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Minifill pt 1
anonymous
September 8 2014, 11:26:23 UTC
Just when he thinks he heared it all , he hears:"John we need to have your sperm tested!!!"
He puts his newspaper aside, takes a deep breath while pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sure my sperm is just fine sherlock". "Just fine wil not suffice John! I need data! Anderson and Donovan have been to a reproductive clinic. Her spermcount is 3.8 John! 3.8!" Sherlock exclaims with dramatic handgestures to support his indignation. "If She's a 3.8 you have to atleast be a 4. I told them there is no chance your spermcount is lower than that of people who should be forbidden to breed"
John smiles, so that's what this is about. An omega bragging contest. "Sorry I didn't inform you of my spermcount before we got together" he says, not even trying to hide The sarcasm in his voice. "Can't win them all ey?"
Sherlock huffs " don't be ridiculous John. Ofcourse I can. I might not know your spermcount ...yet. But I know your penissize and that is well on top of the Bell curve. They were quite envious when I informed them you are atleast two inches longer. And after I mentioned The with of your knot they knew they were defeated."
"I should also inform you Gregson and his aplpha aquired a new dryer." Well that seems surprisingly harmless to John and he moves to pick up his newspaper. But his hand stops in midair when he hears: "so I told him about the time you fucked me against our dryer and the dual stimulation of the vibrations and your cock in my ass made me come screaming. Their dryer is completely wrong for it. Not nearly high enough. Inferiour." Sherlock moves his hand trough the air asif he's trying to remove an annoying bug as he flops down on the sofa
Re: Minifill pt 2
anonymous
September 8 2014, 17:40:48 UTC
"Who...erm...who else have you been talking to?" John hopes he doesn't sound quite as apprehensive as he feels.
Another sigh, another twirl of his hand and finaly sherlock deigns to answer. "If you're going to ask me boring questions about Lestrade just do so John. Don't enquire in this tedious roundabout way. But if you must know yes he was there, yes I solved his case and yes, I was perfectly pleasent." Now there's a lie if ever John heared one. He loves his sherlock dearly but pleasent is not the first word that comes to mind to describe him.
"What did you say? What did you say to get under his skin? And don't even pretend you didn't" John scolds. "Did you mention your brothers diet again?" Sherlock can't quite mask the little almost smile on his lips. " I merely advised him to cut sugar and fat from Mycrofts diet. He's been gaining weight again. Besides, if they are ever going to start a family mycroft needs to maximise both quality and quantity of his semenproduction. Sugar and junkfood are negative influences. They can't all be gushers like you." At the look of Johns mortified face sherlock added "he might have said to never mention my brothers semen again" something John whole heartedly agrees to. "But he walked away eventualy and that's all that matters. I won"
John began to wonder what made his usual antisocial boyfriend so talkative allof a sudden. Than he remembered : omega pissing contest. He rubbes his hands on his face. How much worse could this get? "Anyone else?" And he did not just squeek thank you very much.
"Just that annoying barista that kept hitting on you and misses Hudson"
Re: Minifill pt 3
anonymous
September 9 2014, 19:24:29 UTC
John groans. Not misses Hudson. He can barely look her in the eye since they started shagging and sherlock turned out to be a very loud moaner. Ofcourse sherlock, the freaking picture of innosence, gleefully continues. "She asked if we would mind using the upstairs bedroom from now on. But I made it quite clear to her that it's simpely not possible if you are to indulge my military kink correctly. "
"And the barista?" John asks as he wonders where to get his coffee now. "It seems she has a new espressomaker" sherlock mumbles from behind his magazine". John can only wonder in frustration how that conversation went. "And?? What about the damned espressomaker? Am I hotter? Do I have a bigger nuzzle? Do I produce more fluid? Did you compare the taste to that of my semen? What? WHAT?"
With a sigh sherlock puts his magazine down. "It's red John. It clashes with their wallpaper."
John stares at him with his moutj open and hopes he hasn't given him any ideas.
He puts his newspaper aside, takes a deep breath while pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sure my sperm is just fine sherlock".
"Just fine wil not suffice John! I need data! Anderson and Donovan have been to a reproductive clinic. Her spermcount is 3.8 John! 3.8!" Sherlock exclaims with dramatic handgestures to support his indignation. "If She's a 3.8 you have to atleast be a 4. I told them there is no chance your spermcount is lower than that of people who should be forbidden to breed"
John smiles, so that's what this is about. An omega bragging contest. "Sorry I didn't inform you of my spermcount before we got together" he says, not even trying to hide The sarcasm in his voice. "Can't win them all ey?"
Sherlock huffs " don't be ridiculous John. Ofcourse I can. I might not know your spermcount ...yet. But I know your penissize and that is well on top of the Bell curve. They were quite envious when I informed them you are atleast two inches longer. And after I mentioned The with of your knot they knew they were defeated."
"I should also inform you Gregson and his aplpha aquired a new dryer." Well that seems surprisingly harmless to John and he moves to pick up his newspaper. But his hand stops in midair when he hears: "so I told him about the time you fucked me against our dryer and the dual stimulation of the vibrations and your cock in my ass made me come screaming. Their dryer is completely wrong for it. Not nearly high enough. Inferiour." Sherlock moves his hand trough the air asif he's trying to remove an annoying bug as he flops down on the sofa
And there's my train. More to come. Laterz
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Another sigh, another twirl of his hand and finaly sherlock deigns to answer. "If you're going to ask me boring questions about Lestrade just do so John. Don't enquire in this tedious roundabout way. But if you must know yes he was there, yes I solved his case and yes, I was perfectly pleasent." Now there's a lie if ever John heared one. He loves his sherlock dearly but pleasent is not the first word that comes to mind to describe him.
"What did you say? What did you say to get under his skin? And don't even pretend you didn't" John scolds. "Did you mention your brothers diet again?" Sherlock can't quite mask the little almost smile on his lips. " I merely advised him to cut sugar and fat from Mycrofts diet. He's been gaining weight again. Besides, if they are ever going to start a family mycroft needs to maximise both quality and quantity of his semenproduction. Sugar and junkfood are negative influences. They can't all be gushers like you."
At the look of Johns mortified face sherlock added "he might have said to never mention my brothers semen again" something John whole heartedly agrees to. "But he walked away eventualy and that's all that matters. I won"
John began to wonder what made his usual antisocial boyfriend so talkative allof a sudden. Than he remembered : omega pissing contest. He rubbes his hands on his face. How much worse could this get? "Anyone else?" And he did not just squeek thank you very much.
"Just that annoying barista that kept hitting on you and misses Hudson"
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more please!
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"And the barista?" John asks as he wonders where to get his coffee now.
"It seems she has a new espressomaker" sherlock mumbles from behind his magazine".
John can only wonder in frustration how that conversation went. "And?? What about the damned espressomaker? Am I hotter? Do I have a bigger nuzzle? Do I produce more fluid? Did you compare the taste to that of my semen? What? WHAT?"
With a sigh sherlock puts his magazine down. "It's red John. It clashes with their wallpaper."
John stares at him with his moutj open and hopes he hasn't given him any ideas.
The end
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