Rant Post

Mar 16, 2012 22:06

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No real directions, but this isn't a place for debate. It's a place for RANTIN' AND RAVIN'.

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off topic by nature, rants

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anonymous March 17 2012, 03:36:43 UTC
When I was a kid I used to feel everyone's problems all the time. I was a serious little thing.

Now I'm an adult and after a few shaky starts and attempts at medication, I can finally consider myself a healthy, content and well-rounded person. There's only one problem: after spending my teenage years and early adulthood in a fog of mental illness, it seems like I missed out on the "learning empathy" part of development.

I know that there are other anons on this rant meme who have had problems with mental illness, and lots of anons who either are now or who used to be bad at social skills. I recognise that empathy would be a good thing to have. So do any of you crazy nonnies know how I could improve my empathising skills? I've definitely made progress in the past year and can fake it to the point where nobody can really tell the difference, but it's still... well, fake.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 04:12:55 UTC
I can't read facial expressions, so, sadly, i will be of no help to you.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 04:24:43 UTC
AYRT

Can you not empathise without the ability to read facial expressions? That's interesting. I'm bad at judging affect, which is another thing I've been working on recently.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 13:22:49 UTC
I can empathise somewhat...it just takes me longer to realize that I need to. (Basically, people around me have to use words to tell me how they feel.)

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anonymous March 17 2012, 04:17:47 UTC
Considering I am completely apathetic in regards to anyone but two members of my immediate family, I will be no help to you at all.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 04:22:44 UTC
AYRT

That sort of apathy is a very common side-effect of depression. I'm sorry if that's what you're going through at the moment.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 04:23:55 UTC
AYRT

I am on medication for depression, but I'm also quite comfortable with my apathy, ngl.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 04:25:49 UTC
AYRT

Well, in that case I hope your depression lifts and your apathy remains consistent.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 07:50:50 UTC
Well, the key here is to look at the word empathy.
It's feeling the pain of another person like it was done to you.
Usually, just thinking of how you would feel if it had happened to you and seeming sympathetic/encouraging/supportive, whatever seems most contextually apropos, is good enough for most people.

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anonymous March 17 2012, 21:03:20 UTC
What above anon said. Just try to put yourself in the other person's situation, imagine yourself at their place.

Also, try to meet and talk with different people. You don't seem a shy person, and don't worry too much about making gaffes or stuff like that. Just chat people up and listen to what they have to say, most of the time it's a learning experience in any case.

(Read very good books. Classic introspective books, like, Russian literature or French literature, are good. I'm putting this as an afterthought because it might not work for you, but this type of literature taught me a lot about people and how they work).

If you're really worried about it, ask a counsellor or a therapist, group therapy might help. Or at least try some psychology book - I'm not sure there are self-help for your specific problem, but a generic introduction to psychology could give you some insight.

Frankly, I don't think you need to worry, however. You sound pretty well balanced.

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