The Holmes Dilemna (2/3)
anonymous
May 11 2012, 14:31:33 UTC
Still, seeing Sherlock look so nervous because of him was rather new in an unpleasant way. He kept his head lowered, dark curls obscuring any view of his eyes. Every time he brushed against his brother, he seemed to jump as though he was scared. Nothing like Mycroft, who kept giving him the most sympathetic of looks. Little glances that were meant to comfort or apologize. John never could tell when it came to the two of them. Didn't want to now.
“You were fucking your brother,” John blurted out, having no other way of starting the conversation.
Nodding rather numbly, Sherlock looked at him with guarded eyes. “It happens from time to time.”
“He’s your brother.”
“Trust me, John, such facts have always been apparent,” Mycroft said, ever casual even in the face of this. No wonder the man ran the government. He not only had the mind of a machine, but he had all the moral conflicts of one as well.
“It wasn’t always like this,” Sherlock tried to explain. Stealing a quick glance at his brother, one that was all but pleading, he frowned. For once, even the great Sherlock Holmes was at a loss for words and John, sitting there with his arms crossed over his chest to purposefully looking defensive and judgmental, wasn’t going to help him sort it out. “It’s just… He understands me. He knows what it gets like and he’s all I ever had. It isn’t as though I was a popular boy.”
Which wasn’t hard to believe given the fact that he’d met Sebastian, the only person from Sherlock’s past that seemed to acknowledge him. The only thing more frightening than the thought that Sherlock may have always been the obnoxious git before him was the idea that he may have somehow improved to that point.
But looking at Mycroft, who remained ever calm and completely undisturbed by the situation, John knew that he couldn’t possibly have had an excuse for taking advantage of his little brother. He fit in. He socialized like a normal person and managed to maintain a normal life, even if it was running the entire government. There was no reason for him to actually need to take solace in his brother.
“I want him,” Mycroft said as casually as one would tell someone the time. “I knew back when Sherlock was a boy that we were playing at a dangerous game. He’d run to me instead of our parents, he’d stay in my room. He’d get jealous when he didn’t have my attention. Then there were the experiments and-“ Stopping himself, Mycroft merely smiled in the way that meant he had said more than he was allowed to.
Rising from his seat, he looked at Sherlock with his usual caring brother stare, something that now made John’s stomach churn in disgust now that he knew the extent of the man’s caring. Running his hand through Sherlock’s hair, Mycroft bent down to kiss him. When Sherlock turned his head, that blush of shame colouring his cheeks yet again, Mycroft paused before kissing his cheek and standing once again.
Moving to stand in front of John, his lips curled into a friendly smile while all emotion seemed to drain away from his eyes. “John, I’m certain we can keep this matter quiet, yes?”
The Holmes Dilemna (3/3)jdmcoolMay 11 2012, 14:36:42 UTC
Shrinking back into the couch, he couldn’t believe the man was threatening him. He was the one screwing around with his own family and somehow, Mycroft still felt he had every right to control the situation. To use that polite tone that meant he didn’t really have an option in the matter. Turning his head angrily, John nodded in agreement since it was all he could do.
“Wonderful. Well, this has been an interesting evening but I must be going. John. Sherlock,” he said, nodding at each of them before making his way out.
“I can’t stop," Sherlock blurted out the moment the door closed. "And it’s not an addiction, he’s not taking advantage of me, there’s no real medical risk.”
“He’s your brother, Sherlock,” John said, not understanding how they could over look such a fact.
Sherlock took a breath and shook his head. Looking at John with a far more serious look in his eyes, he said, “I love him. I love him as much as I can love anyone, rather. There aren’t any expectations like with a normal person. Half the time he’s not even in the country.”
“And what? The other half he’s turning you into a moaning simpleton like tonight?”
“You were supposed to be gone at your girlfriend’s.”
“Yeah well…” The words died on John’s lips as he thought about that. All the times he was out, staying the night with one of his girlfriend’s. That time he’d come home to find Mycroft and Sherlock just sitting there. Certainly that hadn’t been the only time. Simply the first and the idea that every time, each time he’d come home to find Sherlock on his own and watching the window like an anxious pet or with Mycroft meant that they’d been doing what he had seen tonight.
Getting up, he shook his head. “No. No. I can’t… No. You can’t have been… All this time? Are you serious?! What happened to being married to your work?”
“It’s what I say to keep people from trying anything. You can see how well saying that I’m shagging my brother goes over!” Covering his mouth, Sherlock took a moment to calm down before running a hand through his hair. He looked tired and scared and as much as John wanted to comfort him, he couldn’t. Not over this. “Look John, are you moving out?”
John clenched his jaw and shrugged helplessly. He should’ve. He really should’ve because what they were doing was wrong and he wasn’t just going to sit around and let it happen. Except he didn’t actually have much of a choice. Mycroft made it clear he wasn’t to tell a soul about their situation and John didn’t want to move out. He loved Baker Street and living with Sherlock. Or rather, he had before he’d caught the man doing things no person should with family.
Staring him down, he shrugged. “That’s my only option isn’t it? Give up my home or accept that you’re sleeping with your brother.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Great comfort than is,” John said before walking off angrily.
Re: The Holmes Dilemna (3/3)
anonymous
May 20 2012, 01:23:56 UTC
Excellent fill. Thank you so much!
I'd love to see a sequel for this story (so many unresolved issues for the boys!) but the angsty open ending does provide a delicious dose of cruel realism... I am conflicted. However, if you do decide to write a sequel PLEASE post a link here.
“You were fucking your brother,” John blurted out, having no other way of starting the conversation.
Nodding rather numbly, Sherlock looked at him with guarded eyes. “It happens from time to time.”
“He’s your brother.”
“Trust me, John, such facts have always been apparent,” Mycroft said, ever casual even in the face of this. No wonder the man ran the government. He not only had the mind of a machine, but he had all the moral conflicts of one as well.
“It wasn’t always like this,” Sherlock tried to explain. Stealing a quick glance at his brother, one that was all but pleading, he frowned. For once, even the great Sherlock Holmes was at a loss for words and John, sitting there with his arms crossed over his chest to purposefully looking defensive and judgmental, wasn’t going to help him sort it out. “It’s just… He understands me. He knows what it gets like and he’s all I ever had. It isn’t as though I was a popular boy.”
Which wasn’t hard to believe given the fact that he’d met Sebastian, the only person from Sherlock’s past that seemed to acknowledge him. The only thing more frightening than the thought that Sherlock may have always been the obnoxious git before him was the idea that he may have somehow improved to that point.
But looking at Mycroft, who remained ever calm and completely undisturbed by the situation, John knew that he couldn’t possibly have had an excuse for taking advantage of his little brother. He fit in. He socialized like a normal person and managed to maintain a normal life, even if it was running the entire government. There was no reason for him to actually need to take solace in his brother.
“I want him,” Mycroft said as casually as one would tell someone the time. “I knew back when Sherlock was a boy that we were playing at a dangerous game. He’d run to me instead of our parents, he’d stay in my room. He’d get jealous when he didn’t have my attention. Then there were the experiments and-“ Stopping himself, Mycroft merely smiled in the way that meant he had said more than he was allowed to.
Rising from his seat, he looked at Sherlock with his usual caring brother stare, something that now made John’s stomach churn in disgust now that he knew the extent of the man’s caring. Running his hand through Sherlock’s hair, Mycroft bent down to kiss him. When Sherlock turned his head, that blush of shame colouring his cheeks yet again, Mycroft paused before kissing his cheek and standing once again.
Moving to stand in front of John, his lips curled into a friendly smile while all emotion seemed to drain away from his eyes. “John, I’m certain we can keep this matter quiet, yes?”
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“Wonderful. Well, this has been an interesting evening but I must be going. John. Sherlock,” he said, nodding at each of them before making his way out.
“I can’t stop," Sherlock blurted out the moment the door closed. "And it’s not an addiction, he’s not taking advantage of me, there’s no real medical risk.”
“He’s your brother, Sherlock,” John said, not understanding how they could over look such a fact.
Sherlock took a breath and shook his head. Looking at John with a far more serious look in his eyes, he said, “I love him. I love him as much as I can love anyone, rather. There aren’t any expectations like with a normal person. Half the time he’s not even in the country.”
“And what? The other half he’s turning you into a moaning simpleton like tonight?”
“You were supposed to be gone at your girlfriend’s.”
“Yeah well…” The words died on John’s lips as he thought about that. All the times he was out, staying the night with one of his girlfriend’s. That time he’d come home to find Mycroft and Sherlock just sitting there. Certainly that hadn’t been the only time. Simply the first and the idea that every time, each time he’d come home to find Sherlock on his own and watching the window like an anxious pet or with Mycroft meant that they’d been doing what he had seen tonight.
Getting up, he shook his head. “No. No. I can’t… No. You can’t have been… All this time? Are you serious?! What happened to being married to your work?”
“It’s what I say to keep people from trying anything. You can see how well saying that I’m shagging my brother goes over!” Covering his mouth, Sherlock took a moment to calm down before running a hand through his hair. He looked tired and scared and as much as John wanted to comfort him, he couldn’t. Not over this. “Look John, are you moving out?”
John clenched his jaw and shrugged helplessly. He should’ve. He really should’ve because what they were doing was wrong and he wasn’t just going to sit around and let it happen. Except he didn’t actually have much of a choice. Mycroft made it clear he wasn’t to tell a soul about their situation and John didn’t want to move out. He loved Baker Street and living with Sherlock. Or rather, he had before he’d caught the man doing things no person should with family.
Staring him down, he shrugged. “That’s my only option isn’t it? Give up my home or accept that you’re sleeping with your brother.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Great comfort than is,” John said before walking off angrily.
Reply
I'd love to see a sequel for this story (so many unresolved issues for the boys!) but the angsty open ending does provide a delicious dose of cruel realism... I am conflicted.
However, if you do decide to write a sequel PLEASE post a link here.
PS: Mistakes? As if I would notice, heh.
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