On the eighth day of Sherlockmas ... "Experiment ..." a gift for noirrosaleen
Author: queerlyobscure
Title: Experiment: The Effects of 'Being Nice' to an Average Scotland Yard Detective
A gift for: NoirRosaleen
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock, John, Lestrade, Molly, Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft. Sherlock/Lestrade
Category: (Pre-)Slash.
Rating: G
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: When John presents a hypothesis - and a challenge - over Sherlock's behaviour towards Lestrade, Sherlock takes him up on it and devises an experiment - with surprising results!
Author's Notes: With apologies to scientific method.
Hypothesis: The subject - in this case, Detective Inspector Lestrade - responds well to 'nice' behaviour, here defined as social interaction intended solely to improve the mood and circumstances of the subject, i.e. bringing them coffee, buying them dinner, not treating them as though they're unintelligent, especially when you know they are.
Note: Credit to Dr. John Watson for assistance in defining 'nice'.
Three Weeks Earlier
"That went well." John went back to his paper to the sound of the front door slamming, glancing over it at Sherlock, who'd gone back to pacing. "I don't suppose it's worth encouraging you to apologise?"
Sherlock ignored him and kept wearing a rut in the carpet.
"You know, I have a radical new idea about getting Lestrade to let you in on cases."
Sherlock pretended to keep ignoring him, but John knew the other man well enough now to know when he was paying attention.
"You could try being nice to him. It is the season of good will to all men, you know."
"It's November."
"Christmas soon enough," John grumbled.
"You were invited to the family Christmas dinner yesterday," Sherlock announced.
"You saw the mail come. That was an easy one." John paused, a tiny smile playing over his lips. "All that brain power and you can't even get a detective with 'some small talent' - presumably miniscule, compared to your ability - to do what you want him to. Sad really."
John smiled to himself behind the paper as he noticed Sherlock's jaw tighten. It was the smallest movement, but John played enough cards to spot a tell when he saw one.
"Fine." Sherlock nodded decisively. "We'll try it your way. How do you propose I 'be nice' to Lestrade?"
Method one: Bring coffee for Lestrade when he next requests a meeting, made the way he usually takes it.
Note: Credit to Dr. Molly Hooper for information on Lestrade's coffee drinking habits.
"Are you saying that with all your observational skills, you've never noticed how Inspector Lestrade drinks his coffee?" Molly wrinkled her nose. "I thought you were friends."
"John said the same." Sherlock frowned. He wasn't sure of either his and Lestrade's friendship, or the prerequisite for friendship taking the form of knowing how they have their warm beverages. "I don't understand why this is such closely guarded information, I just want to know how he takes it so I can bring him a cup."
Inexplicably, Molly's face softened from the scorn she'd been trying to hide earlier to considering. Sherlock decided to try something else John had suggested. "Please, Molly."
Now she was smiling. Before Sherlock had the opportunity to fully appreciate the power of basic good manners, Molly had grabbed a pen and paper and written down 'Lestrade - black, two sugars'. She tore the paper off and pressed it into Sherlock's hand. "So you don't forget."
"Thank you." Sherlock looked down at the paper and then folded it into his pocket. He turned to leave, but paused in the doorway when a thought occurred to him.
"Molly?"
Molly looked up from the work she'd gone back to already, head tilted in a way that Sherlock suspected meant she was curious about what he was going to say. Or that one of her earrings was heavier than the other, but that seemed less likely.
"How do you take your coffee?"
Molly smiled again. "White with one sugar."
Sherlock nodded and went to leave again, pondering the ease with which he'd been able to get information once he'd made an attempt to be polite. If it could be assumed that Molly - also a person of moderate talent in her chosen field - was an average person, and Lestrade was an average person, then perhaps there was something to be said for John's 'being nice' idea. At very least, it was worth further investigation.
Result one: The subject shared required information freely once he had been handed a cup of coffee. His mood also seemed improved, possibly due to the warming and stimulant effect.
"This is for me?" Lestrade looked between the cup of coffee Sherlock had pressed into his hand, and the man himself, treating them both as though they were a mystery equal to the one he'd been called out to investigate.
"Of course." Sherlock kept his eyes firmly on the body in front of him. "Friends bring each other coffee."
"Oh." Lestrade frowned, clearly still suspicious of the gesture, but beginning to accept it. He shared a look with John, and John shrugged and nodded, and then Lestrade shrugged as well and sipped his coffee cautiously.
Sherlock assumed that meant he'd come to full acceptance of the coffee, and felt a small, unexpected thrill of pride at the tiny smile he caught Lestrade directing at the coffee cup, but suspected was for him.
"Right, well, remind me to tell you about a case last week that might interest you, after you've gone over the crime scene."
Sherlock looked around to see that they were nearly alone where they were, with the rest of the necessary personnel hanging back, behind the police line. "Before forensics gets to it?"
Lestrade nodded. "You always complain that they make a mess of things, so you get first crack at it this time. Do your stuff, Sherlock."
After a glance at John to check if perhaps Lestrade was being subtly sarcastic - and finding no sign that he was - Sherlock took this as the thank you it was intended to be and went to work. Perhaps John really was onto something.
Method two: Engage in one-on-one social interaction with the subject over beverages and/or food to make it clear that you value their company. In this case, aforementioned social interaction will take place in a local pub.
Note: Credit to Mrs. Hudson for assistance in deciding on a location.
"What are you doing with the phone book, dear?" Mrs. Hudson frowned at her lodger as she moved past the downstairs kitchen table to put the kettle on.
Sherlock thought about ignoring her, but with the knowledge that so far, getting assistance from others with matters he hadn't made an attempt to educate himself on, he decided against it. "John thinks that Lestrade would be more inclined to do what I want him to if I was nicer to him."
Mrs. Hudson looked at Sherlock dubiously. "What are you planning on doing?"
"Taking him to lunch." Sherlock looked up. "I'm trying to determine a suitable location. John said neutral territory', but didn't elaborate."
"It should be somewhere you'll both be comfortable." Mrs. Hudson paused, apparently realising who she was talking to. "Perhaps the pub down the road? You're less likely to be late, then."
Sherlock wasn't entirely convinced by his landlady's reasoning, but flawed reasoning seemed to be working so far in this particular experiment. "All right." He closed the phone book over again and stood. "Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. Your advice is much appreciated."
"You're welcome, dear."
Result two: Subject offered copies of case files previously requested, at risk of punishment if it was discovered that he was sharing them with non-police individuals. Subject also smiled approximately one hundred and fifty percent more than usual in a similar time period.
"Lunch?" Lestrade repeated, obviously unsure that he was understanding correctly.
"Yes." Sherlock nodded. "I would like to take you to lunch. Tomorrow, if it's convenient."
"Convenient?" Lestrade questioned again.
"Yes." Sherlock frowned. "Is there something wrong with my speech?"
"No," Lestrade was quick to assure Sherlock. "Well, yes, but not in the way you'd think."
"Will you come to lunch with me or not?" Sherlock snapped.
"Now, that's more like it." Lestrade nodded. "Where did you want to meet?"
Sherlock had named a pub not far from 221b that he'd judged was least likely to kill anyone with their food or general safety practises, and waited there when lunch time the next day came. He was not, by any means, nervous: other people got nervous, he had nothing at all to be nervous about, since Lestrade had already formed a strong opinion of him and would likely not be swayed by one shared meal.
No, nervous was not the word for what he was feeling. He was... apprehensive of running out of appropriate things to say. John had banned several topics of conversation before he'd left, so he was short on subjects to bring up already, and had discounted half a dozen more on the basis that neither he nor Lestrade cared much about sport, the weather, or the latest celebrity gossip. How 'normal' people had a conversation, Sherlock wasn't entirely sure.
He had no further time to ponder this question when Lestrade did, in fact, show up. Sherlock hadn't been certain he would, suspecting that Lestrade had been as unsure of the idea as he himself had been at first.
Sherlock's eyes lit up when, as well as the Inspector, a stack of familiar folders showed up in front of him on the table he'd chosen. He assumed that Lestrade had brought them with him, and pulled them towards himself.
"These are the case files I wanted." He looked up to make sure that they were, in fact, those files. Lestrade nodded and sat down opposite him. Sherlock didn't miss that he did look comfortable in his surrounds, and made a mental note to credit Mrs. Hudson for the suggestion.
"Thought I might as well give them to you before you stole them anyway." Lestrade shrugged.
"Thank you," Sherlock said, almost automatically now. John had also been right about it being easy once you got used to it. He went to go through the files on the spot, but thought better of it and set them aside, giving Lestrade his full attention.
Lestrade smiled at him as he picked up the plastic-coated menu from the middle of the table. "Long as you find something we can act on." He paused. "You can look over them now, if you want. I know you're dying to."
Sherlock relaxed and grabbed the first folder from the top of the stack. By the time they'd both eaten - Sherlock had no idea what either of them had ordered, but it was passable and he'd solved three of the cases by the time their plates were picked up. All in all, he was willing to consider the outing a success.
The fact that Lestrade seemed pleased with him was an unexpected added bonus.
Method three: Pay compliments as appropriate.
Note: Credit to Mycroft Holmes for defining appropriate compliments.
"I've heard about your little experiment, Sherlock."
"I'm hanging up now." Sherlock hung up, quietly congratulating himself on his excellent manners in telling Mycroft he was going to do it, first.
His phone buzzed within thirty seconds.
>>Tell Lestrade you admire his intelligence. People like to be complimented on things like that. - MH
Sherlock ignored him.
>> Also, tell him you're grateful for being allowed to work with him. - MH
>>And that he makes an excellent colleague. - MH
>>And that you're sorry for being rude to him all year, and you'll try better from now on. - MH
After a pause to consider, Sherlock decided that he should continue in his new habit of being polite. Even to Mycroft.
>>Thank you for your advice. - SH
>>You might try putting it into practise at your Christmas party. - MH
>>What Christmas party? - SH
Result three: Favourable.
"Inspector." Sherlock cornered Lestrade once they were both not being occupied by other party-goers, determined to complete his experiment before Christmas day. Which was now less than an hour away.
"Hello, Sherlock. Surprised at you of all people throwing a Christmas party." Lestrade smiled at him. Sherlock was beginning to like that expression on the other man.
"It was John's idea." Sherlock paused. "I did help put up the tree."
"I wondered at the test tubes hanging off it." Lestrade nodded. He sipped from a cup of mulled wine, which, having been made by Mrs. Hudson, was guaranteed to be approximately 80 proof and not primarily composed of wine. Sherlock hadn't tasted it yet, but he didn't really need to.
"We lacked baubles." Sherlock defended. "But that's not what I wanted to say."
"I'm all ears." Lestrade rocked on the balls of his feet. Grudgingly, Sherlock admitted to himself that he was easier to get on with when he was in a good mood. He'd tell John he'd been right later. Preferably while he was asleep.
"I wanted to say that I value you as a colleague, respect your intelligence, and will try to be less... like me in the New Year." Sherlock paused, and then decided that he'd gotten the hang of this well enough to improvise. "Also, that shirt brings out your eyes, which is a good choice, because they are very interesting to look at."
Lestrade laughed, and for a moment Sherlock thought he'd made a mistake. Then the Inspector leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Sherlock had time to note that he smelled of spices and pine, very much like the rest of the house, but there was the familiar stale smoke and burnt coffee smell under it that he was just now realising he associated with the other man.
It took him a few more moments to realise he was blushing and smiling himself, but he was willing to excuse the temporary lapse based on the circumstances.
Conclusion: Detective Inspector Lestrade responds well to 'niceness'. Further exploration of this phenomenon has led to more favourable results which will be discussed in a further paper entitled 'Effective Workplace Courting Procedures'.
Title: Experiment: The Effects of 'Being Nice' to an Average Scotland Yard Detective
A gift for: NoirRosaleen
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock, John, Lestrade, Molly, Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft. Sherlock/Lestrade
Category: (Pre-)Slash.
Rating: G
Warnings: No standard warnings apply.
Summary: When John presents a hypothesis - and a challenge - over Sherlock's behaviour towards Lestrade, Sherlock takes him up on it and devises an experiment - with surprising results!
Author's Notes: With apologies to scientific method.
Hypothesis: The subject - in this case, Detective Inspector Lestrade - responds well to 'nice' behaviour, here defined as social interaction intended solely to improve the mood and circumstances of the subject, i.e. bringing them coffee, buying them dinner, not treating them as though they're unintelligent, especially when you know they are.
Note: Credit to Dr. John Watson for assistance in defining 'nice'.
Three Weeks Earlier
"That went well." John went back to his paper to the sound of the front door slamming, glancing over it at Sherlock, who'd gone back to pacing. "I don't suppose it's worth encouraging you to apologise?"
Sherlock ignored him and kept wearing a rut in the carpet.
"You know, I have a radical new idea about getting Lestrade to let you in on cases."
Sherlock pretended to keep ignoring him, but John knew the other man well enough now to know when he was paying attention.
"You could try being nice to him. It is the season of good will to all men, you know."
"It's November."
"Christmas soon enough," John grumbled.
"You were invited to the family Christmas dinner yesterday," Sherlock announced.
"You saw the mail come. That was an easy one." John paused, a tiny smile playing over his lips. "All that brain power and you can't even get a detective with 'some small talent' - presumably miniscule, compared to your ability - to do what you want him to. Sad really."
John smiled to himself behind the paper as he noticed Sherlock's jaw tighten. It was the smallest movement, but John played enough cards to spot a tell when he saw one.
"Fine." Sherlock nodded decisively. "We'll try it your way. How do you propose I 'be nice' to Lestrade?"
Method one: Bring coffee for Lestrade when he next requests a meeting, made the way he usually takes it.
Note: Credit to Dr. Molly Hooper for information on Lestrade's coffee drinking habits.
"Are you saying that with all your observational skills, you've never noticed how Inspector Lestrade drinks his coffee?" Molly wrinkled her nose. "I thought you were friends."
"John said the same." Sherlock frowned. He wasn't sure of either his and Lestrade's friendship, or the prerequisite for friendship taking the form of knowing how they have their warm beverages. "I don't understand why this is such closely guarded information, I just want to know how he takes it so I can bring him a cup."
Inexplicably, Molly's face softened from the scorn she'd been trying to hide earlier to considering. Sherlock decided to try something else John had suggested. "Please, Molly."
Now she was smiling. Before Sherlock had the opportunity to fully appreciate the power of basic good manners, Molly had grabbed a pen and paper and written down 'Lestrade - black, two sugars'. She tore the paper off and pressed it into Sherlock's hand. "So you don't forget."
"Thank you." Sherlock looked down at the paper and then folded it into his pocket. He turned to leave, but paused in the doorway when a thought occurred to him.
"Molly?"
Molly looked up from the work she'd gone back to already, head tilted in a way that Sherlock suspected meant she was curious about what he was going to say. Or that one of her earrings was heavier than the other, but that seemed less likely.
"How do you take your coffee?"
Molly smiled again. "White with one sugar."
Sherlock nodded and went to leave again, pondering the ease with which he'd been able to get information once he'd made an attempt to be polite. If it could be assumed that Molly - also a person of moderate talent in her chosen field - was an average person, and Lestrade was an average person, then perhaps there was something to be said for John's 'being nice' idea. At very least, it was worth further investigation.
Result one: The subject shared required information freely once he had been handed a cup of coffee. His mood also seemed improved, possibly due to the warming and stimulant effect.
"This is for me?" Lestrade looked between the cup of coffee Sherlock had pressed into his hand, and the man himself, treating them both as though they were a mystery equal to the one he'd been called out to investigate.
"Of course." Sherlock kept his eyes firmly on the body in front of him. "Friends bring each other coffee."
"Oh." Lestrade frowned, clearly still suspicious of the gesture, but beginning to accept it. He shared a look with John, and John shrugged and nodded, and then Lestrade shrugged as well and sipped his coffee cautiously.
Sherlock assumed that meant he'd come to full acceptance of the coffee, and felt a small, unexpected thrill of pride at the tiny smile he caught Lestrade directing at the coffee cup, but suspected was for him.
"Right, well, remind me to tell you about a case last week that might interest you, after you've gone over the crime scene."
Sherlock looked around to see that they were nearly alone where they were, with the rest of the necessary personnel hanging back, behind the police line. "Before forensics gets to it?"
Lestrade nodded. "You always complain that they make a mess of things, so you get first crack at it this time. Do your stuff, Sherlock."
After a glance at John to check if perhaps Lestrade was being subtly sarcastic - and finding no sign that he was - Sherlock took this as the thank you it was intended to be and went to work. Perhaps John really was onto something.
Method two: Engage in one-on-one social interaction with the subject over beverages and/or food to make it clear that you value their company. In this case, aforementioned social interaction will take place in a local pub.
Note: Credit to Mrs. Hudson for assistance in deciding on a location.
"What are you doing with the phone book, dear?" Mrs. Hudson frowned at her lodger as she moved past the downstairs kitchen table to put the kettle on.
Sherlock thought about ignoring her, but with the knowledge that so far, getting assistance from others with matters he hadn't made an attempt to educate himself on, he decided against it. "John thinks that Lestrade would be more inclined to do what I want him to if I was nicer to him."
Mrs. Hudson looked at Sherlock dubiously. "What are you planning on doing?"
"Taking him to lunch." Sherlock looked up. "I'm trying to determine a suitable location. John said neutral territory', but didn't elaborate."
"It should be somewhere you'll both be comfortable." Mrs. Hudson paused, apparently realising who she was talking to. "Perhaps the pub down the road? You're less likely to be late, then."
Sherlock wasn't entirely convinced by his landlady's reasoning, but flawed reasoning seemed to be working so far in this particular experiment. "All right." He closed the phone book over again and stood. "Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. Your advice is much appreciated."
"You're welcome, dear."
Result two: Subject offered copies of case files previously requested, at risk of punishment if it was discovered that he was sharing them with non-police individuals. Subject also smiled approximately one hundred and fifty percent more than usual in a similar time period.
"Lunch?" Lestrade repeated, obviously unsure that he was understanding correctly.
"Yes." Sherlock nodded. "I would like to take you to lunch. Tomorrow, if it's convenient."
"Convenient?" Lestrade questioned again.
"Yes." Sherlock frowned. "Is there something wrong with my speech?"
"No," Lestrade was quick to assure Sherlock. "Well, yes, but not in the way you'd think."
"Will you come to lunch with me or not?" Sherlock snapped.
"Now, that's more like it." Lestrade nodded. "Where did you want to meet?"
Sherlock had named a pub not far from 221b that he'd judged was least likely to kill anyone with their food or general safety practises, and waited there when lunch time the next day came. He was not, by any means, nervous: other people got nervous, he had nothing at all to be nervous about, since Lestrade had already formed a strong opinion of him and would likely not be swayed by one shared meal.
No, nervous was not the word for what he was feeling. He was... apprehensive of running out of appropriate things to say. John had banned several topics of conversation before he'd left, so he was short on subjects to bring up already, and had discounted half a dozen more on the basis that neither he nor Lestrade cared much about sport, the weather, or the latest celebrity gossip. How 'normal' people had a conversation, Sherlock wasn't entirely sure.
He had no further time to ponder this question when Lestrade did, in fact, show up. Sherlock hadn't been certain he would, suspecting that Lestrade had been as unsure of the idea as he himself had been at first.
Sherlock's eyes lit up when, as well as the Inspector, a stack of familiar folders showed up in front of him on the table he'd chosen. He assumed that Lestrade had brought them with him, and pulled them towards himself.
"These are the case files I wanted." He looked up to make sure that they were, in fact, those files. Lestrade nodded and sat down opposite him. Sherlock didn't miss that he did look comfortable in his surrounds, and made a mental note to credit Mrs. Hudson for the suggestion.
"Thought I might as well give them to you before you stole them anyway." Lestrade shrugged.
"Thank you," Sherlock said, almost automatically now. John had also been right about it being easy once you got used to it. He went to go through the files on the spot, but thought better of it and set them aside, giving Lestrade his full attention.
Lestrade smiled at him as he picked up the plastic-coated menu from the middle of the table. "Long as you find something we can act on." He paused. "You can look over them now, if you want. I know you're dying to."
Sherlock relaxed and grabbed the first folder from the top of the stack. By the time they'd both eaten - Sherlock had no idea what either of them had ordered, but it was passable and he'd solved three of the cases by the time their plates were picked up. All in all, he was willing to consider the outing a success.
The fact that Lestrade seemed pleased with him was an unexpected added bonus.
Method three: Pay compliments as appropriate.
Note: Credit to Mycroft Holmes for defining appropriate compliments.
"I've heard about your little experiment, Sherlock."
"I'm hanging up now." Sherlock hung up, quietly congratulating himself on his excellent manners in telling Mycroft he was going to do it, first.
His phone buzzed within thirty seconds.
>>Tell Lestrade you admire his intelligence. People like to be complimented on things like that. - MH
Sherlock ignored him.
>> Also, tell him you're grateful for being allowed to work with him. - MH
>>And that he makes an excellent colleague. - MH
>>And that you're sorry for being rude to him all year, and you'll try better from now on. - MH
After a pause to consider, Sherlock decided that he should continue in his new habit of being polite. Even to Mycroft.
>>Thank you for your advice. - SH
>>You might try putting it into practise at your Christmas party. - MH
>>What Christmas party? - SH
Result three: Favourable.
"Inspector." Sherlock cornered Lestrade once they were both not being occupied by other party-goers, determined to complete his experiment before Christmas day. Which was now less than an hour away.
"Hello, Sherlock. Surprised at you of all people throwing a Christmas party." Lestrade smiled at him. Sherlock was beginning to like that expression on the other man.
"It was John's idea." Sherlock paused. "I did help put up the tree."
"I wondered at the test tubes hanging off it." Lestrade nodded. He sipped from a cup of mulled wine, which, having been made by Mrs. Hudson, was guaranteed to be approximately 80 proof and not primarily composed of wine. Sherlock hadn't tasted it yet, but he didn't really need to.
"We lacked baubles." Sherlock defended. "But that's not what I wanted to say."
"I'm all ears." Lestrade rocked on the balls of his feet. Grudgingly, Sherlock admitted to himself that he was easier to get on with when he was in a good mood. He'd tell John he'd been right later. Preferably while he was asleep.
"I wanted to say that I value you as a colleague, respect your intelligence, and will try to be less... like me in the New Year." Sherlock paused, and then decided that he'd gotten the hang of this well enough to improvise. "Also, that shirt brings out your eyes, which is a good choice, because they are very interesting to look at."
Lestrade laughed, and for a moment Sherlock thought he'd made a mistake. Then the Inspector leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Sherlock had time to note that he smelled of spices and pine, very much like the rest of the house, but there was the familiar stale smoke and burnt coffee smell under it that he was just now realising he associated with the other man.
It took him a few more moments to realise he was blushing and smiling himself, but he was willing to excuse the temporary lapse based on the circumstances.
Conclusion: Detective Inspector Lestrade responds well to 'niceness'. Further exploration of this phenomenon has led to more favourable results which will be discussed in a further paper entitled 'Effective Workplace Courting Procedures'.