Re: Mycroft/Sherlock, pisskink WIP 4/?
anonymous
August 26 2012, 15:55:11 UTC
OP
Hahaha, I love you for picking up on my tendency to be absurdly cliché and attempt to be ~snappy instead of clear. It's a weakness of mine, I admit. As another anon noted, Mycroft points out that it's been thirty seconds because he's trying to highlight how dazed Sherlock is by the situation.
Also a little puzzled by jerking while peeing. Doesn't that play holy hell with aim? Can't quite visualize it.
This is the point at which it becomes very obvious that I do not have a penis. You know, I just never thought about it. Maybe Mycroft is so careful and measured in his strokes that he keeps Sherlock steady enough? Or maybe I just missed out on the wealth of opportunity to describe him erratically splashing everywhere. THIS WILL NEED MORE OF MY ATTENTION, I CAN TELL.
Thank you very much for taking the time to look at this. I was worried that Sherlock's behavior might be weird and opaque, which is part of the reason why I think this needs to be rounded out with a third scene, because all I have right now are weird clues that no one at all would pick up unless they knew what I was thinking, LOL.
Re: Mycroft/Sherlock, pisskink WIP 4/?
anonymous
August 27 2012, 08:42:30 UTC
Fumble-fingers makes sense.
I think it's clear that S wants the play, too. His abruptness is a little weird, but I just read that as a particular take on the character as an adolescent.
Bad aim could be lovely, if that's what one wants. ;-) Or some other thing. The question merely came to mind.
No major cliche fails -- there were a couple of common phrases that are somewhat cliched, but they just barely made my red pen fingers twitch.
Hahaha, I love you for picking up on my tendency to be absurdly cliché and attempt to be ~snappy instead of clear. It's a weakness of mine, I admit. As another anon noted, Mycroft points out that it's been thirty seconds because he's trying to highlight how dazed Sherlock is by the situation.
Also a little puzzled by jerking while peeing. Doesn't that play holy hell with aim? Can't quite visualize it.
This is the point at which it becomes very obvious that I do not have a penis. You know, I just never thought about it. Maybe Mycroft is so careful and measured in his strokes that he keeps Sherlock steady enough? Or maybe I just missed out on the wealth of opportunity to describe him erratically splashing everywhere. THIS WILL NEED MORE OF MY ATTENTION, I CAN TELL.
Thank you very much for taking the time to look at this. I was worried that Sherlock's behavior might be weird and opaque, which is part of the reason why I think this needs to be rounded out with a third scene, because all I have right now are weird clues that no one at all would pick up unless they knew what I was thinking, LOL.
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I think it's clear that S wants the play, too. His abruptness is a little weird, but I just read that as a particular take on the character as an adolescent.
Bad aim could be lovely, if that's what one wants. ;-) Or some other thing. The question merely came to mind.
No major cliche fails -- there were a couple of common phrases that are somewhat cliched, but they just barely made my red pen fingers twitch.
Snappy is good! It's always a balancing act.
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