, obsolete phone back. Which makes absolutely no sense, since Sherlock spent nearly an hour teaching John how to text using just his voice, but apparently it makes him feel “awkward” to say things like “I’ll meet you at the crime scene in twenty” in the middle of Tesco.
“Efficiency” is not John Watson’s middle name.
The Nuisance Coupons are a bit worrisome to Sherlock, but we’ll get to those in a bit.
Sherlock’s list, expectedly, is less structured and slightly more demanding. He’s simply made a list of six experiments he’d like to conduct in the next few months and the bits he’ll need for each one. Last year, John managed to get him a set of ten fingers--each one from a different person! He’s curious to see if John can get him a similar arrangement of toes, so of course he’s put them on his list in addition to multiple corrosive-yet-surprisingly-child-safe chemicals.
While Sherlock’s eyes flit back to John’s list across the table, Hamish asks for a cup of milk and the doctor leaves the room. Sherlock follows a moment later.
“Why do you think he’s having trouble coming up with things?” Sherlock asks. John will likely turn ‘round and tell him he’s focusing on something unimportant, but Sherlock has his moments. At the age of four, he certainly could’ve come up with a list. And written it coherently.
When he had been pregnant, everyone felt obligated to remind Sherlock that his expectations were going to be too high and he was going to have to accept that Hamish would likely be “of average intelligence,” as if any Holmes child had ever been anything but blindingly brilliant. While Sherlock still wishes his son would put tot-sized chemist sets and microscopes and books sans illustrations on his list for Father Christmas, he realizes that there will be a time for that. But really, why can’t Hamish come up with even one request?
John gets a lidded cup from Hamish’s shelf and pours the milk. Sherlock notices that John is using the regular jug rather than the low-fat milk they'd been trying to get Hamish on, but he doesn't comment--again, unimportant focus. John shrugs. “He’ll come up with something. All he wanted last year was that train. He’s yet to be very high maintenance--I doubt he’s ever going to make a pages-long list of Christmas demands.” He snaps the lid into place on the sippy cup and puts the milk away. When he goes to walk through the door, he pauses, putting a hand on Sherlock’s hip and turning him back toward the scene in their living room.
Hamish has rolled onto his stomach and is writing his letter, oblivious of his parents' attention. They both know it’s going to be unintelligible. The only words Hamish knows how to spell on his own are his first and last names. The rest will likely be a jumble of perfectly spaced letters, a result of Hamish’s recent independence streak and his refusal to ask his parents to help him formulate words from his newly-learned symbols.
True enough, when the blond-haired Holmes is finished, he announces to his fathers that he knows exactly what he wants. John and Sherlock, who are sitting on the couch with two cups of tea perched on the table in front of them, inquire to his wishes.
Neither of them expect him to tuck his letter away and bound up the stairs to his bedroom declaring it a secret between himself and Father Christmas.
*
3. Nuisance Coupons
Sherlock tries, he really does.
Ever since Hamish was born, he’s been much more... present than he’d been before. His trips into his mind palace are fewer, and when he does have to go in deep, he’s there for shorter periods of time--and he’s even built a mind nursery to store facts about raising children and trivial bits about Hamish. He can honestly say that he loves John and Hamish, something he never would have thought possible prior to meeting John Watson seven years ago. If you told him he’d be a father in three years back then, he’d likely have asked you to share your secret stash of special drugs, because really.
But just because he now has the knowledge of how to change nappies and how to comfort a feverish child doesn’t mean he’s better at everything he neglected before.
For instance, he still can’t be bothered with the shopping, and you’d be lucky to get him to eat two meals in a single day. It’s difficult to get him to read children’s stories to Hamish without changing the ends, and he loathes having to pick his son up from primary school (too many idiotic parents--honestly, why would Hamish need a “play date”?). When Sherlock had declared Hamish’s cries while he was teething two and a half years ago a “nuisance,” the Nuisance Coupons had been born.
Nuisance Coupons are simple in theory: A plain three-by-five inch card with the word “Nuisance” written on the front. A Nuisance Coupon has lines on the back that are meant to be filled in with whatever nuisance Sherlock is being asked to deal with. For example, to celebrate their anniversary last year, John wanted to go away for a weekend and leave Hamish with Mrs. Hudson. This would have been moderately agreeable, except that their anniversary fell in the middle of a rather interesting triple-homicide. John produced one Nuisance Coupon for each day of the three-day weekend he wished to spend in the country, and that was the end of that.
Other times, they were used for less grand events, like wanting Sherlock to leave an experiment and go to the park or making him put down his violin in favor of keeping Hamish asleep. One was even presented to him on a Sunday morning when he tried to sneak out of bed before sunrise. John had simply tucked the little card into his hand and pulled him close.
They are, of course, negotiable. If Sherlock has particularly strong feelings about the timing of a Nuisance Card (and he has a standing rule against them being issued while he's investigating serial killers), he has the power to request that the card be rescinded and used at a later date. There hasn't come a time yet when Sherlock felt the need to veto one. It's possible that this is because these small moments aren't actually "nuisances," but he hasn't analyzed much about that other than the morning he couldn't get out of bed because John Watson wanted a cuddle.
The idea had come from Molly after Sherlock had gone to her for a bit of unscheduled sensitivity training. John had thrown him out of the flat at four in the afternoon after the teething incident. While he’d gone to the mortuary at the time in hopes of securing a severed right foot, he had to admit that Molly was rather good at fixing his relationship flubs. He’s never given much thought to the fact that it’s probably because she spent so much time imagining herself as the one in a relationship with him.
Currently, Sherlock knows that John only holds one more Nuisance Coupon of the twenty he’d been issued last Christmas. He even knows that John keeps it tucked away in his wallet. But he isn’t sure if he’s ready to make more of them, especially now that he's seen first-hand the way John hoards them away for “special occasions.”
It’s something he’ll have to think about.
And something John will probably find in a small box on Christmas morning.
*
4. Baking with Mrs. Hudson
“Fuck! Oh fucking Christ, Sherlock, that’s brilliant. Shit.”
The thing about John Watson, Lover of Sherlock Holmes, is that he has the mouth of a sailor who has been denied his most carnal needs. That sailor is always there, simmering just below the surface, ready to make even Sherlock blush with his needy words. Fuck.
The thing about John Watson, Da of Hamish Holmes, is that he bristles at the word “damn” being muttered in the same room as his son. They may as well be two different people; their vocabularies are so vastly different.
Which is why Sherlock works so hard to make him come undone when they are child-free for any short period of time, like this afternoon, when Mrs. Hudson has decided to do her seasonal baking. Which she borrows Hamish for--cheeky wink or no. Sherlock can’t complain--it’s an introduction to applied chemistry--and, well. He can’t complain about the, erm, opportunities that arise between him and his partner, either.
He’s arched his back as he rolls his hips in a slow circle, enjoying the way John’s fingers dig into the skin of his thighs. The bed creaks obscenely with every downward slide, a lovely complement to John’s near-coherent ramblings. He’s been trying to slow the pace for several minutes now, but each time his body tugs John’s cock into that sweet spot, it makes Sherlock want to go faster, harder.
“Squeeze me agai--oh God.” John’s neck arches as he tosses his head back on the pillow, groaning and thrusting his hips off the bed only to be pressed right back down. His fingernails dig into the flesh of Sherlock’s thighs, leaving small crescents in their stead. “I’m going to come, fuck, Sherlock, I’m--”
But Sherlock isn’t ready to go that far just yet, and he prompts another slew of frustrated words when he quickly disengages and kneels on the bed next to his partner. His long fingers trail up John’s heaving stomach and chest, light-haired skin stained red from exertion and nearly identical to his own current coloring.
“Fuck you,” John says, a small smile playing on his lips. He takes a few more breaths before clambering onto his own knees and all but tackling Sherlock down to the mattress. The taller man doesn’t protest, instead spreading his legs when John nudges them apart with his knee. They’ve reached a practiced stage in their lovemaking where it barely requires any guidance for John to breach his lover’s body once more.
It’s slower now, possibly because John’s taken over and decided he wants it to last. Sherlock can always tell what he’s thinking about based on how he’s moving--and right now he’s trying not to remember how they used to be able to do this all over the flat. Over the couch, the kitchen table, the desk, the bloody television set.... And then suddenly they’re both remembering the fact that their son, who is currently downstairs with their landlady, was probably conceived on the steps to what is now his bedroom.
John’s mouth presses against Sherlock’s throat and he laughs quietly against his skin, a puff of air and a ripple of his stomach against the leaner man’s. “Oh, God, this is absurd.” His hips falter for a moment in their slow slide and he shakes his head, grounding himself by sucking a delicate bruise into his partner’s shoulder.
“You thought about having me over the table before they’d even got downstairs,” Sherlock notes, pressing up so that his cock rubs against John’s navel. It’s warm and a little slick, but not enough to get him off. Anyway, he does it again. “You keep thinking about how long it’s been since we’ve--”
John cuts him off by nibbling on his bottom lip, sucking a moan from that heart-shaped mouth. “No deductions in bed,” John warns. Sherlock quirks an eyebrow--a challenge John isn’t sure about--and when the doctor squints back, Sherlock’s body grips him tight. “Oh, fuck, maybe... those kinds of deductions are... acceptable.”
Sherlock takes the better part of the next hour making sure “acceptable” is an understatement.
*
5. Jim-jams
The only tradition at Baker Street that precedes the birth of Hamish is Christmas pyjamas, and it continues now, though with slightly more feet, and a little white lie.
Prior to the birth of their son, John and Sherlock had exchanged one gift on Christmas Eve. Their first Christmas together, they’d each chosen pyjamas for each other’s night-before-Christmas gift without actually meaning to. The next year, they agreed early in the holiday season to make it a tradition. Christmas-themed pyjamas--a great way to bring in the holiday.
Any parent--even the two fathers at 221B--knows how difficult it is to get a child into bed on Christmas Eve. Now that Hamish understands that Father Christmas is going to be coming into the flat with his Christmas wishes (which, somehow, no one has managed to get out of the boy), he doesn’t want to go to sleep.
Which is where the pyjamas come in. Hamish loves footed jim-jams. And he whole-heartedly believes in Father Christmas.
John is the one who comes up with the creative fib, and they both agree that it will likely come back to bite them in their respective arses eventually. On Christmas Eve, he wraps his son in a towel after his bath and leads him into the living room, where three parcels are wrapped in shining green paper under their little tree.
Hamish’s pale blue eyes brighten in the fairy lights. Sherlock feels a swell of pride at the realization that Hamish remembers the wrapping from last year’s gifts from Father Christmas. He’s deduced it.
“Father Christmas brought us all an early gift, Hamish,” John explains, crouching down next to his son. The boy’s small frame buzzes with excitement and he pulls his towel closer around him, though Sherlock can tell he’s mostly dry now and the room is warm enough that he won’t be chilled. “Why don’t you find yours and open it for us?”
Sherlock knows that Hamish likes to open large gifts, so he’d made sure to find a decently sized garment box for the tiny pair of footed jim-jams when he’d been doing the wrapping. It’s no surprise when the little boy gravitates toward the large box and immediately turns the card over. There, in the elegant scrawl of the man in red (Well, Lestrade--they’d needed handwriting Hamish wouldn’t recognize), is Hamish’s name.
He drops his towel and holds the box in both arms. “Mine!”
“Go on,” Sherlock encourages.
Hamish doesn’t need another word of encouragement. Stark naked, he drops to the rug and tears at the paper, tossing the lid off the box just as quickly as he discards the wrapping. The shoulders of the pyjamas are folded neatly under a layer of tissue paper and Hamish plucks them from the box.
“Reindeer ‘jamas!” He smiles toothily up at his fathers and hugs the pyjamas close.
“I guess Father Christmas wants to make sure you sleep snugly tonight while he brings you your presents,” John offers. They’ve agreed on this--an early gift from the imaginary fat man in order to encourage Hamish to go to sleep at a decent hour. Lestrade has offered that this might also keep him from setting traps when he’s a bit older, but Sherlock knows that, realistically, the boy will try to capture Father Christmas at one point or another if he doesn’t discover the lies before age six.
“Can I go to bed right now?” Hamish asks. He stands, holding his new jim-jams like a security blanket and Sherlock wonders if he’ll ever hear the boy ask that question again.
“The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you get to open your presents in the morning.” John reaches for the footed pyjamas. “But first, let’s get you dressed and those curls brushed. Then maybe your father will read you a Christmas story.”
Sherlock shoots John a pointed look, but he softens when Hamish turns to him with hopeful eyes.
“Of course,” Sherlock replies, as if he has any choice. He enjoys telling the boy stories, but it’s hard to keep Hamish believing in fairy tales when he’s seen the harsh realities of the world. Occupational hazard.
John ushers the excited tot off to clean his teeth and Sherlock looks back at the Christmas tree.
Maybe John is right. Perhaps it’s best to keep the magic alive while it’s still believable.
*
+ One
Christmas morning marks the third day that Sherlock has known, but it’s all been so busy that there just hasn’t been time to do more than confirm the news with himself, let alone tell anyone. Like John, who should probably know.
He wakes up just after dawn with the knowledge that Hamish will probably be following soon after. In the flurry of Christmas, it’s likely that they’ll be micromanaged down to the minute by familial expectations. Seeing Mrs. Hudson, Molly, and Greg. Seeing Mycroft, seeing Mummy, and Harry and Clara, and when did Christmas become about more than their little flat?
“John,” he says quietly. He’s done this before. In fact, this is the second Christmas morning to see such news, but that doesn’t quell the gnawing sensation in his lower abdomen. This is, after all, the second time that this has been spectacularly unplanned.
His fingers slip along John’s bare stomach, trailing through the coarse hair at his navel and curling over his hip. The doctor is wearing nothing but his first Christmas present of the year--a pair of red pants with white piping that Sherlock picked out entirely because he’d put pants on his Christmas list and, well, they were colored appropriately.
“John,” Sherlock says again, a bit louder. As his lover hums into consciousness, Sherlock shakes his head to dispel his curls from his eyes, kisses John’s unmarked shoulder. “Good morning. Happy Christmas.”
John rolls over so that he’s facing the detective, hands wandering up Sherlock’s chest and right arm at the same time. “To you as wel--” A cat-like yawn interrupts him and he follows it with a quiet bout of giggles. “To you as well,” he repeats, smiling his just-for-Hamish-and-Sherlock smile. “I thought for sure Hamish would be up before us.”
“I haven’t heard a peep from him yet, though I don’t give it long,” Sherlock says. “Maybe eight minutes.”
John closes his eyes and rolls onto his back, flopping his head on the pillow. He trusts Sherlock’s judgement enough to know that he’s probably accurate down to the second.
“What do you suppose it’s like to be the elder child?” Sherlock asks, settling up onto his elbow.
John’s eyes remain closed, but his eyebrows raise in surprise. “Dunno. Harry’s got me by five years. I imagine it’s nice to have someone to blame for mischief in the beginning, then you hate each other, and then eventually you work it out. You’d know--you’ve been through it with Mycroft.”
“Yes,” Sherlock says, “but I’m the youngest, same as you.” He squints his nose. “It’s just that we both have terrible relationships with our siblings, and I wonder if it’s the same for all paired children.”
For a long moment, Sherlock wonders if John has fallen back asleep, but then his sleepy partner peeks out of one eye to observe his curly-haired bedmate.
“I think it mostly depends on the childhood relationship, parents picking favorites, all that.” He sets himself up on his elbow, mirroring Sherlock. “What’s brought this on, then? Psychoanalyzing so that you can not get into a row with your brother on Christmas for a change?” John teases.
“I think it’s one of those parental worries. I know how our childhoods were with older siblings and I worry that Hamish will be that godawful elder brother that his younger sibling resents for his or her entire life. Which then makes me wonder what it is about the eldest child that makes them so likely to become problematic for the younger--is it because the eldest is jealous of the youngest? Does the elder child need more attention in order to feel--”
“Hang on,” John says, putting one finger against Sherlock’s morning-chapped lips. “I think you may have forgotten to mention a crucial aspect of this conversation. Either that, or I slept through it. Still, slow it down for a minute.”
“I may have neglected to mention that we can expect another child in seven to eight months, but I thought it implied with the direction of the conversation--”
“You’re pregnant.” No question, just a slightly flabbergasted expression across John’s features as he pushes himself up to a sitting position. Sherlock follows, not sure whether John can handle the surprise just yet and mildly concerned that he might fall over. Thankfully, there are few better places to fall over than in a bed.
“Approximately four weeks, yes.”
John blows out a long stream of air between slightly-parted lips before running his hand through his hair. “Hamish is going to be a big brother.” It sounds like he’s trying the words on for size. He looks back at Sherlock, eyes drifting down to the flat of his stomach. “Figured if we were going to do that again, you’d make me carry it.”
Not that there had ever been any discussion of another child, but Sherlock knows John’s words aren’t quite true. While they have as varied a sex life as having a small child will allow, the number of times Sherlock has done that to John numbers at less than a dozen for their entire relationship.
“This wasn’t on my Christmas list, you know,” John says, scooting forward on the bed. When he’s close enough, he cups Sherlock’s face in his hands and pulls him in for a kiss. “I guess some of the best gifts are the ones we really don’t expect.”
Sherlock smiles against his lover’s mouth, pulling him closer until they’re embracing, slowly tipping back down onto the bed. The first time he’d given John this sort of news, there had been an undercurrent of panic throughout the holiday until they’d both sat down and decided they really could be parents. Now that they know they can do it, the second child should be significantly easier.
Maybe.
“How do you propose we tell Hamish he’s going to get a little brother or sister?” John asks a few minutes later.
The door bursts open and instantly there is a bundle of reindeer-patterned limbs bouncing about on the bed. “He knew!” Hamish cries out, grabbing at the blankets, unwrapping his parents like gifts. “He brought it? Where is it?”
“Hamish!” John reaches for his son’s shoulders, trying to calm the excitement. “He brought what?”
“Father Christmas! I asked him--” Hamish takes a deep breath, finding his indoor voice the way his primary school teacher would tell him to. “I asked Father Christmas for a brother or sister,” he states matter-of-factly, as if John and Sherlock have known all along what the little boy wanted. “You just told Father I was getting one. Where is it?”
One thing Sherlock has learned from early enough on is that, especially with Christmas and fairy tales, it’s okay to lie to your child. One thing Sherlock and John have learned is how to convey--with a single glance--that they are going to agree with each other on whatever lie the other has improvised. This is one of those moments, and the small quirk of John’s eyebrow tells him so.
“Hamish, remember helping Mrs. Hudson bake? And how you had to wait until the pies were ready to come out of the oven?”
Title: Five Christmas Traditions At 221B + One
A gift for: mahmfic
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock/John
Category: Slash
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Sex, mentions of mpreg.
Summary: A 5+1 about the Christmas season at Baker Street, featuring John, Sherlock, and Hamish. And a short nod to red pants, because how could I not?
Author's Notes: I originally tried to write you a retelling of The Little Mermaid, but then it got out of control. I’ll probably post it on AO3 eventually, but I knew I wouldn’t finish it in time for this, so I shelved it. Sorry! But here, have some really super fluffy parent!lock.
1. Seeing Father Christmas
“Your brother’s got us tickets for next Saturday,” John says from the doorway.
It seems to be a continuation of a conversation Sherlock isn’t sure he was initially part of, but he somehow manages to get it all together quickly enough. There are only a handful of things that John could be referencing in relation to Mycroft, and just a single one of these involves difficult-to-acquire tickets.
Sherlock hates it when John lets Mycroft do favors.
The doctor is leaning against the threshold holding two mugs of steaming tea. It’s a bargaining chip if Sherlock has ever seen one. He knows instantly that if he utters even the quietest word of complaint, his lover will likely return to the kitchen and dump the fresh-brewed cup down the sink. And he’s been dearly looking forward to his tea as a reward for getting through whatever crap show John has had droning in the background for the last hour.
Though perhaps it’s best to not mention that he didn’t pay attention to a minute of it. Instead, he settles for: “Three weeks before Christmas. He’s losing his edge.”
Last year, Mycroft had cleared the Christmas Grotto three days before the holiday so that his nephew could have Father Christmas all to himself rather than being herded through a line. Sherlock holds his tongue and doesn’t say another word about how difficult it’s going to be to get through Harrods on a Saturday in December, even if the Grotto will be theirs alone.
John reaches out, offering the tea. When Sherlock accepts it, the doctor settles onto the couch, wiggling his toes so they’re warm under his lover’s thighs. “You know how excited Hamish will be to see Father Christmas again. This is the first year he really understands it. He's got the holiday spirit.”
Sherlock huffs. “He’s going to figure it all out sooner or later.”
But for now, the detective supposes he’ll have to deal with the fact that his son has visions of flying sleighs in his little blond head. Not a single sensible thought is given to physics or the biological makeup of reindeer. No one else at Baker Street seems to remember that one man--especially one who looks like a pre-gastric bypass Mycroft Holmes--could ever fit down the chimneys of every child in the world in a single night.
“He’s four, Sherlock,” John says, almost as if he can see the nonsense spinning in Sherlock’s head. His eyes glint from the fairy lights twinkling on the mantlepiece as he pokes Sherlock’s bum with his big toe, making the younger man crinkle his nose. “He’s not going to figure it out for a few more good years. Let him keep believing in magic.”
Sherlock can’t remember a time when he didn’t know that the big man in red was a fraud. He blames Mycroft.
“Has he written his list yet?” Sherlock asks, deflecting. He’s certain that whatever Hamish asks for will be wrapped and waiting under their theoretical little tree on Christmas, but last year all he’d wanted was a toy train. All his other (more expensive, mind) gifts had gone ignored once he’d torn away the glinting green paper from his wooden train set.
“I thought we could all do that together tomorrow afternoon.”
John’s face has always been expressive. The openness of his face is one of the things that drew Sherlock to him in the first place. He’s readable. But when he’s especially happy about something he’s concocted in his head--particularly in relation to family activities--there’s a special set of lines in his cheeks that crease with the smile. Those very lines, Sherlock thinks, are only reserved for himself and their son. And he sees them now. He wouldn't dare decline.
“Is this another one of those traditions you’re so fond of?” Concocting wishes for Father Christmas simply sounds like a daunting task. Hamish doesn’t have the most advanced motor skills for a four year old, but he has a certain flair for perfectionism that means he has to start everything over if he messes up a single letter.
To Hamish Holmes, there is no such thing as an eraser.
“It’ll be fun.” John reaches for the remote and flicks the telly back to life, settling onto the couch and letting his feet burrow further under Sherlock’s bottom. “And now, Love, Actually.”
*
2. Letters to Father Christmas
Hamish is sitting cross-legged on the rug, tapping at the floor with his pencil just as he has been for the last twenty minutes. His crayons are strewn about, along with a half dozen broken nibs. There was a short tantrum about six minutes ago, and the light blue and red crayons are not likely to make any sort of recovery.
“Do you want to have lunch and then we’ll think about it later?” John asks from where he’s sat in his chair. He’d been sitting on the floor until Hamish told him to stop bothering him.
At that moment, Sherlock had had the sense to hide his smirk, but it had been short lived, since he’d been banished a moment later by the tot for “putting him off.” Now, he’s situated at the table reading John's finished list upside down.
John’s Christmas lists tend to be practical. For instance, the one he’s done today is a simple list of eleven items penned in his uncommonly tidy doctor’s scrawl. Nothing flashy or expensive. He’s never been one for much flair. It’s brief. To the point:
1. Electric kettle
2. Socks
3. Bond night
4. Blender
5. New duvet
6. Pants
7. Family portrait
8. New jumpers
9. Old phone
10. New mugs
11. Nuisance Coupons
Sherlock doesn’t need to ask why about any of the items; some are merely things that need to be replaced due to his own experimentation and carelessness (duvet, pants, blender, kettle, and mugs in that exact order). The others are just... John. Particularly “old phone,” which is John’s not-a-bit subtle way of telling Sherlock he doesn’t appreciate the shiny new iPhone from his birthday and instead wants his old, obsolete phone back. Which makes absolutely no sense, since Sherlock spent nearly an hour teaching John how to text using just his voice, but apparently it makes him feel “awkward” to say things like “I’ll meet you at the crime scene in twenty” in the middle of Tesco.
“Efficiency” is not John Watson’s middle name.
The Nuisance Coupons are a bit worrisome to Sherlock, but we’ll get to those in a bit.
Sherlock’s list, expectedly, is less structured and slightly more demanding. He’s simply made a list of six experiments he’d like to conduct in the next few months and the bits he’ll need for each one. Last year, John managed to get him a set of ten fingers--each one from a different person! He’s curious to see if John can get him a similar arrangement of toes, so of course he’s put them on his list in addition to multiple corrosive-yet-surprisingly-child-safe chemicals.
While Sherlock’s eyes flit back to John’s list across the table, Hamish asks for a cup of milk and the doctor leaves the room. Sherlock follows a moment later.
“Why do you think he’s having trouble coming up with things?” Sherlock asks. John will likely turn ‘round and tell him he’s focusing on something unimportant, but Sherlock has his moments. At the age of four, he certainly could’ve come up with a list. And written it coherently.
When he had been pregnant, everyone felt obligated to remind Sherlock that his expectations were going to be too high and he was going to have to accept that Hamish would likely be “of average intelligence,” as if any Holmes child had ever been anything but blindingly brilliant. While Sherlock still wishes his son would put tot-sized chemist sets and microscopes and books sans illustrations on his list for Father Christmas, he realizes that there will be a time for that. But really, why can’t Hamish come up with even one request?
John gets a lidded cup from Hamish’s shelf and pours the milk. Sherlock notices that John is using the regular jug rather than the low-fat milk they'd been trying to get Hamish on, but he doesn't comment--again, unimportant focus. John shrugs. “He’ll come up with something. All he wanted last year was that train. He’s yet to be very high maintenance--I doubt he’s ever going to make a pages-long list of Christmas demands.” He snaps the lid into place on the sippy cup and puts the milk away. When he goes to walk through the door, he pauses, putting a hand on Sherlock’s hip and turning him back toward the scene in their living room.
Hamish has rolled onto his stomach and is writing his letter, oblivious of his parents' attention. They both know it’s going to be unintelligible. The only words Hamish knows how to spell on his own are his first and last names. The rest will likely be a jumble of perfectly spaced letters, a result of Hamish’s recent independence streak and his refusal to ask his parents to help him formulate words from his newly-learned symbols.
True enough, when the blond-haired Holmes is finished, he announces to his fathers that he knows exactly what he wants. John and Sherlock, who are sitting on the couch with two cups of tea perched on the table in front of them, inquire to his wishes.
Neither of them expect him to tuck his letter away and bound up the stairs to his bedroom declaring it a secret between himself and Father Christmas.
*
3. Nuisance Coupons
Sherlock tries, he really does.
Ever since Hamish was born, he’s been much more... present than he’d been before. His trips into his mind palace are fewer, and when he does have to go in deep, he’s there for shorter periods of time--and he’s even built a mind nursery to store facts about raising children and trivial bits about Hamish. He can honestly say that he loves John and Hamish, something he never would have thought possible prior to meeting John Watson seven years ago. If you told him he’d be a father in three years back then, he’d likely have asked you to share your secret stash of special drugs, because really.
But just because he now has the knowledge of how to change nappies and how to comfort a feverish child doesn’t mean he’s better at everything he neglected before.
For instance, he still can’t be bothered with the shopping, and you’d be lucky to get him to eat two meals in a single day. It’s difficult to get him to read children’s stories to Hamish without changing the ends, and he loathes having to pick his son up from primary school (too many idiotic parents--honestly, why would Hamish need a “play date”?). When Sherlock had declared Hamish’s cries while he was teething two and a half years ago a “nuisance,” the Nuisance Coupons had been born.
Nuisance Coupons are simple in theory: A plain three-by-five inch card with the word “Nuisance” written on the front. A Nuisance Coupon has lines on the back that are meant to be filled in with whatever nuisance Sherlock is being asked to deal with. For example, to celebrate their anniversary last year, John wanted to go away for a weekend and leave Hamish with Mrs. Hudson. This would have been moderately agreeable, except that their anniversary fell in the middle of a rather interesting triple-homicide. John produced one Nuisance Coupon for each day of the three-day weekend he wished to spend in the country, and that was the end of that.
Other times, they were used for less grand events, like wanting Sherlock to leave an experiment and go to the park or making him put down his violin in favor of keeping Hamish asleep. One was even presented to him on a Sunday morning when he tried to sneak out of bed before sunrise. John had simply tucked the little card into his hand and pulled him close.
They are, of course, negotiable. If Sherlock has particularly strong feelings about the timing of a Nuisance Card (and he has a standing rule against them being issued while he's investigating serial killers), he has the power to request that the card be rescinded and used at a later date. There hasn't come a time yet when Sherlock felt the need to veto one. It's possible that this is because these small moments aren't actually "nuisances," but he hasn't analyzed much about that other than the morning he couldn't get out of bed because John Watson wanted a cuddle.
The idea had come from Molly after Sherlock had gone to her for a bit of unscheduled sensitivity training. John had thrown him out of the flat at four in the afternoon after the teething incident. While he’d gone to the mortuary at the time in hopes of securing a severed right foot, he had to admit that Molly was rather good at fixing his relationship flubs. He’s never given much thought to the fact that it’s probably because she spent so much time imagining herself as the one in a relationship with him.
Currently, Sherlock knows that John only holds one more Nuisance Coupon of the twenty he’d been issued last Christmas. He even knows that John keeps it tucked away in his wallet. But he isn’t sure if he’s ready to make more of them, especially now that he's seen first-hand the way John hoards them away for “special occasions.”
It’s something he’ll have to think about.
And something John will probably find in a small box on Christmas morning.
*
4. Baking with Mrs. Hudson
“Fuck! Oh fucking Christ, Sherlock, that’s brilliant. Shit.”
The thing about John Watson, Lover of Sherlock Holmes, is that he has the mouth of a sailor who has been denied his most carnal needs. That sailor is always there, simmering just below the surface, ready to make even Sherlock blush with his needy words. Fuck.
The thing about John Watson, Da of Hamish Holmes, is that he bristles at the word “damn” being muttered in the same room as his son. They may as well be two different people; their vocabularies are so vastly different.
Which is why Sherlock works so hard to make him come undone when they are child-free for any short period of time, like this afternoon, when Mrs. Hudson has decided to do her seasonal baking. Which she borrows Hamish for--cheeky wink or no. Sherlock can’t complain--it’s an introduction to applied chemistry--and, well. He can’t complain about the, erm, opportunities that arise between him and his partner, either.
He’s arched his back as he rolls his hips in a slow circle, enjoying the way John’s fingers dig into the skin of his thighs. The bed creaks obscenely with every downward slide, a lovely complement to John’s near-coherent ramblings. He’s been trying to slow the pace for several minutes now, but each time his body tugs John’s cock into that sweet spot, it makes Sherlock want to go faster, harder.
“Squeeze me agai--oh God.” John’s neck arches as he tosses his head back on the pillow, groaning and thrusting his hips off the bed only to be pressed right back down. His fingernails dig into the flesh of Sherlock’s thighs, leaving small crescents in their stead. “I’m going to come, fuck, Sherlock, I’m--”
But Sherlock isn’t ready to go that far just yet, and he prompts another slew of frustrated words when he quickly disengages and kneels on the bed next to his partner. His long fingers trail up John’s heaving stomach and chest, light-haired skin stained red from exertion and nearly identical to his own current coloring.
“Fuck you,” John says, a small smile playing on his lips. He takes a few more breaths before clambering onto his own knees and all but tackling Sherlock down to the mattress. The taller man doesn’t protest, instead spreading his legs when John nudges them apart with his knee. They’ve reached a practiced stage in their lovemaking where it barely requires any guidance for John to breach his lover’s body once more.
It’s slower now, possibly because John’s taken over and decided he wants it to last. Sherlock can always tell what he’s thinking about based on how he’s moving--and right now he’s trying not to remember how they used to be able to do this all over the flat. Over the couch, the kitchen table, the desk, the bloody television set.... And then suddenly they’re both remembering the fact that their son, who is currently downstairs with their landlady, was probably conceived on the steps to what is now his bedroom.
John’s mouth presses against Sherlock’s throat and he laughs quietly against his skin, a puff of air and a ripple of his stomach against the leaner man’s. “Oh, God, this is absurd.” His hips falter for a moment in their slow slide and he shakes his head, grounding himself by sucking a delicate bruise into his partner’s shoulder.
“You thought about having me over the table before they’d even got downstairs,” Sherlock notes, pressing up so that his cock rubs against John’s navel. It’s warm and a little slick, but not enough to get him off. Anyway, he does it again. “You keep thinking about how long it’s been since we’ve--”
John cuts him off by nibbling on his bottom lip, sucking a moan from that heart-shaped mouth. “No deductions in bed,” John warns. Sherlock quirks an eyebrow--a challenge John isn’t sure about--and when the doctor squints back, Sherlock’s body grips him tight. “Oh, fuck, maybe... those kinds of deductions are... acceptable.”
Sherlock takes the better part of the next hour making sure “acceptable” is an understatement.
*
5. Jim-jams
The only tradition at Baker Street that precedes the birth of Hamish is Christmas pyjamas, and it continues now, though with slightly more feet, and a little white lie.
Prior to the birth of their son, John and Sherlock had exchanged one gift on Christmas Eve. Their first Christmas together, they’d each chosen pyjamas for each other’s night-before-Christmas gift without actually meaning to. The next year, they agreed early in the holiday season to make it a tradition. Christmas-themed pyjamas--a great way to bring in the holiday.
Any parent--even the two fathers at 221B--knows how difficult it is to get a child into bed on Christmas Eve. Now that Hamish understands that Father Christmas is going to be coming into the flat with his Christmas wishes (which, somehow, no one has managed to get out of the boy), he doesn’t want to go to sleep.
Which is where the pyjamas come in. Hamish loves footed jim-jams. And he whole-heartedly believes in Father Christmas.
John is the one who comes up with the creative fib, and they both agree that it will likely come back to bite them in their respective arses eventually. On Christmas Eve, he wraps his son in a towel after his bath and leads him into the living room, where three parcels are wrapped in shining green paper under their little tree.
Hamish’s pale blue eyes brighten in the fairy lights. Sherlock feels a swell of pride at the realization that Hamish remembers the wrapping from last year’s gifts from Father Christmas. He’s deduced it.
“Father Christmas brought us all an early gift, Hamish,” John explains, crouching down next to his son. The boy’s small frame buzzes with excitement and he pulls his towel closer around him, though Sherlock can tell he’s mostly dry now and the room is warm enough that he won’t be chilled. “Why don’t you find yours and open it for us?”
Sherlock knows that Hamish likes to open large gifts, so he’d made sure to find a decently sized garment box for the tiny pair of footed jim-jams when he’d been doing the wrapping. It’s no surprise when the little boy gravitates toward the large box and immediately turns the card over. There, in the elegant scrawl of the man in red (Well, Lestrade--they’d needed handwriting Hamish wouldn’t recognize), is Hamish’s name.
He drops his towel and holds the box in both arms. “Mine!”
“Go on,” Sherlock encourages.
Hamish doesn’t need another word of encouragement. Stark naked, he drops to the rug and tears at the paper, tossing the lid off the box just as quickly as he discards the wrapping. The shoulders of the pyjamas are folded neatly under a layer of tissue paper and Hamish plucks them from the box.
“Reindeer ‘jamas!” He smiles toothily up at his fathers and hugs the pyjamas close.
“I guess Father Christmas wants to make sure you sleep snugly tonight while he brings you your presents,” John offers. They’ve agreed on this--an early gift from the imaginary fat man in order to encourage Hamish to go to sleep at a decent hour. Lestrade has offered that this might also keep him from setting traps when he’s a bit older, but Sherlock knows that, realistically, the boy will try to capture Father Christmas at one point or another if he doesn’t discover the lies before age six.
“Can I go to bed right now?” Hamish asks. He stands, holding his new jim-jams like a security blanket and Sherlock wonders if he’ll ever hear the boy ask that question again.
“The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you get to open your presents in the morning.” John reaches for the footed pyjamas. “But first, let’s get you dressed and those curls brushed. Then maybe your father will read you a Christmas story.”
Sherlock shoots John a pointed look, but he softens when Hamish turns to him with hopeful eyes.
“Of course,” Sherlock replies, as if he has any choice. He enjoys telling the boy stories, but it’s hard to keep Hamish believing in fairy tales when he’s seen the harsh realities of the world. Occupational hazard.
John ushers the excited tot off to clean his teeth and Sherlock looks back at the Christmas tree.
Maybe John is right. Perhaps it’s best to keep the magic alive while it’s still believable.
*
+ One
Christmas morning marks the third day that Sherlock has known, but it’s all been so busy that there just hasn’t been time to do more than confirm the news with himself, let alone tell anyone. Like John, who should probably know.
He wakes up just after dawn with the knowledge that Hamish will probably be following soon after. In the flurry of Christmas, it’s likely that they’ll be micromanaged down to the minute by familial expectations. Seeing Mrs. Hudson, Molly, and Greg. Seeing Mycroft, seeing Mummy, and Harry and Clara, and when did Christmas become about more than their little flat?
“John,” he says quietly. He’s done this before. In fact, this is the second Christmas morning to see such news, but that doesn’t quell the gnawing sensation in his lower abdomen. This is, after all, the second time that this has been spectacularly unplanned.
His fingers slip along John’s bare stomach, trailing through the coarse hair at his navel and curling over his hip. The doctor is wearing nothing but his first Christmas present of the year--a pair of red pants with white piping that Sherlock picked out entirely because he’d put pants on his Christmas list and, well, they were colored appropriately.
“John,” Sherlock says again, a bit louder. As his lover hums into consciousness, Sherlock shakes his head to dispel his curls from his eyes, kisses John’s unmarked shoulder. “Good morning. Happy Christmas.”
John rolls over so that he’s facing the detective, hands wandering up Sherlock’s chest and right arm at the same time. “To you as wel--” A cat-like yawn interrupts him and he follows it with a quiet bout of giggles. “To you as well,” he repeats, smiling his just-for-Hamish-and-Sherlock smile. “I thought for sure Hamish would be up before us.”
“I haven’t heard a peep from him yet, though I don’t give it long,” Sherlock says. “Maybe eight minutes.”
John closes his eyes and rolls onto his back, flopping his head on the pillow. He trusts Sherlock’s judgement enough to know that he’s probably accurate down to the second.
“What do you suppose it’s like to be the elder child?” Sherlock asks, settling up onto his elbow.
John’s eyes remain closed, but his eyebrows raise in surprise. “Dunno. Harry’s got me by five years. I imagine it’s nice to have someone to blame for mischief in the beginning, then you hate each other, and then eventually you work it out. You’d know--you’ve been through it with Mycroft.”
“Yes,” Sherlock says, “but I’m the youngest, same as you.” He squints his nose. “It’s just that we both have terrible relationships with our siblings, and I wonder if it’s the same for all paired children.”
For a long moment, Sherlock wonders if John has fallen back asleep, but then his sleepy partner peeks out of one eye to observe his curly-haired bedmate.
“I think it mostly depends on the childhood relationship, parents picking favorites, all that.” He sets himself up on his elbow, mirroring Sherlock. “What’s brought this on, then? Psychoanalyzing so that you can not get into a row with your brother on Christmas for a change?” John teases.
“I think it’s one of those parental worries. I know how our childhoods were with older siblings and I worry that Hamish will be that godawful elder brother that his younger sibling resents for his or her entire life. Which then makes me wonder what it is about the eldest child that makes them so likely to become problematic for the younger--is it because the eldest is jealous of the youngest? Does the elder child need more attention in order to feel--”
“Hang on,” John says, putting one finger against Sherlock’s morning-chapped lips. “I think you may have forgotten to mention a crucial aspect of this conversation. Either that, or I slept through it. Still, slow it down for a minute.”
“I may have neglected to mention that we can expect another child in seven to eight months, but I thought it implied with the direction of the conversation--”
“You’re pregnant.” No question, just a slightly flabbergasted expression across John’s features as he pushes himself up to a sitting position. Sherlock follows, not sure whether John can handle the surprise just yet and mildly concerned that he might fall over. Thankfully, there are few better places to fall over than in a bed.
“Approximately four weeks, yes.”
John blows out a long stream of air between slightly-parted lips before running his hand through his hair. “Hamish is going to be a big brother.” It sounds like he’s trying the words on for size. He looks back at Sherlock, eyes drifting down to the flat of his stomach. “Figured if we were going to do that again, you’d make me carry it.”
Not that there had ever been any discussion of another child, but Sherlock knows John’s words aren’t quite true. While they have as varied a sex life as having a small child will allow, the number of times Sherlock has done that to John numbers at less than a dozen for their entire relationship.
“This wasn’t on my Christmas list, you know,” John says, scooting forward on the bed. When he’s close enough, he cups Sherlock’s face in his hands and pulls him in for a kiss. “I guess some of the best gifts are the ones we really don’t expect.”
Sherlock smiles against his lover’s mouth, pulling him closer until they’re embracing, slowly tipping back down onto the bed. The first time he’d given John this sort of news, there had been an undercurrent of panic throughout the holiday until they’d both sat down and decided they really could be parents. Now that they know they can do it, the second child should be significantly easier.
Maybe.
“How do you propose we tell Hamish he’s going to get a little brother or sister?” John asks a few minutes later.
The door bursts open and instantly there is a bundle of reindeer-patterned limbs bouncing about on the bed. “He knew!” Hamish cries out, grabbing at the blankets, unwrapping his parents like gifts. “He brought it? Where is it?”
“Hamish!” John reaches for his son’s shoulders, trying to calm the excitement. “He brought what?”
“Father Christmas! I asked him--” Hamish takes a deep breath, finding his indoor voice the way his primary school teacher would tell him to. “I asked Father Christmas for a brother or sister,” he states matter-of-factly, as if John and Sherlock have known all along what the little boy wanted. “You just told Father I was getting one. Where is it?”
One thing Sherlock has learned from early enough on is that, especially with Christmas and fairy tales, it’s okay to lie to your child. One thing Sherlock and John have learned is how to convey--with a single glance--that they are going to agree with each other on whatever lie the other has improvised. This is one of those moments, and the small quirk of John’s eyebrow tells him so.
“Hamish, remember helping Mrs. Hudson bake? And how you had to wait until the pies were ready to come out of the oven?”